I folded them as I took a deep breath and laid them on one of the lounge chairs. Beck was watching my every move as I made my way toward him. His chin was resting on his arms, but his eyes were solely on me.
I sat down next to him and dipped my toes into the cool water. I slowly dragged my feet back and forth and watched the way the water cascaded over my legs. I did everything I could to avoid looking over at him.
“Are you happy now?” I held on to the edge of the pool and glanced over at him.
He was still just staring at me. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or what was going through his head, but the mask he normally wore felt like it was slipping. His eyes looked more green than brown, and he looked like he was perfectly content in that moment. Just sitting there staring at me.
“I am happy.”
That should have made me feel good. It should have made me do anything other than becoming overwhelmed with anger. But when I closed my eyes, all I could see was her. Here he was with me breaking rules, basically breaking into the club, and he should have been with her.
“Cami,” I said her name, and he let his head fall back between his shoulders in exasperation.
“I don’t want to talk about Cami.”
“Well, that’s too bad, Beck.” My hands tightened on the pool’s edge. “I feel like Cami is the only thing we should be talking about right now.”
He shook his head, but I wasn’t finished.
“She’s your girlfriend.”
“I told you…” He practically growled out the words.
“You belong to her.”
“Fine.” He pushed his hair out of his face and moved closer to me. He placed his hands on either side of my legs, our fingers only centimeters apart.
He had a silver chain around his neck that I hadn’t noticed before. The water glistened off it, and I felt mesmerized as it dangled in the space between us.
“Let’s pretend like I am hers. That doesn’t stop you from wanting me.”
My gaze snapped up to his, and the urge to slap him was unreal. How dare he say something like that to me?
I pushed off the concrete in order to escape him. My leg was only halfway out of the water when his fingers gripped my thighs. “Please don’t.”
“Don’t slap Cami in my face.” My thighs shook beneath his touch. “I’m already aware that what we did was wrong.”
“Cami doesn’t give a shit about me.” He tried to push his way between my knees to get closer to me, but I boxed him out.
Beck was already close enough. I couldn’t think straight as it was, and every inch closer he got to me fucked with my head a little bit more. I needed to put distance between us. I needed to get away from him.
“She says differently.”
“Did she also say my dad was sick?” His fingers dug into my skin. “No?” He chuckled, but I had no idea what he was talking about.
I shook my head softly. “I don’t know…”
“Exactly. She didn’t tell you because she doesn’t know. Cami doesn’t care about anything other than her reputation.”
“I don’t understand.” He was talking in circles. I knew that they were supposedly unsteady, but this felt like more.
“Cami uses me, Josie, and I use her.”
I tensed as the words passed his lips. I didn’t want to think about either one of them using each other. The thought made my chest feel tight and made the urge to run away pump through every part of me.
“So, what? It’s just sex?”
He searched my face, and I tried to hide my reaction. I couldn’t protect my heart from Beck Clermont if I let him know every one of my secrets. He needed to know that I was unaffected by him and Cami. I needed to make him believe that I didn’t care.
“No.” He shook his head. “I mean, yes, there has been sex.”
I looked away from him because I felt like I was going to snap. There was something inside of me that was pulled so tightly in so many directions, and I felt like another single word from his lips could make it all shatter apart.
“But that’s not what it’s about.”
I bit down on my lip and looked up at the night sky. The stars were so bright that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed them before. But I had been too busy looking at him to even worry about looking up.
“Cami’s fucked up.”
I jerked as I listened to him say that about her, but he tightened his hands on my thighs to keep me still.
“Her parents have expectations of her that she will never fulfil. They have pushed her for her entire life, and she’s beyond her breaking point.”
“So what?” I finally looked back at him. “You cheating on her is supposed to help?”
“You don’t understand.” He bit down on his bottom lip, and I knew that he was struggling with what to say to me. I didn’t know if it was because it hurt him somehow or because he was simply coming up with the lies as he went. “Cami’s sleeping with Mr. Weston.”
“The art teacher?” I said it so loud I was sure someone was going to know we were here.
“Yes. The art teacher. She’s been sleeping with him since we were sophomores.”
“I don’t understand.” I didn’t understand anything he was saying. If Cami was sleeping with someone else, why would he still be dating her? Why would he act like he was completely unaffected by her betrayal?
“Nobody knows, Josie.” His eyes were a little wild, and I knew he wasn’t supposed to be telling me this. For whatever reason, this was Cami’s secret that he was willing to keep. “Cami
