Ending relationships or changing the boundaries of a particular relationship is not easy. It requires courage and faith. It requires a willingness on our part to take care of ourselves and, sometimes, to stand alone for a while.
Let go of fear. Understand that change is an important part of recovery. Love yourself enough to do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and find enough confidence to believe that you will love again.
We are never starting over. In recovery, we are moving forward in a perfectly planned progression of lessons. We will find ourselves with certain people—in love, family, friendships, and work—when we need to be with them. When the lesson has been mastered, we will move on. We will find ourselves in a new place, learning new lessons, with new people.
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No, the lessons are not all painful. We will arrive at that place where we can learn, not from pain, but from joy and love.
Our needs will get met.
Today, I will accept where I am in my relationships, even if that place is awkward and uncomfortable. If I am in the midst of endings, I will face and acceptmy grief. God, help me trust that the path I am on has been perfectly and lovingly planned for me. Help me believe that my relationships are teaching meimportant lessons. Help me accept and be grateful for middles, endings, and new beginnings.
December 30
Laying the Foundation
The groundwork has been laid.
Do you not see that?
Don't you understand that all you have gone through was for a purpose?
There was a reason, a good reason, for the waiting, the struggle, the pain, and finally the release.
You have been prepared. The same way a builder must first tear down and dig out the old to make way for the new, your Higher Power has been cleaning out the foundation in your life.
Have you ever watched a builder at construction? When he begins his work, it looks worse than before he began. What is old and decayed must be removed. What is insufficient or too weak to support the new structure must be removed, replaced, or reinforced. No builder who cares about his or her work would put a new surface over an insufficient support system. The foundation would give way. It would not last.
If the finished product is to be what is desired, the work must be done thoroughly from the bottom up. As the work progresses it often appears to be an upheaval.
Often, it does
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not seem to make sense. It may appear to be wasted time and effort, because we cannot see the final product yet.
But it is so important that the foundation be laid properly if the fun work, the finishing touches, is to be all that we want it to be.
This long, hard time in your life has been for laying of groundwork. It was not without purpose, although at times the purpose may not have been evident or apparent.
Now, the foundation has been laid. The structure is solid.
Now, it is time for the finishing touches, the completion.
It is time to move the furniture in and enjoy the fruits of the labor.
Congratulations. You have had the patience to endure the hard parts. You have trusted, surrendered, and allowed your Higher Power and the Universe to heal and prepare you.
Now, you shall enjoy the good that has been planned.
Now, you shall see the purpose.
Now, it shall all come together and make sense.
Enjoy.
Today, I will surrender to the laying of the foundation—the groundwork—in my life. If it is time to enjoy the placement of the finishing touches, I willsurrender to that, and enjoy that too. I will remember to be grateful for a Higher Power that is a Master Builder and only has my best interests in mind,creating and constructing my life. I will be grateful for my Higher Power's care and attention to details in laying the foundation—even though I becomeimpatient at times. I will stand in awe at the beauty of God's finished product.
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December 31
Affirming the Good
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.
—Beyond Codependency
Wait, and expect good things—for yourself and your loved ones.
When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours.
See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment.
Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become.
Wait, and expect good things.
Today, when I think about the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.
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Index
A
Acceptance—Feb. 17, Apr. 3, Oct. 29
Accepting Change—Apr. 19, June 30
Accepting Help—Jan. 5
Accepting Imperfection—Feb. 25
Accepting Our Best—Aug. 30
Accepting Ourselves—Mar. 3
Acting As If—Jan. 17
Affirmations—Dec. 11
Affirming the Good—Dec. 31
Afterburn—Mar. 27
Amends, Making—Aug. 26
Amends, Willing to Make—Aug. 25
Anger—Nov. 4
Anger at Family Members—Apr. 28
Anger, Accepting—Jan. 14
Anger, Letting Out—Nov. 14
Apologies—Sept. 19
Appreciating Our Past—Jan. 22
Appreciating Ourselves—Mar. 24
Asking for What We Need—Jan. 31, Aug. 9
Awareness—Nov. 25
B
Balance—Mar. 28, Apr. 30, Dec. 21
Balance, Finding—Jan. 12
Be Who You Are—Mar. 5, Oct. 1
Being Honest with Ourselves—Oct. 16
Being Is Enough—July 21
Being Right—Feb. 18
Beliefs About Money—Nov. 10
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Boundaries—May 17
Boundaries, Flack from Setting—Mar. 23
Bring Any Request to God—July 11
C
Celebrate—July 4
Charity—June 3
Clarity—Oct. 26
Clarity and Direction—Mar. 13
Clear Thinking—Dec. 14
Clearing the Slate—Jan. 24
Commitment—May 30
Commitment, Considering—Mar. 21
Communication—Apr. 15
Compulsive Disorders, Freedom from—May 4
Conflict and Detachment—Sept. 11
Conflicts, Negotiating—Apr. 4
Control—Feb. 15, May 5
Controlling Versus Trust—Oct. 14
Coping with Stress—Apr. 22
D
Deadlines—Apr. 20
Denial—July 24, Aug. 31, Nov. 3
Detaching in Love—Apr. 5
Detaching in Relationships—Aug. 21
Detaching with Love—Oct. 20
Detaching with Love with Children—Sept. 2
Detachment—Feb. 16, June 24, Nov. 30
Detachment, Conflict and—Sept. 11
Difficult People—Dec. 5
Directness—June 1, July 3, Aug. 12
Discipline—Nov.
