“If you use words like hip and cramp, possibly, but I’m willing to risk it…seeing as how I have zero vibe.”
Dad smiled. “Wow, it’s been forever since we’ve been to a music festival.”
“Did you go to Woodstock?”
Mom gasped. “Woodstock? How old do you think we are?”
“Joke. It was a joke.”
“It better have been,” she said.
“So speaking of the festival, I’m thinking about inviting Shay too.”
Mom and Dad exchanged another look and this one didn’t seem as favorable.
I was confused by that reaction. “You remember my best friend.”
Mom swatted at a fly by her hair. “We do…It’s just…”
“What?”
“I overheard you on the phone with her before we left. I thought maybe you two were taking a break.”
“You know what happened? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I thought you’d come to me if you needed to. But you seemed to be handling it well.”
I looked at Dad to see his expression. To see if he was in the know as well. He seemed to be. “Yeah, we had a major fight and I need to talk to her in person.”
Mom nodded. “You’ve always been a good peacemaker.”
“And you’ve always said that’s a good thing.”
“It is.” She squeezed my hand. “Honey, there aren’t enough in the world. But I also want to make sure you’re not giving away bits of yourself in an effort to keep the peace.”
“I don’t think I am.”
We were all quiet as we needed our breath to climb the last stretch of hill. And when we reached the top, we stopped and looked out over the lake below. Last time I was up here, fireworks were exploding and I was telling Brooks I’d sing with him. The memory pricked at my eyes.
While staring out at the dark water, Mom said, “Sometimes staying in the box we’ve made for ourselves is so easy. It’s comfortable and familiar in there. And a lot of times, the people around us want us to stay in there, too, because that’s how they’ve always known us: in that box.” Mom patted Dad’s arm like she might be referring to him in that moment. “But sometimes we start to change, grow, and the box begins to get small and cramped. And yet we fight to stay inside because the walls are high and climbing out seems harder than staying.”
I knew what she was saying, didn’t need her to interpret it, but I immediately felt my defenses go up. “That was a nice metaphor, Mom.”
Dad heard the sarcasm in my words. “She’s right, Avery. I’ve always told you that you and I are so similar. But you are your own person and I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re stuck.”
Mom took hold of my hand. “I love you so much and think you’re amazing. I’m not saying you need to do anything differently. But if you aren’t feeling like yourself lately, if you’re feeling uncomfortable and a bit cramped, maybe it’s time to start climbing.”
“Ugh.” It was hot in the craft room. Maybe it was all these kids. Breathing their hot air. Maybe it was the afternoon sun beating on the large window. Why were we in the craft room anyway? I looked at the crappy friendship bracelet I was halfway done with. It had been over fifty-two hours since my fight with Brooks and my talk with my parents and my mind wouldn’t turn off. I’d let this stew for fifty-two hours. The quality of my bracelet was a very good representation of my inner battle.
“What?” Lauren asked.
“Mom’s right.”
“About one thing in particular or do you just mean that every single thing she utters is fact?”
“I only said I didn’t want to sing because I didn’t want to make anyone mad.” I wanted to sing and that was the problem here. I hadn’t been mad that Brooks didn’t tell Kai about us. Well, I mean, I was sort of mad about that, too, but I understood why. What I didn’t understand was why Brooks hadn’t stood up for me. Why he hadn’t said that I’d earned the spot, not Ian or Kai or Levi. Because I had. I’d earned that spot, and Brooks just let the guys take it away from me. Even went as far as to tell me I’d only been able to do it because of him. That was what I was mad about. That was what I had every right to be mad about. “I want to sing,” I said again with more confidence.
Lauren’s mouth dropped open but then she nodded. “It’s about time!”
“It’s about time what?”
“That you figured that out. I’ve been waiting.”
“I don’t want to let myself run away from this. I always run away from scary things, from conflict.” Like Brooks. I didn’t stick around to talk out our argument, to let him hear my side. To tell him how I really felt about singing. One sign of trouble and I was gone. I needed to fix that too.
“I’m excited!”
“You won’t be mad at me about the documentary?”
Lauren sighed a big heavy sigh. “Avery, you were doing so good there! It shouldn’t matter if I’m mad, which I’m not. All that matters is that you should sing. You tried out. You made it. Ian didn’t make it. Kai and Levi didn’t make it. You and Brooks did.”
“I’m going to tell them. It’s not too late, right? The festival is tomorrow!”
“No! It’s not too late. You need to let Brooks know,” Lauren said. “The last couple nights at practice he’s looked like a sad little puppy dog. Put the poor thing out of his misery.”
I wasn’t sure me telling him I wanted to sing would make his life any easier, but at least we’d put it all on the table. I smiled, knotted off the end of my bracelet, and tied it to my sister’s wrist.
She stared at it, curled her lip, and said, “You did a crappy job on
