This is such a bad idea. Even for pretend.
Outside, the morning air is brisk, the sky gray, and the grass damp. It’s the perfect weather to wrap up in blankets and binge Veronica Mars. Instead, I tread farther into the yard, losing Pax’s touch as I keep my eyes on the ground, searching for the missing keys.
“I can’t believe how cold it gets here,” Maddie says, pulling her jacket tighter. It’s cute and fashionable and has me feeling extra drab in my leggings and white Brighton zip sweatshirt. If I’d known I would have to carry out this lie, I definitely would have showered and at least applied mascara.
Mike glances at me, reading my thoughts about how mild it is this morning. “She keeps asking if it’s cold enough to snow.”
Paxton releases a gentle laugh. “Seattle’s pretty mild. I’m sure you’ll acclimate. You’ll have to head up toward Canada or the other side of the Cascades to see much snow.” Pax looks at me. “Leavenworth is pretty cool, and they get snow. We went there, and Poppy loved it.”
“Is it super outdoorsy? I’m not really…” She cringes as if not wanting to admit that she’s not an outside type of girl. Her honesty brushed with her fear of acceptance only makes me like her more, though.
“No. I mean, it can be. It’s a charming German town. Everything is themed. All of the architecture and signs look like a small Bavarian village. You can do things outside, or they have lots of small shops and restaurants.”
“Poppy was obsessed with a chocolate shop we found there,” Pax adds, surprising me. We went to Leavenworth three years ago with his parents during the summer. I was Rae’s plus one, and he’d brought Lincoln and Caleb. I’d expected the three of them to do their own thing, but they ended up spending most of the three-day weekend with their parents and us, exploring the small town and going on long afternoon hikes, and returning to a small chocolate shop we’d discovered on the first day. I can’t believe he remembers, especially considering I’d nearly forgotten.
“I love chocolate,” Maddie says. “That sounds fun.” She looks at Mike again.
“It’s really touristy,” he says, as though dismissing the idea that it could be fun. “Here they are.” Mike leans down and scoops the keys out of the grass.
“Thank goodness. I don’t think my landlord would look very highly on me if I had to go ask for new keys three days after I moved in.” Her words have my attention cutting to Mike, trying to read between the lines. Do they not live together? Did she transfer here after he did?
“Thanks so much for letting us interrupt your morning,” Maddie says, moving to stand beside Mike. He wraps an arm around her shoulder, the move practiced and automatic.
“Yeah. No problem,” Pax says, mirroring Mike’s movements but taking it a step further by pulling me close to his body and placing a kiss on my temple.
“We should totally do a double date,” Maddie suggests excitedly.
“We would, but we’re swamped right now,” I say.
“Yeah. We’re in the thick of football season,” Pax says. “Between that and school, it can be tough to find a break to breathe. We’re pretty much homebodies.”
Mike nods, and his gaze shifts between Paxton’s hand on my shoulder and our faces. “Well, I’m sure we’ll be seeing you guys around campus at some point or maybe another party.”
I nod in agreement, relief seeping through each muscle in my body as this conversation draws to a close. I remind myself that he’s already been on campus for over a month, and I hadn’t seen him until he reached out and asked to meet. This knowledge gives me hope that I won’t see them again in the near future and will have time to come up with an excuse for a fake breakup with Paxton that I can practice and make it sound believable on the off chance I do run into either of them on campus. “See you guys later.”
We walk them back through the house, closing the front door like a heavy book that I plan to shelve and never read again. I release a heavy sigh. “Thank you. Sorry that was awkward.”
Pax shakes his head. “It was nothing.”
“That would have been so embarrassing if they found out I lied.”
A grin pulls at Paxton’s lips. “Would it have mattered?”
“What?”
“Why’d you tell him you had a boyfriend?”
That relief I’d felt only mere seconds ago abandons me. “I don’t know. I just … didn’t want him to think I was still waiting for him.”
“Still?” Pax asks.
“Still what?”
“You said you’re still waiting for him.”
Heat rises to my cheeks.
“You’re not over him.” It isn’t a question.
“Yes. Yeah. Of course, I am. We’ve been broken up for fourteen months.”
“You’re counting?” His surprise has him pulling his chin back.
“It’s easy math. We broke up right after graduation.”
He nods, bringing one hand to his head where he runs his fingers over his mussed hair, but his eyes tell me he doesn’t believe me.
“I’m over him,” I say. “I just… It was a big deal.”
His eyes soften with empathy, making me wonder if he’s thinking about Candace. “I get it,” he says.
And as much as I want to avoid the thoughts and feelings that come with thinking about my breakup with Mike and how Paxton might be experiencing them as well, I know he understands.
7
Paxton
My parent’s divorce has been anything but amicable. I guess that’s to be expected, considering my dad threw away twenty-five years of marriage to sleep with someone more than half his age—more than once. Once the first affair went public, more women came forward with similar accusations and stories. He likely would have continued having affairs with students at Brighton had his most recent scandal not been caught on tape and distributed across social media for all of Seattle to see.
My mom’s moved into her own place, near our grandpa and our
