12 Months to ' I Do '

I realised that marriage was not perfect. My mum and dad were married and now divorced, and so many school friends’ parents had separated. It just seemed the norm. This was around the millennium when divorce rates were very high and they had actually got better since. When I started going out clubbing, in my day that’s what it was called, you could always spot a married man. That would be the first thing I would look at, even before their face, and found that men, even with rings on their finger, they would still try and chat you up. Not trustworthy at all. But it was only reading an article recently that I found out that the Romans believed that the vein in the ring finger ran directly to your heart. Who knew? I can’t believe I had never asked why this was the case before. I just accepted it as this was the way it was. It got me to thinking about other things in my life that I had just accepted but never knew why.

I also found out that the reason you wear your wedding ring underneath your engagement ring traditionally is because it is closer to your heart.

I always had an image in mind of what wedding ring I would like, something glitzy; diamonds or cubic zirconia, I didn’t mind. What I did know is I didn’t want a straight band, as the diamond on my engagement ring was a cluster of diamonds that looked like a flower, so I didn’t think it would sit right. Edward knew what he wanted too, palladium. I’d never heard of it, it sounded to me like something made up or like kryptonite, but when he showed me it just looked silver.

We decided to go along to some jewellers and try a few on. We didn’t really have a budget as such but ones I had seen online were about two hundred pounds, so I was thinking for the two about five hundred pounds. So, two hours later, we were over a grand lighter and I had lost my engagement ring. Advice to anyone going wedding ring shopping, make sure you clean your engagement ring first as it looks disgusting up against bright shiny new rings, so much so mine was cleaned in the shop, but still needed recoating. Who knew that every eighteen months to two years you should get your ring recoated? I didn’t so that had been sent off too. I felt lost without it. Kept checking my finger and panicking and then I remembered they also said that the best thing to do is start wearing it again after I got married, so they would both wear the same. So, ladies and gents, I am single for the next few weeks, lol. Six weeks to go and counting.

Now before when I originally brought my wedding dress, I thought I would be able to easily sell it if needed, but again the reality hasn’t been as straight forward. I have taken lots of photos of the dress, but none do the dress justice. I had put it on a few online selling sites, but no one has even messaged me about it. I have even put it on there for a cheap price, I thought. Not only that, I have to get a new dress to wear to my Vegas wedding. I ordered a couple of dresses online, but both turned up and looked disgusting.

The first one was petite but long, made of lace and nude in colour, with load of sequins sewn into it; beautiful but not so nice on. Not only was it too big—and it was a size ten, I actually jumped for joy—it just didn’t sit right. The back had a zip and instead of sitting flat it was all bumpy and looked like I had huge lumps coming out of my back and it was so long—and it was supposed to be petite—I would have still needed it taken up, even with heels.

The second dress was different, and I ordered an eight. I figured well, if the last dress, a ten was too big, I would aim for something smaller. But this was too small. It was lace again, white, strapless with a fishtail, but shorter in the front, but the boob parts were tiny. There was no way my boobs were going to fit in there. I had rather large breasts and I hated them. Clothes just didn’t look nice on me. I always had to wear a bra. I didn’t wear low cut tops as think people would think I was some kind of slut, getting my tits out, whereas if someone flat chested wore the same top, no one would say anything. I had thought about having a reduction but just never done it I would have loved for my boobs to be the same size too. My right one was a lot bigger, so wearing no bra for me was not an option. I think I just kept this out of my mind when ordering dresses, hoping that they would be gone.

Well, third time lucky. I have ordered another one; hopefully this will look nice. The problem is, until I have the dress, it’s hard to order accessories and shoes. You may be thinking why I don’t just go and try dresses on like a normal person in shops.

Third time lucky dress was better but it turned up blue and I was sure I ordered white. It was pretty still and ninety percent better than the other two and had a built-in bra. It was lace again, but long with a slight train to it. It looked stunning on the model, but then they always do, don’t they? You wouldn’t order it if there was a picture of me wearing it, but that was the problem. I had been going for dresses that would not suit a short person. Another