“So, she fucks a married man and you’re her boy toy on the side? That doesn’t sound like love.” I was beginning to hate Cami. I had resented her before, knowing she had Beck, that he was hers, but now it felt different. I was judging her for something I couldn’t understand.
He pressed his fingers into my chin and lifted my face to look at him. “Cami was there for Frankie when no one else was. Cami’s not bad.”
I shook my head because that still didn’t make sense. What did Frankie have to do with anything?
“Cami’s in love with a man who has preyed on her weakness. She’s obsessed over him, and he goes home and fucks his wife. I know that doesn’t make it right, but I don’t know how to help her. This is the only way I know how.”
“So, she uses you so no one suspects a thing, and you get what? Are you just the hero here?”
“I’m not a fucking hero, Josie.” He cupped some water in his hand and let it fall over my knee. “No one suspects anything of her, and I get to do as I please with no expectations.”
Realization finally hit me. “You get to fuck whoever you want with no attachments.”
He winced but didn’t deny a thing. “I told you I wasn’t a hero. Cami and I have been the ‘it’ couple at Prep since we really were dating. We didn’t see why we should end a good thing when we could both still get what we wanted.”
“You are so fucked up.” I pushed up to stand, but this time he gripped my hips and pulled me down into the water with him. I slapped at his shoulder and brought my knees into his stomach as the cool water hit mine. “Let me go, Beck.”
I was so angry, and I wanted him away from me. He had touched me, had brought my body to orgasm, and he expected me to just sit here and be okay with what he was telling me.
I was one of the girls who was supposed to have no expectations.
I was as dispensable as the rest.
“I can’t.” He ran his nose up my neck while I was trying everything in my power to get away from him. His hands were clinging to me and forcing me against him, and every part of me wanted to melt against his body.
Even though I hated everything he had just said, I still somehow didn’t want him to let me go. I pushed against him, begging him to stop, but my heart raced for more.
I knew how fucked up that was. I knew how insane that made me.
But I couldn’t stop it.
He kissed the spot where my soaked t-shirt met my neck and I let out the tiniest whimper. He didn’t need any more encouragement. Gripping my thighs in his hands, he lifted me and forced them apart as if he couldn’t stand another moment away from me.
And I let him.
I let him press against my center, and I didn’t say a word as his tongue ran along the length of my neck.
I would deal with the consequences tomorrow. I had known Beck was a bad idea from the beginning, and he was becoming more and more of a mistake the longer I got to know him.
He had made it clear to me that he wasn’t the hero, but I had still wanted him to be. I wanted him to be more than what he showed everyone else, more than what he showed me, but I was a fool.
I was as stupid as I had just judged Cami for. I was falling for a guy who was as available to me as Cami’s affair was to her.
Both of us knew that it wouldn’t end well, but it didn’t stop us from falling. Beck was a risk I had been willing to take. He was a risk I knew would destroy me in the end, but I couldn’t see that far ahead.
All I could see was him and the way he was looking at me like I was the only thing he needed.
I tightened my legs around his waist and pulled him even closer to me. I wanted to feel him everywhere. I wanted to know that I wasn’t just imagining this in my head. I wanted to see him burn for me like I was burning for him.
Because right now, I felt like nothing could stop the searing want inside of me. I had never felt like this before, not even a fraction of this need, and I wanted him to feel it too. I needed him to.
Because he may have thought I was another girl who was nothing to him, but I couldn’t believe that. Not at this moment.
Tomorrow, I would clear my head, and I would face the facts head-on.
But tonight?
Tonight, I just wanted to pretend like I wasn’t the girl whose entire life had been ruined the moment my mother had left me. I wanted to pretend that I didn’t hate everything except for him. I was just a girl who needed him, and he wasn’t the guy who was going to ruin me.
I could forget that he wasn’t the hero for a little bit longer.
His mouth met mine, and I didn’t hold back. I could taste the alcohol on his tongue when it met mine, but I didn’t care.
I let him devour my mouth, and I used my legs to push myself against him over and over again. There was barely anything between us, but it still felt like too much.
I gripped the edge of my t-shirt and struggled to pull it over my head. Beck laughed as
