He grins. “Am I the shark or the lightning?”
“How is fake dating me going to keep you from going back to Candace?”
“Because if there’s one thing in my life that I’m still good at, it’s being a good friend, and I would not screw you over. And, I saw the way you looked at Mike and the way he looked at you, and I could tell things weren’t over between you.”
I want to shove his words out of my head, down the block, and straight into the Pacific Ocean, where they can sink into the many secrets of the ocean that Rae likes to share with me. “He has a girlfriend. A girlfriend who moved all the way from Arkansas to be with him.”
Doubt pulls at Paxton’s eyes and paints his mouth into a frown. “We all do things we regret.”
I hate how much I want to believe his words and how much hope they offer me. “She’s nice. I couldn’t … I wouldn’t.”
Pax smirks. “I know because you’re a nice girl, and you don’t do that kind of shit. And you wouldn’t have to. You saw how jealous he was just because I was standing next to you. I guarantee if he saw you with me a few more times, he’ll be breaking up with her and groveling at your feet.” He stares at me, his blue eyes bright as they try to bore this idea deeper into my head.
I should tell him that this would be horrible and awful and potentially hurtful to so many, and that Candace scares me a little too much to play this role, but fourteen months of wondering what would have been—what might have been—with Mike are currently running laps in my head. “How would we even pull this off?”
I regret my question and answer as soon as Paxton flashes a grin of victory that makes my stomach fall. What have I just agreed to?
“Wait, so you’re going to be dating my brother?” Rae’s face puckers as we sit in my room and I tell her about my afternoon and Paxton’s suggestion.
“Fake dating,” I clarify.
She shivers. “This is weird.”
Offense climbs each rung of my insecurities. “Because it’s me?”
“Yes. He’s using you, and I want to strangle him.”
“What if he’s not?” I ask.
Rae pauses from where she’s pacing in front of my bed and looks at me. Her eyes are a lighter shade of blue than Paxton’s, but they both have the same trademark dark, long lashes that leave me envious. My own lashes are a dark russet color, making applying mascara almost mandatory. “What does that mean?”
“I just… I feel overwhelmed.”
She nods, and I know my best friend well enough to know she understands. Like me, she’s sensitive and compassionate and a complete empath which makes it sometimes seem like we can read each other’s minds. “Is this about Mike?” I’m grateful she’s able to decipher this because even though it’s her, I’m not sure I could admit this aloud.
“I feel so conflicted.”
Rae grabs Peanut, the stuffed elephant I’ve slept with since I was a toddler, and that made the move here with us. She hugs him to her stomach and sits near my feet. “What are you conflicted about?”
“We dated for two years,” I say like this is a simple explanation for what I feel.
She nods. “He was your first love.”
“I know him better than maybe anyone, and he knows me. It was really hard to lose that. And when we met for coffee, I could feel it—that energy we shared. You know how Lincoln sometimes gives you a look when you’re in a room full of people, and you know exactly what he’s thinking without him saying a single word?”
Rae nods.
“That’s how it felt all over again. Like time hadn’t passed since I’d last seen him.”
Her gaze turns soft and sad before she places a hand on my knee. “I hate that he’s doing this to you. It’s not fair. I want to tell you to follow your heart, though, and if your heart is leading you to Mike, I don’t want to fight you over it, but, Poppy, he’s dating someone else.”
“I know. I know,” I repeat for emphasis because it’s literally the only thing I’ve been thinking about since meeting her. “I wouldn’t do anything unless they broke up.”
“So you want to make him jealous?”
“I don’t know what I want,” I admit. “Maybe?” I take Peanut from her and lean back against my headboard. “I don’t even know if I still like Mike or if I’m just attracted to the familiarity and comfort that comes with him, you know? I mean, Mike was a good boyfriend.”
Rae rubs her lips together but doesn’t say anything. I should probably end this conversation and go to bed because my emotions have been on overdrive for the past week, and everything is rubbing me the wrong way. Also, there’s this niggling thought that by morning, Paxton will have thought this through and be messaging me and saying it was all a joke or a mistake—or both. “Dating Pax, even though it’s a hundred percent fictional, will come with a price,” she says, pausing to allow this fact to lace into my thoughts. “And I’m not just talking about other girls flirting with him. I’m talking about girls whispering about you behind your back, talking about what you look like and what your hair looks like, and everything in between. And guys who you don’t even know will do the same.” I know she’s right. I’ve witnessed it happen to her on too many occasions and saw how many went after Rose when she was caught on camera in what appeared to be a compromising position.
“I feel like my confidence has taken a hiatus,” I admit to Raegan. “Last year, I was so certain I wanted to date around, and I realized that just isn’t my bag … I started
