“He loves you? Again, why would he tell you that unless it was true?” she asked. “Or if he was a sociopath which nothing you’ve said makes it sound like he’s a sociopath. ” I was really getting tired of hearing the same question over and over. “He didn’t need to. You already let him fingerbang you in the car. You already let him slither his snake into your secret garden.”
We both burst out into a fit of laughter. The fact that she’d put it that way was ridiculous and probably intended. She wanted to get me out of my own head, most likely.
“You’re so gross,” I said. We laughed even more. “But you’re also right. I don’t know why it freaked me out so badly.”
“Because you love him.” It was like I should’ve already known the answer. “You love him and you don’t want him to hurt you. You’ve seen me have my heart crushed and know it’s not fun. That’s the best answer I’ve got. The only answer.”
“Yeah. You’re right. I’m dumb.”
“You’re not dumb, but you do need to talk to him.”
“I know.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”
I didn’t call him right away because we were watching the movie and I didn’t want to be the girl who abandons her friends, or in this case, sister, because of a guy.
He also didn’t message me again.
After I’d dragged my sorry behind back upstairs, I finally pressed his name on my phone. It wasn’t until it went to voicemail that I glanced at the time.
Shoot. He’d probably be on stage right when I’d decided to call.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you before you were on stage tonight,” I told him without a greeting and without telling him who it was. He’d know because of caller ID, but he should’ve known my voice anyway. “I fell asleep right away last night and didn’t hear my phone. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t purposely not respond today. I was hanging out with Delaney, talking, and doing a lot of thinking, but I’m ready to talk to you now.” I took a deep breath. “I’m exhausted, so if you call tonight and I don’t answer, I’m sorry for that too. I have to be into work early tomorrow in hopes of talking to the station manager about a change in my internship, so if you call and I don’t answer, that’s why.” I took another breath. Saying this shouldn’t have caused so much nervousness as I’d already said it. “I love you, Bonham.”
And that was it.
I then fell asleep before he had a chance to respond, but there was a voicemail waiting for me when I woke up.
“I kind of hate that we have such different schedules,” he told me. His voice covered me like a blanket, making me warm and comfortable. “Damn, Jurnie, I miss talking to you. Seeing your face on my phone. More than that, I already miss being able to touch you. I hope you sleep well tonight and we’ll sync up tomorrow for sure. I don’t care if I have to miss the fucking show tomorrow. We’re talking. I love you, baby, and we’re figuring this out.”
His words made me feel a little better. I’d had boyfriends in the past, but none as intense as this. I’d never loved any of them and the relationships had been very middle school. We’d held hands. We’d kissed. That had been it. And they’d come to a natural end. Those guys had wanted things I hadn’t been ready to give. It didn’t make them bad people. We just hadn’t been on the same page and there’d been no hard feelings when it had been over.
I hadn’t even been sad about any of those relationships ending.
Yet the mere idea of not being with Bonham had my heart cracked and starting to break.
I’d do everything in my power to make sure this didn’t happen again.
30
Bonham
Hearing Jurnie’s voice tell me that she was ready to talk created both relief and nervousness I hadn’t felt in a long ass time. I’d been worried that she’d take too long deciding what she wanted out of this, but now that she had and I didn’t know what that was, my stomach was in tight knots.
“Heard from Jurnie yet?” Daltrey asked just after the bus hit a particularly nasty pothole. It didn’t happen often because the bus was so big, we barely felt anything. We’d just left the latest venue.
“Yeah. She left a message. She’s ready to talk.”
He shook his head. “This is why none of us should even consider being in a relationship while on this tour. It’s our first one and you’re all tied up over some woman.”
I shrugged. “Not a lot I can do about that. I found her when I found her.”
“I guess.” He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and dropped onto the couch. “But fuck… I’m not going to go looking.”
After chuckling, I reminded him, “I didn’t go looking. She found me.”
“Right, right.” He took a long drink. “So now what? What’d you decide?”
“She left a message. We haven’t talked yet.” A crazy idea had been brewing in the back of my head. This talk we were supposed to have wasn’t one I wanted to do over the phone. “I have a crazy fucking idea and I’m not sure Mack is going to like it.”
Daltrey grinned. “Let’s find out. Mack!”
Our oldest brother came out of the bedroom and didn’t stop until he dropped into the chair across from us. “What’s up?”
“Bonham has a crazy idea he doesn’t think you’re going to like.”
Mack scrubbed his hand over his face. “Fucking perfect. What is it?”
“I want to fly to Detroit.”
“The fuck? You have a show, Bonham.”
“Yeah, I know. I was thinking I could fly out as soon as we’re somewhere with an airport and fly back before the show. They can
