Incredibly for the first time in a long time I was clear headed. My gut still hurt but the body aches that I was sure I had for the longest time were gone. I was still thinking about going to get a drink or a few Oxy pills but I could breathe without them.
I put both feet on the floor and took a deep breath in, something smelt so good. I looked around the room and for the first time I didn’t see Mikki. There was a small package on the seat next to the bed, it looked like one of the wife beaters that you could buy at the corner store, the ones that were just a little bit off. I opened it and slipped it on, just moving my arms caused the wound in my gut to flare up in pain, but I had felt worse.
I padded to the door letting my nose show me the way. I opened the door and the conversation that was free flowing abruptly came to a halt and the three of them looked at me.
“I was wondering when you were going to get up.” Mikki turned back to the stove and started to stir whatever she was making. My stomach growled loudly. Loud enough that the two girls giggled.
“I’m hungry.” I said as I sat down at the table, not even bothering to greet any of them.
“I have some eggs and sausage here. I think the eggs will be ok for you to eat but the sausage may be a bit too spicy for your stomach to handle right now.”
I rolled my eyes, I wasn’t down with anyone telling me what I could and could not handle. “Just give me the food woman.”
“Ok, if you say so.” She pulled out a paper plate and dumped a huge helping of eggs and sausage on the plate.
“Mister, does your belly still hurt?” The little girl asked as she pushed around some food on her plate.
“Yes. It still hurts Angel.” I responded not really looking at the little girl. I was more concerned with tossing the still steaming eggs in my mouth. This shit was delicious or I was just that hungry. “I’m sorry,” the little girl said and dropped her head down.
“Hey!” I raised my voice, “Don’t you feel sorry for me, I deserved it.” I glared at her for a second until she went back to eating her food.
“You don’t have to be such an asshole about it.” The other girl to the side said. I looked over to her.
“What is your name?” I asked
“Vida, I’m Vida.”
“Ok great, nice to meet you Vida, I’m Alex, the asshole.” I gave her the fakest smile I could muster.
“You’re not very good at it.” Mikki said from where she was standing by the two-burner mini stove.
“What the fuck are you talking about.” I looked over to her.
“Playing the bad guy, you’re not very good at it.” Mikki shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the pan on the stove without giving me a second glance. I looked around the table and could see the two girls trying to stifle their laugh. They were laughing at me. Me! The same man that was going to shoot a liquor store clerk to fuel his need for booze, the same man who order his family into a bloodbath just so I could win a fight even I knew I wasn’t prepared for. Me!
I shook my head and picked up my near empty plate and shoveled the last little bit down. “You don’t know anything.” I tried to get up and leave but my stomach had other plans. Almost immediately after I finished chewing that last bite my stomach began to revolt against the food.
I groaned and pushed back from the table. “Fucking hell.” I walked slowly, my hand wrapped tenderly around my gut. Part of me wanted to curse the woman for letting me eat the food if she knew it was going to have my stomach doing all different types of flips and shit. Isn’t part of that dumbass oath that the doctor’s take say they’d do no fucking harm? I feel harmed. Full but definitely harmed.
“Wait a minute.” Mikki ran up behind me and put her hands out. I turned to take what she was giving me.
“What the hell is this.”
“Senna.”
“Am I supposed to know what that is?”
She rolled her eyes slightly, “It’s a laxative.”
“No, get the fuck out of here with that shit.” I tried to give the small brown pills back to her. “I don’t need that shit.”
“What the hell Alex, learn to accept that you don’t know everything.” She pushed my hand back to my body, “You have been on strong pain medication since you got here over 3 days ago. You just shoveled very rich food into your system that is going to want to come out sooner than later. You are going to be bound up. The laxatives are to help you shit easier or would you rather be so constipated that you push your own intestines out the still healing wound in your abdomen. Your choice.” She put her hand out to take the pills if I was stupid enough to give them back.
“That’s not possible, I couldn’t push my own intestines out.”
“Doctor here, remember?” She raised her hands timidly. “Just take them ok, please.”
I looked down at her and could see that there was no ulterior motive or uncertainty in her eyes, she knew what the fuck she was talking about. I popped the pills in my mouth so fast I didn’t even wait for her to give me any water.
“Brute.” Vida said from the table as she watched me turn to walk back to the room.
I couldn’t help but smile. I sucked in a breath as soon as I realized what I was doing. A lone tear fell from my eye. I shouldn’t be smiling; I didn’t deserve happiness. I didn’t deserve help. Those things should be reserved for
