“Why, Rob? Why did you tell me so many lies? Why did it have to end like this?” Tears are burning my eyes. I need a drink. No, a voice suddenly says inside me. Then I remember the Antabuse in my handbag. I must take it later. At least I might get some decent sleep. I’ll need it with the day I’ve got in front of me tomorrow.
“I’ll take good care of Jack, I promise. Please watch over him – and me. I know things had gone wrong, but I was still your wife.” My voice is rising, so I lower it to a whisper. I reach for his hand. It’s cold and waxy, which is to be expected, but it still comes as a surprise.
“Rob.” I feel stupid now, but the words tumble from me. “I’ve looked everywhere for your life insurance, and your will. Turner has disappeared and it feels as though someone is out to get me. There was someone in our house last night Rob and someone has just tried to run me off the road. If there is such a thing as an afterlife – if you can somehow hear me, please help us. Rob, I’ve got our son to look after.” Tears are streaming down my face. “I’ve got our son.” I really hope Emma isn’t listening.
This is how desperate I am. I’m standing in a chapel of rest, asking my dead husband to pull some strings from beyond the grave. Rob was savvier than to not leave a will or any life insurance.
It’s impossible to think that Rob would be so taken in by some charlatan, who had claimed to be able to multiply his investment ten fold. I thought he was more astute than to trust someone with nearly half a million pounds. Even if they went back a long way. But now, even more than the money, I am worried about my own safety.
I stare at him as though trying to drink in every detail. “I’m going to leave you now Rob. I loved you so, so much, you know.” I touch his hand again. “Perhaps I’ll see you again one day.”
* * *
Nobody goes to a funeral unless they absolutely must.
And today I must.
Chapter 42
Christina moves the curtain aside. “The car’s here. Are you ready for this Fiona?”
“I haven’t got a lot of choice, have I?” I smooth down my ill-fitting dress. I’ve lost so much weight since I bought this last year, that it’s hanging from me. It’s a beautiful midsummer day, probably too warm for the black tights I’m wearing, but I can’t wear my black court shoes without tights. For the first time since Rob died, I’ve blow-dried and straightened my hair, and I’ve even got makeup on. I feel better for it.
Christina jangles her car keys. “I’ll drive us. Try to relax.”
I grab my bag and follow her from the house.
“Don’t forget to lock up,” she says, as I walk away from the front door without doing so. God, there’s some maniac on the prowl, and I’m forgetting to lock up my house.
The driver of the hearse doffs his hat as I walk towards it. I stare at the D-A-D arrangement. Jack asked about coming, but thankfully agreed that it would probably be too much. When I dropped him at school, his teacher promised to keep a close eye on him. A funeral is no place for an eight-year-old. Today will be hard enough for me to get through, without having to focus on Jack as well. Plus, I do not know who is going to turn up.
“We’re going to follow you there,” I say to the driver as we turn towards Christina’s car.
“Right you are.”
“How come you didn’t get a family car to follow?” Christina glances at me as we set off, following at a snail’s pace. The other undertaker is walking in front of the hearse. At the end of the street, he stops, turns to face it, and bows his head. Several neighbours are out, watching our small procession. I hope some of them will come along. If only so I can say thank you for the bits and pieces that have been left on the doorstep over the last couple of weeks.
“What would have been the point in getting a family car?” I reply. “Rob was an only child. Jack’s at school, and I wouldn’t have wanted to share a car with Denise and Simone.” We schedule the journey to pass their house so they can follow in their own car from there. I got a text message from Denise to say they were both coming, and she expected to speak to me at the wake about the financial situation. Like hell.
“I’d have travelled with you.”
“Would you really? To be honest Christina, I thought you weren’t speaking to me. I’ve not seen you since they arrested me.”
“I thought you had enough on your plate without me turning up every five minutes. I decided I should leave you be.”
“Turning up once would have been good. To start with, you were great.”
“I’m sorry.” She’s quiet for a moment. “Have they let everything drop against you? I’ve not heard anything else in the news.”
“I don’t know what’s happening.” We pass the local bike shop. The staff are out and bow their heads as our cortege passes them. Rob was probably one of their best customers. He was always in there, buying accessories or having his bike serviced or realigned. “I don’t want to think about all that today.”
“Where are your parents?” She flicks her hair behind her shoulder. “Are they meeting you there?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t heard from them. And my phone’s broken.”
“I wondered why you
