I waited until it was much later, around the time that I saw her at the bar the previous night. Technically, that would have improved my chances of seeing her again. Not that I knew which days she worked at the bar, or at what time. That was if she even worked at the bar anymore.
I waited outside for a while, watching the entrance to see if she’d go in or leave. But Rosalie was nowhere to be seen, and the longer I waited the longer it fucked with my head.
Being back at the place where I last had her charged me up. I grew more anxious to see her again.
Eventually, I walked in.
Like the previous night, the bar was thronged with people. It took me a while to orient myself and clock all the waitresses who worked there. None of them were Rosalie. It seemed like she was not on shift that night. I grumbled angrily under my breath as I walked around the place, pushing through the crowds of drunken people in my search for her.
At least security hadn’t approached me yet or tried to kick me out. I was fully prepared to put up a fight if that happened. After I’d scoured the place and determined she wasn’t there, I went up to the counter.
The guy from the previous night, one of them who had pulled me out of the brawl—was making drinks. It was likely that he was a manager or something. He appeared to be pretty full of himself.
“Where’s Rosalie?” I asked him, pushing my way to the front.
He ignored me for a few moments before looking up at me.
“What are you even doing back here, man?” he said, shaking his head.
“Isn’t it pretty obvious? Looking for her,” I replied.
“She’s not here, and even if she was, fat chance I’d take you to her. She was supposed to be working last night, instead of running after you like you’re some fuckin’ knight in shining armor.” The man sounded resentful and he started to get on my nerves.
I jumped over the counter and grabbed his collar. The drinks he was making fell out of his hands, spilling everywhere.
“Hey man! What the fuck?” he shouted. I pulled him over the counter closer to me.
“Don’t make me go over there, asshole. Just give me her address and I’ll walk out of here. With any luck, you’ll never have to see me again.”
“Okay. Okay! Jesus. Just let go of me and I’ll go look up her address!” he shouted over the music.
I gave him a long threatening glare before releasing his collar. He looked genuinely afraid and scurried off to the back to look for Rosalie’s details.
Honestly, I didn’t expect it to be this easy.
I made a note to let her know when I found her how unreliable her employer was.
Nine
Rosalie
Because I didn’t have the night-shift at the bar, it meant that I was able to put Davey to bed. He had spent the afternoon and evening with my mom who collected him from kindergarten.
So after my shift at the diner, I had approximately forty-five minutes of awake-time to spend with him before I had to get him ready for bed. I was probably way more exhausted than he was. I’d been up since early in the morning and I barely slept the previous night.
I’d already wasted too much time thinking about Brendan when I should have focused that time on my son.
I wished I had more hours in the day for him. Time was slipping past us—Davey was growing up quickly. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he was all grown up and wouldn’t have time for me.
Was I going to regret not being able to spend as much time with him as I wanted? Would I regret juggling two jobs?
But how else was I supposed to keep us afloat?
Davey picked out a story for us to read and I settled in bed with him and we read the book together. He was pretty smart for a three-year old and I couldn’t have been more proud of him.
After we were done with the book, I stroked his hair gently while he told me about his day.
“I missed you, Mommy,” he said, just before he slipped into sleep.
I kissed his forehead and held back the tears.
“I missed you too, honey, and I promise we’ll do something fun on Sunday, okay?”
He nodded with a smile and closed his eyes. I waited a few more minutes until he was fast asleep and then I crept out of the room.
I cleaned up the apartment, then changed into an old pair of shorts and t-shirt. Even though I was about ready to go to sleep myself, I couldn’t because I had things to do.
All the bills I needed to look at and pay were collected in a plastic bag I kept under the sink in the kitchen. I hated looking at that bag and tried not to think about it the rest of the month. However, now the time had come when I had to sort it out for the month.
Bills needed to be paid and I wasn’t certain I had enough to pay them with.
I took the bag to the couch and sat down with a sigh. I took one bill out and then the next, spreading them all out on the coffee table. I could feel my stomach sinking as I stared at all the papers around me.
It felt like a disaster. My life felt like a disaster.
“How am I going to do this,” I murmured to myself. This happened every month. I was always brought close to tears by those damned bills.
The knock on the door saved me from ugly-crying.
Even though I wasn’t expecting anyone and didn’t know who it could have been, I was excited to go to the door just to get away from my responsibilities for a moment.
When I opened the door and saw Brendan standing
