I helped him change and then I changed too.
We sat together at the kitchen table to eat our eggs and toast. Davey seemed to have forgotten all about the previous night. He didn’t ask me any questions about Brendan and didn’t seem to remember his nightmare either.
I wanted it to stay that way.
I never slept around—as a rule. I had made this decision a long time ago, around the time that Davey was born. I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes my mother did. I didn’t want to confuse Davey by introducing men into his life…only to have them walk out of his life again.
I had grown up feeling abandoned by my father, and then feeling miserable and unloved by the men my mother chose to have relationships with. Even though I’d forgiven my mother for the mistakes she made, I knew I would never forgive myself if I made the same ones around Davey.
Brendan was the first man my son had seen in our apartment, and I didn’t want that to happen again.
I regretted everything.
I shouldn’t even have let him into the apartment. And then I lost control and…and got intimate with him! What if Davey had woken up ten minutes sooner? I shuddered at the thought of that.
When Brendan saw a kid in my apartment, he left pretty quickly. It was all the convincing he needed to leave me alone. Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe Davey waking up was exactly what I needed to rid myself of Brendan Doherty’s magic spell.
I dropped Davey off and watched him hopping away with his friends. He looked happy and content, throwing excited looks over his shoulder at me and waving. I waved back, waiting until the last moment to leave—after he was safely inside the building.
I missed him already. I missed him all the time when we were apart. I wished every day that we would get more time together. That I wouldn’t have to spend so much time away from him. But I had no other choice.
And now I was doubly convinced that I wasn’t going to waste the little free time I did have—on Brendan or any other man. There was no space for anyone else in my life.
I made my way in the direction of the diner. It wasn’t too far from Davey’s kindergarten and I was going to walk there to save some money.
My head was filled with thoughts—of confusion, guilt and anger.
I still couldn’t believe Brendan had shown up at my apartment. I didn’t know if I would ever forgive Rocky for giving him my address. Even worse was the fact that I had been too weak to resist him. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I had thrown myself at him, with the excuse that I was giving him what he wanted to make him go away.
That was a lie. I wanted it as much as he did. Maybe even more than him. As much as I wanted him to disappear from my life, I couldn’t get enough of him.
Because I was so muddled with thoughts, I hadn’t noticed the man following me until I was halfway to the diner.
I suddenly became aware of his presence when I turned a corner sharply and he pushed through the crowd on the sidewalk to keep up with me. I turned to look and caught him staring directly at me. He ducked away sheepishly but I was sure he’d been watching me. Following me.
A shiver ran down my spine.
Seriously?
Was Brendan Doherty going to go so far as to send some guy to follow me around?
I had never actually found out what he did for a living…or what his family had been involved in. Petra didn’t know enough to fill me in and I had been so desperate to forget about him after that night at the house party— that I never dug around. But the impression I got was that the Dohertys were involved in shady business that I was better off not knowing about.
It was a major part of his attraction and star-like quality. Girls wanted him because he was a real-life ultimate bad boy.
I didn’t think he would actually be capable of this…even after what happened the previous night. He was having me followed!
I continued on my way to the diner, looking over my shoulder from time to time to make sure I wasn’t still being followed. Even though I didn’t see the guy again, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I was being watched.
I walked into the diner hyperaware of my surroundings. New York was New York. Busy, loud and full of unfriendly people. It was the only home I knew. And being born and raised in this city, I was also aware of the fact that the man I thought was following me could have just been some weirdo who wanted a closer look at me. New York was full of strangers and strange people.
I tried to take my mind off it when I went to work. I would have to get through the next six hours smiling and being polite. At this job too—the best way for me to make some extra cash in tips was by following the motto that the customer was always right.
I didn’t look forward to the rest of my day.
Jim, my boss at the diner, stopped me in the staff room at the back. I’d just changed into the sickly-yellow uniform all the waitresses were required to wear. I was worried he would tell me off for being late again.
I just couldn’t catch a break these days. I always ran late.
“I wanted to talk to you, Rosalie, do you have a minute?” he asked.
At least Jim wasn’t as big a dick as Rocky, so I could breathe
