Surely a wedding should just be about me and the groom, right? Wrong, it’s about everyone else. Trying to please them, paying out for them. In hindsight we should have just gone abroad. I suppose we still could as only paid a deposit. Don’t tempt me! The other thing we had to sort out was food. We were given a large menu by the venue with loads of different packages on. There were ones for drinks, canapes, children and for the wedding breakfast. I have always wondered why it’s called a wedding breakfast as you don’t get a full English and it’s not usually in the morning when you would normally have breakfast, but the name is claimed to have come from pre-reformation times, when the wedding service was usually held after mass and the bride and groom would have had to fast before that, so after the ceremony the priest would hand out food and drink that he had blessed.
So, would we go for food that we liked or try to order something that everyone would find appealing? I had been to a few weddings and had a three course sit down meal that I had slated. I hadn’t realized how much the newlyweds had to pay for it. So I knew my guests would probably feel the same. We also had to cater for vegans, vegetarians and gluten free.
Anyone who has already planned a wedding, I salute you as it is a lot harder that it looks. I was very lucky to have a super organised groom, and since booking the venue he had practically sorted out all the main things, even done a spreadsheet of deposits we had paid, what was outstanding and when we needed to pay it. I was useless when it came to these sorts of things, let’s put it this way: I didn’t pay the bills, change energy suppliers, sort out insurance etcetera. I’m sure my partner loves having that responsibility. I was involved, mind you. I was in control of the more girlie things like hair, makeup, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, centre pieces. You get my drift. I don’t know about you, but as soon as you mention the word wedding the price triples. It’s ludicrous that on a normal day you could order a bouquet for thirty pounds but this same bouquet on your wedding day was a hundred pounds plus. Did they use super flowers that never died? No, they didn’t, it was because you mentioned the W word. It wasn’t not just florists; it was venues, food and entertainment. I did wonder how anyone afforded to get married these days, but I knew of course people did, but at what cost?
I sometimes wished I had been born in a different era where there wasn’t all this pressure and you had limited choices—get married in a church or registry office—and you had the reception at your mum and dad’s house or a hall. Well, that’s how it was in my family anyway. My mum got married at twenty-three, wore a second-hand wedding dress, got married in a beautiful little church and then had a reception at my nan and grandad’s house. They even had a make shift bar in the garden. What more could you want?
Looking back at photographs it looked perfect, but I felt like it was more a competition now to see who could have the most extravagant wedding and spend the most money, because it was obvious that was what made a good wedding. Of course, you wanted your wedding to stand out and be original, but it didn’t have to cost a fortune. I thought about Spence and how he had used all of his savings to pay for the dream wedding that Sarah wanted and look at them now; they were having problems. At the end of the day, it was one day. Think how quickly one day goes; whether you spent thousands of pounds or you didn’t, the outcome would still be the same: you would be married to the person you loved—or in my case want to annoy—for the rest of your life. Did you really want to start married life in debt, unless you have savings? But wouldn’t you rather put a deposit on a house if you didn’t own one already, or buy a new car, or even have an amazing honeymoon? That was what it came down to, I suppose, personal preference. On the other hand, you could look at it that you were only going to do this once so go all out, fireworks the lot. Anyway, these were just a few thoughts going through my head now. My indecisiveness had increased, and I changed my mind from one day to the next. I had bride brain, if that was a thing. I hoped this would be my debt free journey to I do.
Having a wedding had made me realise I didn’t have a lot of real friends. I had work colleagues, but I wouldn’t class them as friends as such, maybe one or two, but there were not people I really spoke to outside of work. Sure, I said the whole “hi, how are you” when
