I declined.
‘There are only two reasons why you would wish to
walk together, and my presence would interfere with
both,’ I said.
My smile was not directed at Caroline, but at Elizabeth.
‘What can you mean?’ asked Caroline, amazed. ‘Miss
Eliza Bennet, do you know?’
‘Not at all,’ was her answer. ‘But depend upon it, he
means to be severe on us, and our surest way of disappointing him, will be to ask nothing about it.’
I felt my blood stir. She was fencing with me, even
though she was speaking to Caroline, and I was enjoying
the experience.
Caroline, however, could not fence. Caroline could
only say:‘I must know what he means. Come, Mr Darcy,
explain yourself.’
‘Very well. You are either in each other’s confidence
and have secret affairs to discuss, or you are conscious
that your figures appear to the greatest advantage in
walking; if the first, I should be completely in your way;
and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit
by the fire.’
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‘Oh, shocking!’ exclaimed Caroline. ‘How shall we
punish him for such a speech?’
‘Nothing so easy, if you have but the inclination,’ said
Elizabeth with a gleam in her eye. ‘Tease him – laugh at
him. Intimate as you are, you must know how it is to be
done.’
‘Tease calmness of temper and presence of mind! And
as to laughter, we will not expose ourselves, if you please,
by attempting to laugh without a subject. Mr Darcy may
hug himself.’
‘Mr Darcy is not to be laughed at!’ cried Elizabeth.
‘That is an uncommon advantage. I dearly love a laugh.’
And so do I. But I do not like to be laughed at. I could
not say so, however.
‘Miss Bingley has given me credit for more than can
be,’ I said.‘The wisest of men may be rendered ridiculous
by a person whose first object in life is a joke.’
‘I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good,’ she
returned. ‘Follies and nonsense do divert me, but these, I
suppose, are precisely what you are without.’
‘Perhaps that is not possible for anyone. But it has
been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses
which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule.’
‘Such as vanity and pride.’
‘Vanity, yes. But where there is a real superiority of
mind, pride will always be under good regulation,’ I said.
Elizabeth turned away to hide a smile.
I did not know why it should be, but her smile hurt
me. I believe it made me short-tempered, for when she
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said: ‘Mr Darcy has no defect. He owns it himself without disguise,’ I was stung to reply: ‘I have faults enough,
but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I
dare not vouch for. It would perhaps be called resentful.
My good opinion once lost is lost for ever.’
As I spoke, I thought of George Wickham.
‘That is a failing indeed,’ said Elizabeth. ‘Implacable
resentment is a shade in a character. But you have chosen your fault well. I really cannot laugh at it.You are safe
from me.’
But I am not safe from you, I thought.
‘Do let us have a little music,’ said Caroline, tired of
having no part in the conversation.
The pianoforte was opened, and she begged Elizabeth
to play.
I was annoyed with her at the time, but after a few
minutes I began to be glad of it.
I am paying Elizabeth far too much attention. She
beguiles me. And yet it would be folly to find myself
falling in love with her. I mean to marry quite a different sort of woman, one whose fortune and ancestry
match my own. I will pay Elizabeth no more attention.
Saturday 16th November
Bingley and I rode to the east this morning and examined
more of the estate. He was pleased with everything he saw
and pronounced it all capital. I pointed out that the fences
were broken and the land needed draining, but he said
only:‘Yes, I suppose it does.’ I know he has an easy nature,
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but there was something more than his usual compliance
in his manner. I suspected he was not really paying attention, but was worried about Miss Bennet. It is unfortunate that she should have been taken ill whilst visiting his
sisters. It has set the household by the ears. It has also
brought me too much into contact with Elizabeth.
True to my resolve, I paid Elizabeth no notice when
she walked into the drawing-room with her sister later
this morning, when Bingley and I had returned from our
ride. After greetings had been exchanged, Miss Bennet
begged the loan of Bingley’s carriage.
‘My mother cannot spare our carriage until Tuesday,
but I am much recovered and we cannot trespass on your
hospitality any longer,’ she said.
I felt a mixture of emotions: relief that Elizabeth
would soon be removing from Netherfield, and regret
that I would not be able to talk to her any longer.
Bingley did not share Miss Bennet’s view.
‘It is too soon!’ he cried.‘You might seem better when
you are sitting by the fire, but you are not yet well
enough to withstand the journey. Caroline, tell Miss
Bennet that she must stay.’
‘Dear Jane, of course you must stay,’ said Caroline. I
detected a coolness in her voice, and was not surprised
when she added: ‘We cannot think of letting you leave
before tomorrow.’
A stay of more than one extra day did not please her.
Bingley looked surprised, but Miss Bennet agreed to
this suggestion.
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‘Even tomorrow is far too soon,’ protested Bingley.
‘It is very kind of you, but we really must leave then,’
said Miss Bennet.
She is a sweet girl but she can also be firm, and nothing Bingley could say would shake her resolve.
I was conscious of a need to be on my guard during
this last day. I had paid Elizabeth too much attention during her stay, and I was belatedly aware that it could have
given rise to expectations. I
