“Yes, and I will apologize to Alicia if I can ever find her.” A note of anger threaded through his words. More softly, he said, “I hope I can talk to Ari today.”
Eleanor said gently, “That’s for Ari to decide.”
Phillip surprised her by saying, “You know my parents are dead.”
“Of course I do,” Eleanor replied, insulted. “I went to their funerals.”
“And my sister lives in Australia now,” Phillip said.
“If you’re trying to imply that you have no family—” Eleanor began.
Phillip interrupted, “I don’t need to imply—”
“It’s a fact. I know. And I’d think that would make your wife and child all the more precious to you.”
“They are precious to me. But they are so connected to you and this house and Cliff that they don’t actually feel…all mine.” Phillip’s face was growing red with emotion.
“But, Phillip, that’s the way all families work,” Eleanor reminded him.
“Is it?” Phillip asked. “How many Christmases has my family spent here? How many summers? I’ll tell you. Every Christmas. Every summer.”
Eleanor twitched with annoyance. “I had no idea that was a problem for you.”
“I didn’t say it was a problem. But look—Ari told me she’s pregnant. I’m sure you knew about this before I did.”
“That’s true. You learned about it when Ari spotted you at the farm stand with your…whatever you call her.”
“I don’t call her anything anymore.” Phillip stood up and paced the room, hands shoved into his pockets. “That’s over. I’ve broken off with her. It was never a long-term thing, anyway.”
“But it was a thing,” Eleanor said.
“Yes, it was. And I regret it terribly. But honest to God, I didn’t think it would hurt Alicia. I didn’t think Alicia would even notice. All she talks about, all she wants, is for you to sell this damned house and give her a couple of million, and do you have any idea how that makes me feel? That I can’t give my wife what she wants?” His voice cracked. “I work all the hours God sends me.”
“Yes,” Eleanor said, nodding. “I know you do.”
“Yet Alicia and Ari, and probably you, think I don’t spend enough time with them.”
“Mortimer felt that way, too. That I didn’t appreciate how hard he worked. I can remember being stuck in this house during a week when it rained constantly almost every day. Alicia wasn’t upset, but Cliff was bored crazy, so he tormented Alicia, and I resented Mortimer because he wasn’t there to help.” Eleanor nodded to herself, remembering those days. “So I do understand, Phillip. A bit.”
“Thank you for that,” Phillip said. He collapsed in a chair. “So much has happened in such a short time. Alicia went on a cruise. And Ari told me she met a man.”
“I can’t speak for Alicia. She hasn’t called or emailed.”
Phillip hung his head. “I wish I could turn back time.”
Eleanor said, “No one can do that.”
“Eleanor, do you think our marriage is coming apart?”
“I really don’t know. That’s for you and Alicia to work out.” Eleanor stood up. “Ari’s here,” Eleanor said. “I hear her car. I’ll leave you two alone.”
She met Ari just as she was coming into the kitchen. “Your father’s on the deck.”
Ari frowned. “What should I do?” she asked.
But Eleanor quickly left the kitchen. She understood how Phillip felt. She was not going to tell Ari what to do.
—
Ari slid the glass door open and stepped out onto the deck. Her father stood only a few feet away from her. Her familiar, weary-looking father. She ached to hug him, to feel him holding her tight, patting her back, telling her it was all okay. At the same time, she was angry at him, and disappointed in him, and in many ways he had become a stranger.
She was just beginning to say, “So where’s Bemi?”
But her father spoke first. “Are you really pregnant, Ari?”
His concern, putting her first, the warmth of his voice, the question, made tears come to her eyes. She couldn’t speak, she could only nod her head.
“Well,” her father said, “that’s kind of cool.”
“Really? Do you think so?” Ari was smiling and crying at the same time. No one had told her it was kind of cool, and it was.
“I do. What’s the due date?”
“Late February.”
Her father pulled out a chair for her. “Let’s sit down. Do you want me to get you some iced tea?”
“No, Dad, I want you to talk about you first. Are you leaving Mom? Do you love Bummer? Sorry, I mean Bemi. I just called her Bummer in my head.”
“I’ve broken off with Bemi. I want to speak with your mother, but she doesn’t answer her cell when I phone.” He sat, and Ari sat across from him. “I’ve been a fool, Ari. I want to apologize to you, and to your mother. I suppose I wanted to feel young and free—you’ll understand better after you have your child.”
My child. Ari hadn’t thought of it as a child, but of course it would be an infant, and then a toddler, and then a child. Her own child.
“Does your mother know?” Phillip asked.
“No, not yet.” Before her father could ask, Ari said, “And Peter knows. It is his baby, but we’ve talked, and he wants no part of any of it.”
“That’s all right,” her father said. “It seems like half the world is single parents these days, and they’re all doing a good job, as far as I can see.”
“Are you going to divorce Mom?” Ari asked.
“I hope not. I hope she’ll forgive me. I think she’s more likely to if it’s true that she’s met a man on her cruise.”
“What? That doesn’t make sense.”
“I mean she’ll be more likely to forgive me if she’s done something I have to forgive.”
“That is so weird,” Ari said softly. “I feel like our family is coming apart.”
Her father was quiet for a while. They heard a gull call as it flew out over the
