I nod. “We’re both guilty of that,” I say.
“Would you ever have told me, if I hadn't seen you at the hospital?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“And you haven’t told anyone, not even Cree?”
I shake my head again. “Just Raven.”
Anna pushes herself to sit. “I’m glad you finally told me, even though you didn’t want to. I’m only sorry you felt you couldn’t sooner. If you need anything, anything at all, I’m here.” She stands and I have a second to make a decision. I can’t let her leave. Not again.
Chapter Nine
ANNA
I feel so exhausted from our talk. My eyes are swollen and sore from crying and my heart is in tatters . . . again. All this time, he’s been suffering and he couldn’t even tell me. I feel like a failure and a shitty wife. As I turn to leave, I feel his fingers wrapping around my wrist. “You’re not leaving,” he says, his voice firm. He pulls me back onto the bed. “You’re talking like it’s final. Like you can just walk out of here and pretend nothing’s changed.”
He wraps himself around me, my back to his chest, and presses his nose into my hair. We lay in silence for a few minutes. “It was easier to talk to Raven,” he whispers, and I try to pull away, but he holds me tighter against his body. “Relax,” he hisses. “It was easier because there’s no connection with her. She doesn’t look at me with puppy dog eyes like I’m crushing her whole world. Fuck, Anna, there’s no one that’s gonna replace you. You're my world.”
“Everything’s such a mess,” I mumble.
“You said, if there’s still love, then there’s still hope.”
“What do I know,” I say briskly.
“You know I love you. That never stopped. And you love me.”
“Do you, Riggs?” I ask. “I haven’t felt like you’ve loved me in a long time.”
“Apparently, I project,” he says and I frown. “Least that’s what Eleanor tells me. I projected my anger and hurt from Michelle onto you. My situation with her and Ziggy made me fear the same would happen with you and Willow. My behaviour was pushing you away, so if it happened again, it wouldn’t hurt me as much. I did it subconsciously, not intentionally.”
“The end result was still the same. I love my kids. I love yours. I’ve treated Ziggy like my own. I’d never leave my kids.”
“I know,” he mutters. “With everything else happening, I lost sight of shit. I stressed myself out thinking you’d leave the kids and I’d drop dead and then they’d lose us both.” He shifts and I feel his cock pushing into my back. “Don’t get any ideas,” he mutters. “It won’t stay.”
“How do we stop it happening again?” I ask. “We can’t keep putting the kids through this. Malia and Ziggy will end up messed up.”
“I can’t concentrate,” he mumbles into my hair as he pushes his erection against my ass. “It’s been too long since this has happened.” I smile. It should be the last thing on either of our minds, but I wiggle my ass against him anyway. “That ain’t helping,” he mutters.
“Maybe we should see what happens. If it turns out to be a false alarm, then so what,” I say, shrugging.
“I’d feel like less of a man,” he admits. “If I can’t please my wife.”
I move his hand to cup my breast. “I don’t think you’ll have a problem with that,” I whisper. “I seem to recall you were good with your tongue.”
I feel his body shake as a laugh escapes him. “There is that.”
His hand moves around behind my ass and he pushes up my dress, then gently tugs my panties down my legs. He pulls my ass closer to him and lines himself up at my entrance. “It might not work,” he mutters.
“Then I have a perfectly good vibrator we can play with instead,” I say, trying to ease the pressure he’s putting on himself. He enters me in one swift move, causing my breath to leave my body. I grip the pillow and push my face into it to stifle the moan of pleasure that escapes me.
“Shit, you have no idea how good that feels,” he pants, digging his fingers into my hip. He rolls on top of me, so I’m on my stomach, and begins to move, grabbing my ass hard as he thrusts inside me. “I never appreciated your pussy so much,” he groans.
It takes just minutes for me to reach my orgasm. It’s been so long since he touched me, just hearing his pleasure sends me spiralling over the edge. He follows, pulling from me right before he comes, spilling his pleasure onto my back. His heavy pants fill the room as he rubs the evidence of his arousal into my skin. “Mine,” he whispers.
“Yours,” I mutter.
RIGGS
I feel lighter, either because I’ve finally told Anna everything or because I’ve managed to fuck her. I don’t care about the reason, all I know is it feels good. We lie together, her head against my chest. “What happens now?” she asks. If there’s one thing I've learned from Eleanor, it’s not to rush things.
“I want us to see Eleanor together. We both have issues we gotta face.” I feel her nod. “No more running,” I add. “We have to try harder to make us work.”
“What if you get bad news from your final test results?”
I run my fingers along her back. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. One day at a time.”
“What about Reggie?” Anna asks.
“What about him? Burn the letters. There’s nothing he’s gotta say that we need to hear. But we have to be cautious, cos he’s clearly got someone watching you or feeding back information. You need a brother on you all the time. You and Malia.”
“I think I should stay living where I am for now,” she says quietly.
“For now,” I agree. “But not forever. We’re
