Normal Gets You Nowhere
Kelly Cutrone
with Meredith Bryan
For Ava,
my mother,
and the Universal Mother
Do not simply believe what you hear just because you have heard it for a long time.
Do not follow tradition blindly merely because it has been practiced in that way for many generations.
Do not be quick to listen to rumors.
Do not confirm anything just because it agrees with your scriptures.
Do not foolishly make assumptions.
Do not abruptly draw conclusions by what you see and hear.
Do not be fooled by outward appearances.
Do not hold on tightly to any view or idea just because you are comfortable with it.
Do not accept as fact anything that you yourself find to be logical.
Do not be convinced of anything out of respect or deference to your spiritual teachers.
You should go beyond opinion and belief. You can rightly reject anything which when accepted, practiced, and perfected leads to more aversion, more craving and more delusion. They are not beneficial and to be avoided.
Conversely, you can rightly accept anything which when accepted and practiced leads to unconditional love, contentment and wisdom. These things allow you time and space to develop a happy and peaceful mind.
This should be your criteria on what is and what is not the truth; on what should be and what should not be the spiritual practice.
—From the Kalama Sutta, The Buddha
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Epigraph
Introduction
Chapter 1 - Comfortably Numb
Chapter 2 - The Kella-Sutra: If You’re Not Getting Fucked by Midnight, Go Home
Chapter 3 - Holy Daze (Holla, Days Off!)
Chapter 4 - Awakening Universal Motherhood: My Three-Way with Wonder Woman, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Amma
Chapter 5 - Compassion Is in Fashion
Chapter 6 - I Fought the Law and the Law Won
Chapter 7 - The No Matter What Club
Chapter 8 - Seasons in the Sun
Epilogue
Notes
About the Author
Copyright
About the Publisher
Introduction
I’m not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I’ve always been a freak. So I’ve been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I’m one of those people.
—John Lennon
I was always fascinated by people who are considered completely normal, because I find them the weirdest of all.
—Johnny Depp
One day last spring, I got a call from my publishing company. They were ready to talk book number two. What? I thought. Book number one just came out three months ago! Are these people on crack? It turns out my editor didn’t just want any second book—she wanted me to rewrite the Ten Commandments! By now I was sure she hated me. She was probably envisioning me writing things like, “Thou shalt have sex with whomever you want, whenever you want, wherever you want.” (And actually, that is a commandment I’d write.) Even though every fiber in my being—as well as my years of professional experience—screamed, “NO!” I decided to give the Commandments a once-over, just to make sure I wasn’t missing anything.
I mean, have you read them lately? I pulled them up online, and I have to say number nine really got me going:
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything that is your neighbor’s.
Oh, you know, anything that is your neighbor’s—his ox, his ass, or his wife! As I suspected, I was not down with this. I told my editor I would respectfully pass on rewriting the Ten Commandments, but that I’d love to write a second book, thank you very much.
And this time I started with the assumption that you already know that 90 percent of what we’re seeing around us and being asked to do and agree with is complete and utter bullshit, whether it’s called “commandments” or the Law. I’m writing for all of you who have ever stood up against the falsity that’s been labeled truth and shoved down our throats as well as anyone who still aspires to. But most of all, this book is for people who want to find personal fulfillment and success in their career, but also live in a world full of unique, creative, expressive individuals who march to the beat of the Divine’s drummer, agreeing on things like basic human rights and the need to end suffering.
Basically, this book is for freaks. In my opinion, we need to raise an army of supertalented uberfreaks if we’re ever going to really change the world—since it’s only freaks who ever have. Look at Steve Jobs, Helen Keller, Rosa Parks, Vivienne Westwood, The Mother, Nelson Mandela, Indira Gandhi, Benjamin Franklin, Bono, Vincent Van Gogh, Paco Rabanne, Che Guevara, Amelia Earhart, Leonardo Da Vinci, Pope Joan, Leonard Cohen, Beethoven, Albert Einstein, Joan of Arc . . . well, you get the picture. How many of these people followed anyone else’s rules? Could any of them possibly be considered anything close to normal?
Let’s pause for a moment to see what Merriam-Webster has to say about “normal”:
nor-mal: 2 a: according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle; b: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern; 4 a: of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development.
Duh. I rest my case. Who wants to be that?
By now you probably know that I have little patience for the teachers, parents, bosses, and even friends who tell everyone they need to sit quietly and fit in. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in and were definitely not normal. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people put a spotlight on their differences—and changed humanity in the process.
