such expectations had been formed. I scarcely spoke ten
words to her throughout the course of the day, and when
I was unfortunately left alone with her for half an hour,
I applied myself to my book and did not look up once.
Sunday 17th November
We all attended morning service, and then the Miss Bennets took their leave.
‘Dear Jane, the only thing that can resign me to your
leaving is the knowledge that you are well at last,’ said
Caroline, taking an affectionate leave of her friend.
‘I am a selfish man. If it were not for the fact that you
had suffered, I would almost have been glad that you had
a cold,’ said Bingley warmly, clasping Jane’s hand. ‘It has
allowed me to be with you every day for almost a week.’
He, at least, has made her stay agreeable, and has taken the
trouble to entertain her whenever she was downstairs. It
is easy to see why Bingley has made her his flirt. She has
a sweetness and openness of manner that makes her
agreeable, whilst her feelings are not the sort to be deeply
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touched. No matter how charming or lively Bingley is,
he need have no fear of his intentions being misunderstood.
‘And Miss Eliza Bennet,’ said Caroline, with a wide
smile. ‘It has been so…charming to have you here.’
Elizabeth noticed the hesitation and her eyes sparkled
with mirth. She replied politely enough, however.
‘Miss Bingley. It has been good of you to have me
here.’
To Bingley, she gave a warmer farewell.
‘Thank you for all you have done for Jane,’ she said.‘It
made a great difference to me to see that she was so well
cared for. Nothing could have been kinder than your
banking up of the fires, or your moving of screens to prevent draughts, or your instructing your housekeeper to
make some tasty dishes to tempt Jane to eat.’
‘I was only sorry I could not do more,’ he said.‘I hope
we will soon see you at Netherfield again.’
‘I hope so, too.’
She turned to me.
‘Miss Bennet,’ I said, making her a cold bow.
She looked surprised for a moment, then a smile
appeared in her eyes, and she dropped me a curtsy, replying in stately tones: ‘Mr Darcy.’
She almost tempted me to smile. But I schooled my
countenance into an expression of severity and turned
away.
The party then broke up. Bingley escorted the two
young ladies to the carriage and helped them inside. My
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coldness had not damped Elizabeth’s spirits for one
minute. I was glad of it – before reminding myself that
Elizabeth’s spirits were not my concern.
We returned to the drawing-room.
‘Well!’ said Caroline. ‘They have gone.’
I made no reply.
She turned to Louisa and immediately began talking
of household matters, forgetting all about her supposed
friend.
As I write this, I find I am glad that Elizabeth has
gone. Now, perhaps I can think of her as Miss Elizabeth
Bennet again. I mean to indulge in more rational
thoughts, and I will not have to suffer any more of Caroline’s teasing.
Monday 18th November
At last, a rational day. Bingley and I examined the south
corner of his land. He seems interested in purchasing the
estate, and says he is ready to settle. However, he has not
been here very long and I shall not believe his intentions
are fixed until he has spent a winter here. If he likes it
after that, I believe it might be the place for him.
Caroline was charming this evening. Without Miss
Elizabeth Bennet in the house she did not tease me, and
we passed a pleasant evening playing at cards. I did not
miss Elizabeth at all. I believe I scarcely thought of her
half a dozen times all day.
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Tuesday 19th November
‘I think we should ride round the rest of the estate today,’
I said to Bingley this morning.
‘Later, perhaps,’ he said. ‘I mean to ride over to Longbourn this morning to ask after Miss Bennet’s health.’
‘You saw her only the day before yesterday,’ I
remarked with a smile; Bingley in the grip of one of his
flirtations is most amusing.
‘Which means I did not see her yesterday. It is time I
made up for my neglect!’ he replied, matching my tone.
‘Will you come with me?’
‘Very well,’ I said.
A moment later I regretted it, but I was then annoyed
with myself for my cowardice. I can surely sit with Miss
Elizabeth Bennet for ten minutes without falling prey to
a certain attraction, and besides, there is no certainty that
I will see her. She might very well be from home.
We rode out after breakfast. Our way took us through
Meryton, and we saw the object of our ride in the main
street. Miss Bennet was taking the air with her sisters. On
hearing our horses’ hoofs she looked up.
‘I was riding over to see how you did, but I can see
you are much better. I am glad of it,’ said Bingley, touching his hat.
‘Thank you,’ she said, with a charming, easy smile.
‘You have lost your paleness, and have some colour in
your cheeks.’
‘The fresh air has done me good,’ she said.
‘You walked into Meryton?’ he asked.
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‘Yes.’
‘You have not tired yourself, I hope?’ he added with a
frown.
‘No, thank you, the exercise was beneficial. I have
spent so much time indoors that I am glad to be outside
again.’
‘My feelings are exactly the same. If ever I am ill, I
cannot wait to be out of doors as soon as I am well
enough.’
Whilst they went on in this manner, with Bingley
looking as happy as though Miss Bennet had escaped the
clutches of typhus rather than a trifling cold, I studiously
avoided looking at Elizabeth. I let my eyes drift over the
rest of the group instead. I saw the three younger Bennet
girls, one of them carrying a book of sermons and the
other two giggling together, and a heavy young man
whom I had
