No matter how much I try to convince myself I don’t care, I hate the way she looks at me. Hate the brush-off and how wet her eyes are. But this is my life. I’m where I am because of how I handle myself. Why change when I’ve been successful, especially after the mutiny erupting at my feet?
I close my eyes and picture how the conversation would go, if I could even figure out where to begin:
“Last night was a mistake. My world is different than yours. You wouldn’t understand and you can’t understand. And as for the sex, it was great. But that’s all it was. Just sex. Nothing more.”
Would she cry? Hit me? Curse at me or spit in my face? I can’t say for sure.
And then another thought occurs to me: have I made an enemy? We’re making our way down the path, faster than last night, and though I can see Annie wincing at every step on her tender feet, she doesn’t stop or slow down. Fury emanates from her.
What if I had left her behind and Gino had gotten ahold of her?
Fuck.
She’s a weakness. Not just a mistake of the past. Not just a temporary flight of fancy, easily fixed and forgotten. She’s seen my home. Heard about my past. She knows me in a way that few do.
And Gino is just the man who would exploit that.
I grind my molars when she turns around a bend and disappears into the trees. The bag on my shoulder shifts when I stomp to follow her. I stoop to readjust the strap, and the burner cell tumbles to the forest floor.
My eyes go wide. Annie found the cell phone so quickly when I dumped the bag out. And she wasn’t afraid the noise could’ve been a snake. Not to mention I don’t remember turning the phone on.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
It must have been her. She turned it on when I was sleeping. She’s been playing me from the very beginning.
I rip the phone from my pocket and scroll through the call history and text messages. Nothing. But she could’ve erased them. She must’ve betrayed me when I was sleeping. My gaze lifts to search for her but she’s gone. How could I have been so stupid to expose myself so badly?
I race off toward the path. God only knows what awaits me at the bottom of the mountain. Maybe a squad of police. Maybe Gino. This whole ‘innocent abductee’ routine could’ve been an act. Gino could’ve orchestrated the whole thing. And Augustin. He was the person who grabbed her, wasn’t he? Or at least, that’s what was reported to me. Was this all a lie?
The bags are weighing me down and catching on every overhang and bush. Every hang-up is costing me time, as Annie hurtles down the mountain ahead of me. She’s getting further and further away.
I growl and continue to race on until I spot her. “Annie!”
She doesn’t stop or turn around. When I’m within arm’s reach, she releases a branch she had been holding out of the way. It arcs back like a whip and smacks me in the cheek, splitting open my skin.
“Fucking hell!” I curse. I can feel the blood trickling down my jaw.
Rage blinds me. I lunge towards Annie. One hand flies up to her throat and lifts her into the air, pinning her against the rock ledge that runs along one side of this flat part of the trail. Dust floats around our feet.
“Did you betray me?” I roar. “Was it you?”
My voice echoes in the empty woods. The only other noise is Annie struggling to breathe. “Nik ... Nikita ... stop! Please ...” Her words are hoarse and faint.
Suddenly, her dancing feet lash out and connect with my groin. I curse again and drop her. She falls into a puddle on the ground, wheezing.
The woods are silent.
“I didn’t do anything,” she says after a while. She isn’t looking at me, or at anything, really. Her eyes a vacant, thousand-yard stare. She’s rubbing her throat. I can see the red imprints of my fingers on her soft skin. “I didn’t know you had a phone. And if I wanted to betray you, I would’ve hiked down the mountain while you were sleeping instead of waiting for you to wake up, you fucking beast.”
I’m still breathing hard. Anger? Shame? It’s hard to say why.
She glares up at me with pure hatred in her eyes. I almost stumble backwards at the sheer force of her gaze. I’ve never seen anyone with such venom in their stare. It’s haunting in a girl like her. She was innocent when I met her. Now ... I’ve made her into something else.
“I just want to go home. I want to graduate and get a job like a normal fucking person,” she says. “I want to forget you ever exist.”
She pushes herself back up to her feet. Her hands ball into fists at her side and her lips press so tight they’re a thin line. “What, you have nothing to say now? After you accused me of betraying you? Like I want to be part of whatever Augustin did. You do know the man smacked me around and kidnapped me, right? I told you that. Oh, but I must be lying because everybody is a liar to you.”
“Shut up,” I whisper.
“Just take me home. I want to go home.”
I’m at a loss for words. She takes one more look at me, then shoves past and continues down the path.
I don’t want to believe her, but I know deep in my bones that she’s telling the truth. She isn’t the type of girl to play the high-stakes game I’ve accused her of. She doesn’t know this world. She doesn’t want to be a part of it. Again and again in her life, she’s been dragged in. Just when she was almost free, I did it to her once more.
Only a moron would’ve
