“If this is about the time, I’m sorry Jim. I had to drop my kid off and we just had a late start this morning…” I was already talking too fast and he raised a hand to stop me from going on.
“Yeah, whatever, it’s fine. Just try and make it on time. No, this is about something else,” he said.
I stared at him, worried. It didn’t sound like he was going to deliver good news.
“We’re cutting your hours, Rosalie,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
“You know the business has taken a hit. We’re just not being able to keep up with all the hipster burger joints cropping up around here. We’re not sure how long we can keep ourselves afloat. We need to make some serious changes around here. I’m sure you understand, huh?” He looked genuinely disturbed and I didn’t have the heart to rant at him.
Besides, it wasn’t like I’d be able to change his mind. It wasn’t in his hands.
My throat had gone dry. Less hours meant significantly less pay, which meant I didn’t know how I was going to pay all our bills the next month.
I gulped and nodded, somehow finding my voice to respond to him.
“Don’t worry about it, Jim. I do understand,” I said, walking away.
I tried my best to keep my hands from shaking. Not too long ago, I had such big dreams. How had my life come to this now?
Twelve
Brendan
I had been sleeping but I woke up in bed with a start.. When I sat up, almost teetering on the edge of the bed, I realized I was covered in sweat. My sheets were soaked. I must have been seeing things, my mind was still racing. I couldn’t find a reasonable thread in my thoughts that made sense.
I made myself get off the bed and go to the bathroom. After I’d shaved and brushed my teeth and repeatedly splashed my face with water—I realized it hadn’t made a difference. So I decided to take a shower, even though I had one late the previous night. After I got back from Rosalie’s place.
In the shower, once the steaming hot water had finally calmed me a little, I realized I was still thinking about the kid. Rosalie’s kid. Davey.
There was something about him that made me feel like I knew him from somewhere, just like I thought I knew his mother too. Like I’d met Davey before—maybe in a different life.
There was no way I’d seen that kid before. I wasn’t exactly surrounded by kids in my everyday life. I would have remembered meeting him if it actually happened.
It felt like I was living in some kind of dream. A dream in which I knew Davey, got along with him. Where he even liked me.
What the actual fuck?
I stood very still in the shower, soaking in the stinging feeling of the hot water that scalded my skin.
I saw flashes of witnessing Rosalie’s apartment again. How small it was. The bills on her coffee table. How tired she looked. She wouldn’t have admitted it to me because she was a proud girl. But she was struggling.
And I wanted to help.
Why?
I had nothing to do with her.
She had no role or importance in my life.
Yet, especially now that I had seen and met her son—I was even more interested in helping her. Helping them. Keeping them safe.
I couldn’t get his eyes out of my thoughts. Davey’s big green eyes. They were so much like his mother’s. He looked so innocent and sleepy when he walked out of his room, dazed. He was surprised to see me but he trusted his mother. He wasn’t suspicious of me because his mother was there.
Kids were…they were everything.
And they were strange too.
Why was I softening to this kid I didn’t know? This kid I would probably never see again. Was it because of his mother? Because I was interested in Rosalie? Why was I interested in her?
I turned off the shower. This was eating away at me.
I had duties. Responsibilities. A war to fight. Getting involved with Rosalie and her problems were a liability I couldn’t afford.
I thought it would have been over by now. Now that I’d blown my load.
But it felt like it was only just beginning.
Tristian was at my door, bright and early in the morning. Just minutes after I’d managed to drag myself out of the shower.
“I come bearing gifts,” he declared. Coffee and donuts. Yeah, they’d do the job.
“What are you doing here so early?” I asked, grabbing the donuts out of his hands.
“I want to know how it went with the girl from the bar. You went to find her last night, right?”
I avoided his eyes. I didn’t want to have to answer his questions. More importantly, I didn’t want to have to tell him about the kid. It was embarrassing that I still thought about him.
I shrugged.
“Yeah, I found her. It was fine. I’m over it,” I replied.
Tristian stared at me with a bemused expression. His brows were furrowed in confusion. He must have expected me to beat a drum and tell him all about my latest conquest, but he wasn’t going to get that from me.
After I’d avoided him long enough, he followed me to the kitchen and sat down at the table.
“Anyway, the big news is that Aidan and Leah are going to go see their kid today,” he said.
It was like the universe was conspiring against me. Did it have to be today? For this fuckin’ conversation?
“Okay, good for them I guess,” I grumbled, stirring cream into my coffee cup.
“Yeah man, it’s huge for them. You should have seen Aidan last night. It was like he was hopped up on a sugar high. He still can’t believe he’s a dad. That he’s actually going to get to meet his son.”
“But Leah gave the kid up. How is this even happening?”
“She gave him up because she didn’t think she’d be able to look after him and give him
