My hand shot up, and it was around her throat before I knew what I was doing for the second time since I had known her, but this time I was at my full strength. “Don’t you talk about her. Don’t do it.”
I wanted to let go, I wanted to apologize but the anger inside of me was overriding every sense I had.
“Alex!” I heard her whimper through bated breath. Her face turning into a deep shade of red.
She put a hand on my chest, her way of connecting with me. I felt my hand slacken a little.
“Oh my god, what the fuck.” I relaxed my hand a little more and moved closer to her. I didn’t want her to fall when I let go. Instead of falling though like I thought she would, I was the one on the floor. Stars and lights flashing in my head, pain coursing through my body. She had pulled her knee up hard and my cock felt like it was pushed inside my abdomen. Every muscle clenched and it felt like I was being stabbed hundreds of times all over my body.
“If you put your hands on me again in any way I don’t approve of, I will do more than just knee you in the dick. It will be off and in your hand next time. You got me Alex?”
I tried to suck in a good breath but I was curled up tight trying to relieve the pressure in my balls. “Yeah, yeah, got it.” I said out of breath.
She stepped over me and walked out of the room with a slam of my door.
I had only said I loved you and meant it once before. When I said it this time it felt like I meant it too, but I knew that wasn’t the case. It couldn’t be. There will never be another for me besides Laura. I was built for Laura. Made for her. I enjoyed Mikki’s company but I knew that it was the end of my feelings for her.
Ryder knocked on the door, “Prez, you good?” he opened the door to see my naked ass rolling around on the floor.
“Err. Ok.” I heard him trying not to laugh.
“Fuck...you...mother….fucker.” I wheezed out my pain.
“What you do to that woman?” Ryder walked over me and pulled out a pair of shorts for me. He threw them at me while he turned his back so I could put them on.
After a few more minutes of the mind-numbing pain I was able to sit up on my own accord and try to understand what in all the fuck just happened.
“So why did that goddess of a woman just storm out of your room?” Ryder slid down the wall and continued to drink the brew in his hand.
“I have no fucking idea, it doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t have time for the bullshit.” I tried to forget the whole conversation but the cackle from the side of me had my undivided attention. “What the fuck is so funny?”
“You!” He looked at me almost to see if I would start laughing along with him. When I didn’t he stopped laughing himself. “Prez? Alex, are you shitting me right now?” Ryder stood up from where he was sitting, “Brother, I don’t know if you missed the memo but that woman brought you back from the dead. You were five feet in the grave when you left here, just a shadow of your old self and then you show up with her and her little troupe and, bam, it’s like you’re the Prez of old. If for one second you think you don’t need that woman you are still out of your mind.”
“I told her I love her.” I looked up at him then looked away, “You know, while we were fucking.”
He laughed a little, “Damn, that pussy is that good?”
“Ry, it’s fucking magical, I swear the woman is a witch.” I laughed myself, my head hitting the wall behind me. I sobered up slightly, “She was right to be pissed off though, I don’t love her. I’ll never love anyone like I loved Laura. She was my whole soul.”
“Prez, I know I have never had a woman for as long as you were with Laura, so I should be the last one to even offer my thoughts but just hear me out ok?”
I nodded once and waited for him to drop some wisdom on me.
“The Prez that was here when Laura was alive is not the same man that is sitting in front of me today. When Laura was killed you were broken, a part of you died right along with her. I am so sorry for that man, really I am. The man that Mikki found is someone completely different, it might not be the same love you had for Laura but the love you have for Mikki can be just as strong. Loving Mikki doesn’t mean you didn’t or don’t love Laura too.”
I knew what he was saying was true, I felt like I was betraying Laura by loving Mikki. What I felt for Mikki was similar but so different than what I felt for Laura. Either way I knew that I couldn’t lose Mikayla. I did love her. I let Ryder out the door before the tears slid down my cheek. They were cathartic in a way. It finally felt like I was truly letting Laura go. I would always hold a piece of her in my heart, there would be a huge chunk of my soul that I would never be able to reach again but if she was willing to love what I had left, I would be a damn fool to let Mikayla slip out of my life.
Chapter 24
“Church!” I heard Clean call out knocking me out of my depressed state. I opened the door to my
