picture, you must not attempt to have it taken, for what
painter could do justice to those beautiful eyes?’ she said
in a droll voice.
I ignored her drollery, and imagined a portrait of Elizabeth hanging at Pemberley. I imagined another portrait
hanging next to it, of Elizabeth and myself.The thought
was pleasing to me and I smiled.
‘It would not be easy, indeed, to catch their expression, but their colour and shape, and the eyelashes, so
remarkably fine, might be copied,’ I mused.
Caroline was not pleased, and I found that I was glad
to have vexed her. She was about to reply, when we were
mr darcy_internals 1/30/07 4:06 PM Page 66
6 6
A M A N D A G R A N G E
met from another walk by Louisa and Elizabeth herself.
Caroline was embarrassed, and well she might be. I,
too, was uncomfortable. I did not think Elizabeth had
overheard Caroline, but even if she had, it would not have
disturbed her. She had not been perturbed when she had
heard an uncharitable remark from me at the assembly.
As I looked at her, I was suddenly conscious of the
fact that she was a guest in the house. I had been so busy
thinking of her in another way that I had forgotten that
she was staying with Bingley. I felt an uncomfortable
pang as I realized that she had not met with any warmth
or friendship during her stay. To be sure, she had met
with politeness to her face, but even politeness had been
lacking as soon as her back was turned. I had never felt
so out of sympathy with Caroline…or in sympathy with
Louisa, for she at least had taken the trouble to ask Elizabeth if she cared for a walk, which I had not. I berated
myself for it. I was not averse to admiring her eyes, but I
had done little to make her stay at Netherfield more
enjoyable.
Louisa’s next words undid my charitable feelings
towards her, however. Saying: ‘You used us abominably ill
in running away without telling us that you were coming
out,’ she took my free arm and left Elizabeth to stand alone.
I was mortified, and said at once:‘The walk is not wide
enough for our party.We had better go into the avenue.’
But Elizabeth, who was not in the least mortified at
being used so ill, merely smiled mischievously and said
that we looked so well together the group would be
mr darcy_internals 1/30/07 4:06 PM Page 67
M r . D a r c y ’ s D i a r y 6 7
spoilt by a fourth. Then wishing us goodbye she ran off
gaily, like a child who suddenly finds herself free of the
schoolroom. As I watched her run, I felt my spirits lift. I
felt as though I, too, was suddenly free, free of the trammelled dignity of my life, and I longed to run after her.
‘Miss Eliza Bennet behaves as badly as her younger
sisters,’ said Caroline mockingly.
‘She does not behave as badly as we do, however,’ I
returned, annoyed.‘She is a guest in your brother’s house,
and as such she is entitled to our respect. She should not
have to suffer our neglect, nor suffer our abuse the
minute her back is turned.’
Caroline looked astonished and then displeased, but
my expression was so forbidding that she fell silent. Bingley might complain about my awful expressions, but
they have their uses.
I turned back to look at Elizabeth, but she had already
passed out of sight. I did not see her again until dinnertime. She disappeared immediately afterwards, to see to
her sister, but when Bingley and I joined the ladies in the
drawing-room we found her with them.
Caroline’s eyes turned to me straight away. I could see
that she was apprehensive. I had spoken to her sharply
earlier in the day, and had not said a word to her since. I
gave her a cool glance and then turned my attention to
Miss Bennet, who was well enough to be downstairs, and
who was sitting next to her sister.
Bingley was delighted to see that Miss Bennet was
feeling better. He fussed around her, making sure the fire
mr darcy_internals 1/30/07 4:06 PM Page 68
6 8
A M A N D A G R A N G E
was high enough and that she was not in a draught. My
expression softened. I could feel it doing so. He was
treating her with all the care and attention she deserved,
and I was reminded of why I like him so much and am
happy to call him a friend. His manners might be so
easy-going as to make him a target for anyone who
wishes to sway him, but those same compliant manners
make him an agreeable companion and a warm host. It
was evident that Elizabeth thought so, too. I felt that, after
our sparring, we had found common ground.
Caroline pretended to pay attention to the invalid, but
in fact was more interested in my book, which I had
taken up when we had decided not to play cards.
‘I declare there is no enjoyment like reading a book!’
she said, ignoring her own in favour of mine.
I did not reply. I was out of sympathy with her. Instead,
I studiously applied myself to my book; which was a pity,
as I would have liked to watch Elizabeth. The firelight
playing on her skin was a sight I found mesmerizing.
Discovering that she could not make me talk, Caroline then disturbed her brother with talk of his ball,
before taking a turn around the room. She was restless,
and longing for attention. I, however, did not give it to
her. She had offended me, and I was not ready to forgive
her her offence.
‘Miss Eliza Bennet, let me persuade you to follow my
example, and take a turn about the room.’
I could not help myself. I looked up. I saw a look of
surprise cross Elizabeth’s face, and I wondered if my
mr darcy_internals 1/30/07 4:06 PM Page 69
M r . D a r c y ’ s D i a r y 6 9
words to Caroline had affected her behaviour, pricking
her conscience about her treatment of her brother’s guest.
But no such thing. She simply wanted my attention, and
she had been clever enough to realize that this was the
way to achieve it. Unconsciously, I closed my book.
‘Mr Darcy, will
