At this, he sat up. “What?”
Rick listened intently as I clumsily unspooled the tale of my blackout night with Cole, his denial we’d slept together, and my realization that he’d drugged me. When I was finished, he pulled me into another bear hug as I shed more tears—though this time they were tears of relief. Just the act of voicing my story had lifted an enormous weight from my shoulders.
“I wanna kill him,” Rick growled into my hair.
“Me too.”
He pulled me into his lap and cupped my face in his hands. “I am so sorry this happened to you.”
“On the bright side, at least I don’t remember the rape part.”
“Are you going to press charges?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. I want to. But it’s my word against his, and after the lies my father spread about me, my word isn’t exactly golden. I am gonna quit working for him though.”
“Shit. I’d hope so.” He stopped himself. “I support you whatever you want to do, but…” His jaw tensed. “He should have to pay for what he’s done. He shouldn’t be allowed to do it to other women.”
“Like Stella,” I agreed. “I know.”
“I don’t want you to go to Guyana with him.” He popped his knuckles. “I don’t want you anywhere near him. I want to—” He balled his hand into a fist and slammed it into the mattress.
“He’s not coming,” I said. “He’s staying here.”
He looked at me sideways. “On the island?”
“Yep. Says it’s safe, and we’re all being crazy.”
“Maybe he’ll get blown away by the storm.”
“One can dream,” I agreed. “You could come to Guyana with us? There’s room on the plane.”
He sighed. “I need to stay here with my family. It’s not so much the storm—a cat one won’t be such a big a deal on Saint Ann—it’s the cleanup. My parents—they aren’t getting any younger.”
I nodded. “You know we probably won’t be coming back.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “I was afraid you’d say that.”
“It’s probably for the best though,” I said. “I’m a wreck, in a complicated situation. You don’t want to be involved with me right now.”
He placed a finger lightly to my lips. “Don’t tell me what I want.” His eyes grew serious. “I know it’s crazy because we just met, and we live thousands of miles apart—”
“And I’m pregnant and haven’t decided yet what to do about it,” I added. “Because I have to be honest, I haven’t. If you’d asked me before this happened what I would do, what I should do…” I sighed. “It’s different when it’s hypothetical. I’m not sure yet, and you should know that.”
He nodded, rubbing my palm with his thumb. “That too. But I guess I’m a romantic. I don’t meet a lot of girls I like, and I like you. I’d like to…” He shrugged, and the corner of his mouth lifted. “See?”
My heart inflated like a balloon. “Even if where it goes is nowhere?”
He laughed. “With expectations that low, what do we have to lose?”
He wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed me. Every nerve in my body tingled as he ran his big hands up my back beneath my shirt. “Is this okay?” he asked, laying me gently back on the daybed.
The breeze caressed my skin as I lifted my shirt over my head in answer and pulled him to me.
Felicity
Last sunset on the island. Last beach stroll in the rosy twilight, the crescent bay reflecting the radiant sky. The waves this evening are larger than I’ve seen them, cresting chest high before crashing onto the shore, leaving cliff-like ridges in their wake. The wind is cool on my bare shoulders, blowing my short hair into my face. In all my incarnations, this is the shortest my hair has been, and I like it. I do miss my eyes though. With all the sand and seawater, the contacts are irritating, and I never quite feel like I’m seeing myself when I look in the mirror.
Mary Elizabeth runs circles around my feet as I march across the sand toward where Jackson waits for me at the water’s edge like a heartthrob from a teen movie, his locks tousled by the steady breeze.
“Hi.” He goes in for a hug as I turn to start walking, leaving us in a clumsy spoon embrace. He laughs, and the awkwardness is immediately diffused. I allow myself a brief moment to enjoy the comfortable closeness of his arms around me before pulling away to give Mary Elizabeth a bit of kibble. Every inch I permit myself with him only makes me want another. It’s a vicious cycle that can’t last. “I can’t believe this is all going to be destroyed tomorrow,” I comment.
“Hopefully not completely destroyed. Maybe we’ll be back to finish the film.” Our eyes meet. “No, you’re right. We’re not finishing the film. Fuck.”
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No. But maybe it’s for the best. I knew going into it that working with my dad was going to be hard, but shit. This has been worse than I’d ever imagined.” He laughs bitterly. “It’s my fault for giving in to the lure of nepotism.”
I roll my eyes. “Believe me, if nepotism had been available to me at any point in my life, I would have been on it like white on rice. And so would pretty much everyone else in the world.”
He smiles. “So stop being a little bitch?”
I hit him playfully in the biceps. “Exactly.”
“It helps having you around to talk to.” I can feel his eyes on me, but I keep mine trained on the pink-tinged sand in front of me. “I hope we can keep it up when we’re back in LA.”
A crab scuttles across our path, and Mary Elizabeth scampers backward. My mouth struggles to form the words I don’t want to say. “I don’t know whether I’m going back to LA.”
It’s an idea I’ve been toying with but now realize I probably need to follow through on. I’ve grown
