“And Ari has gone and spoiled it all,” Alicia cried. “Even though we’ve canceled everything, we still have to pay the twenty percent deposit. It’s in the contract.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve paid it,” Phillip said in resignation.
Sitting in the backseat, as if she were still a child, Ari burned with indecision. I’m still here, she wanted to say, but she knew her parents weren’t thinking about her now. They were caught up in an argument they probably should have had years ago.
The stoplight turned green. The lines of cars began to inch forward. From behind them, an impatient driver leaned on his horn. Phillip gunned the car and shot through the yellow light just before it turned red.
Alicia still had her head turned away from her husband and she didn’t speak. But Phillip, as if invigorated by his traffic triumph, declared, “Alicia, I have tried to give you everything you want.”
Now Ari’s mother did turn to stare at her husband. Her expression was both angry and sad. “Well, it seems I haven’t been giving you everything you want.”
From her witness box in the backseat, Ari saw her father’s face flush.
Phillip cleared his throat. “Yes, that’s true, but you would be surprised at how little I want. I suppose I was looking for someone’s admiration. For someone who wanted my company, just my company. Who laughed at my jokes, who listened with interest to the way I had saved someone’s life that day, as if that was a significant thing to do. I’m getting older, Alicia, and it takes more of my concentration and strength to manipulate tools, instruments that I never would have dreamed of which have been invented while I’ve been in practice. I have had to take courses! Now I watch and learn from younger surgeons how to work with lasers and television screens. It takes a toll on me now to stand for several hours at a time. And when I’m off duty, I want to relax and watch a movie and eat pizza with my hands. I don’t want to be glamorous, Alicia. I want to be comfortable.”
They had turned off Route 9 and were now in a maze of roads leading to their Wellesley house. The style was French provincial and the landscaping was elaborate. Alicia had hired gardeners to shape the evergreens into geometric topiaries, as if she were Marie Antoinette. Ari had lived in this house all her life, or all of the life she could remember. She could remember how her mother had worried and fretted over exactly what wallpaper to use and how she had been almost frantic to change the kitchen countertops from tile to granite. Alicia worked hard to keep the house uncluttered. She had a cleaning lady who came twice a week, but she was almost obsessive about where the silver pitcher should sit on the sideboard and the magazines should be placed on the table in the family room, as if the house would explode if magazines were left in the living room. Ari thought of her grandmother’s house, which had gatherings of shells on the windowsills and books clustered on tables near wing chairs and notes and letters scattered around the house.
They pulled into the driveway. When Phillip turned off the engine, the silence inside the car was stark.
Ari spoke quickly. “I’m going to make a quick pit stop. Then I’m driving back to Hyannis. I’ll take a boat back to the island. I have a lot of things left there. I’ll need them wherever I am, Nantucket or Boston. Also, I want to take a few days to laze around on the beach and enjoy the island and my friends.”
Alicia brightened. “How is Beck?” She turned around to smile at Ari and her face was mottled with emotion.
Ari wanted to give her mother hope but she had to be truthful. “Beck is fine. We are really good friends. He knows I’m going to have a baby. I like him a lot, Mom, and I think he likes me, but we’ve only known each other three months. I’m a lot to take on.”
“He would be a lucky man to get you,” Alicia said.
“Thanks, Mom.”
Phillip reached into the trunk of the car and hefted out the suitcases Alicia had taken on her cruise. Ari started to follow but her mother put her hand on her arm and they stood outside for a moment on the green lawn.
“I’m sorry your father and I had to argue in front of you,” Alicia said.
Surprised and reassured by her mother’s concern, Ari asked, “Mom, did you really sleep with that professor dude?”
“Why shouldn’t I?” Her mother tossed her head and her warmth vanished, replaced by her cool façade. “Your father had an affair all summer.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Ari said.
“I know,” Alicia replied with a smile.
Ari sagged from the weight of her emotions, from the sight of her mother being playful. Suddenly, she loved her mother. She understood for a moment how it was for her, so full of dreams, and so different from Ari, her own daughter. “I’m sorry, Mom. I hope you guys work it out.”
“Thank you, Ari.” Her mother turned away and walked toward the house.
Ari followed. She rushed to her room, selected a few things to take back to the island with her, and ran down the stairs to the front door. She needed to hurry in order to return the rental car and catch the last boat to Nantucket.
She had no idea where her parents were now in this expansive house. “Goodbye!” she called. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow from the island.”
From the back of the house, her father called, “Safe trip!”
Ari had to adjust the seat of the rental car because her legs weren’t as long as her father’s. She strapped on her seatbelt, found a radio station with eighties rock, and returned to the road, happy to be away from her parents.
Twenty-Five
Eleanor was tucked away in
