“I can’t do this,” I say, tears suddenly filling my eyes. “Oh god, I can’t.” The realisation hits me like a tonne weight and I pick my clothes up and begin to dress again.
“What are you talking about?” he asks, confusion on his face.
“This,” I say, pointing back and forth between us. “It’s too hard.” I suck in a shaky breath and turn the shower off. I push past him and stand in the bedroom, wondering what to do first.
“What does that even mean?” he asks.
“It means I’ve got to get out of here,” I say.
“And go where?”
“Anywhere,” I say, grabbing a bag from the wardrobe. “I can’t pretend that this is okay anymore.”
“So you’re leaving me?”
I stop and stare at him. “Yes,” I confirm. “I’m leaving you.”
Chapter Three
ANNA
I haven’t even left and I feel lighter. Riggs watches as I pack up some clothes for me and the girls. Leia walks in and stops when she sees me stuffing clothes into a bag. “What's going on?” she asks.
“I’m leaving,” I say, adding a smile.
“What?” she screeches, glaring at Riggs. “And you’re just gonna let her?”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” he mumbles. I try not to let his words break me. This is the right decision for me and my girls. “Besides, we’ve been here before, haven’t we?” he asks, staring at me. “But you always come back.”
I smile, though it doesn’t reach my eyes. “But this is the first time I’ve felt happy to go, so what does that tell you?”
“No,” says Leia. “No, it’s not for the best. You haven’t tried to save it,” she says. “You could try counselling,” she suggests. “And what about your job? Who will watch the kids when you go to work?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about that yet, but I know I have to leave. I can’t stand living like this anymore.”
“Where will you go?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I say and laugh. This is all so sudden, but I feel relieved. “A hotel, maybe a bedsit somewhere. Just until I find something.”
“You can’t take Willow into a bedsit,” wails Leia.
Riggs pulls out his wallet and takes out a stack of notes. He holds the bundle out and I stare at it. “Go to a hotel,” he says. “I’ll find a more permanent place for you by tomorrow.”
I smirk at his offer and shake my head, not making a move to take his money. “You own half of everything,” says Riggs. “Take the money.”
I pick up my bag and stare him in the eyes. “No. I don’t need it. I’ll make my own way. I did it before and I’ll do it again.”
“I don’t want the girls to go without,” he snaps. “Now’s not the time to be a martyr.”
I stop, keeping my back to him. “That’s what you think I’m trying to be?” I ask, slowly turning to face him. “I’ve spent my entire life fighting. For me, for my daughter, and now for both my girls. I thought you were the one. I’m not being a martyr by refusing your guilt money. I’m standing on my own two feet for once. I’m taking control of my life and I’m putting myself first. I’ll be in touch about contact with Willow,” I pause, “if you want contact, that is.”
“Of course I want contact with my daughter,” he snaps.
I laugh but it’s without humour. “She’s been right under your roof all this time and you’ve hardly spent any time with her. Don’t have contact because it’s what you think you have to do.”
“I love her,” he mutters.
“It’s just words, Finn,” I mumble. “Empty words.”
Riggs leaves. I’d like to think it’s because he can’t stand to watch me shove my life into bags but I think he just wants to be out of my way. I make quick work of packing up some toys and extra clothes for both girls. The door opens and Eva rushes in. “Is it true?”
I nod, unable to hold the tears back from my best friend. “I’ve been so miserable,” I mutter. “I can’t do it anymore.”
“I’ll come too,” she says, taking my hand.
I shake my head. “No, Cree loves you. You belong here.”
“But you’ll be on your own,” she whispers.
“It’s time for me to stand on my own two feet. No more men,” I say, forcing a smile. “I’m looking forward to the challenge.”
We head downstairs, where Vinn’s waiting. “Your chariot awaits, madam,” he says to me. When it’s clear I have no idea what he’s talking about, he looks to Leia.
“I asked for his help,” she explains. “He’s got houses and stuff.”
“You really don’t need to,” I say to Vinn, and he smiles fondly at Leia.
“You know I can’t say no to her,” he grins. Chains mutters something under his breath. He hates that the mafia kingpin has a soft spot for his ol’ lady.
Riggs takes Willow from Frankie and carries her to his office, snuggling his face against her. It breaks my heart, but there’s no way around it. I can’t leave my girls here and I can’t stay. I kiss Ziggy on the head. “I’ve gotta go away for a while,” I say and he touches my hair. “I’ll speak to Daddy about him letting you stay with us on the weekends and coming for dinner a few nights in the week?” He nods. It isn’t the first time Riggs and I have taken a break, so sadly, he’s used to this, but seeing the sorrow in his eyes hurts my heart. I question myself for the hundredth time, but I know deep down this is the right thing to do.
I wait a few minutes, then go to the office. “We’re leaving,” I say softly. Riggs nods, walking towards me with his face still close to Willow. “I’ll text you the address and we’ll sort
