I’m finishing scrubbing the bathtub when the cute dog bumps me with his muzzle. I sit back on my heels and find him staring up at me, head tilted, and a red leash between his jaws. The message couldn’t be clearer.
I stare at my watch. It’ll take Lucas and Tegan at least another hour to arrive in Cambridge, and their appointment isn’t until two. We have plenty of time for a walk, and I could use the fresh air.
Outside, I head toward Whitman Park while Max stops to sniff at every tree and fire hydrant we pass on the way. Before we reach the park, I pause at a kiosk to buy a sandwich. The day is warm, so I sit on a bench in the sun and share bites of my lunch with Max. When I’m finished, I don’t get up right away. Instead, I tilt my head up and enjoy the hot sun rays hitting my face. And, if not relaxed, at least I’m calm when my phone pings with a new incoming text.
In Cambridge, we’re finding a place to have lunch and then we’re going to the university
Fifteen minutes later, another message arrives: a picture of Tegan biting on an oversized burger. She looks nervous but happy.
“Time to go home, buddy,” I tell Max.
When the meeting takes place, I want to be at home with no distractions. It’s an all-hands-on-deck situation, since I have no idea what the outcome will be. If Tegan needs me, even long distance, I want to be there.
Two o’clock comes and goes while I sit on the couch, mercilessly biting at the cuticles on my fingers and staring at the black TV screen with a lump in my throat. Max must sense I’m nervous, because he drops his muzzle on my thigh and stares up at me, worried.
That’s when Pricilla comes out of her hiding hole. She throws one deadly glare at me and the dog usurping her space and narrows her eyes.
In response, Max lowers his ears and stares daggers at the cat in return. Prissy turns on her paws, even more indignant, regaling us with a view of her uptight behind as she goes back into hiding.
When I stare back at my phone after the short distraction, a new message has appeared on screen—a short, terrifying one.
Tegan is going in now
How did I not hear the ping? I check the tones are on and put the ringer to max volume. Shortly afterward, another text comes in, announced by a sound this time.
How are you holding up?
I’m sick to my stomach
That good, uh?
I know it’s useless to say you shouldn’t worry
But really, don’t worry
Whatever is happening in there, Tegan will be the better for it afterward
She’s strong, like you
And if words could help, Lucas’ would have. Maybe they have, a little. Talking with Lucas is a nice diversion from staring at the black TV screen, so I make light of the exchange.
I’m a mom
It’s part of the job description to worry
What about Max?
Is he being a good boy?
Lucas must be changing the subject to distract me, but why not play along?
He’s been an angel all day
Max didn’t try to eat your cat? I was worried he might
No, Priscilla went into hiding as soon as he set a paw in the house, so he didn’t have a chance
We’re on the couch now
Max’s taking care of me with lots of cuddles
That’s a lucky dog
Even through the anguish of the moment, his words make my heart skip a beat. I’m trying to come up with a cool reply when another text lights the screen.
Tegan is coming out now
She slammed the door
Going after her
What did her father say to induce such a strong reaction? That bastard. I knew he’d hurt her. It’s all he’s capable of doing. I should’ve never agreed to let them meet. I knew better.
I send Lucas a worried message:
What’s going on?
No answer.
Lucas, please, I’m dying here
Still nothing.
I try to call him, but he doesn’t pick up. After a few unbearably long minutes, a reply finally comes in.
It didn’t go well
“No kidding,” I snap in frustration, and read the next text.
I know as much as you, but Tegan is okay
Or will be okay, soon
She’s agreed to let me buy her ice cream
We’re going to talk, and then I’ll take her home to you
Go easy on yourself, this is not on you, but him, and only him
And, again, don’t worry, Tegan is safe with me
I was already blaming myself for everything, when Lucas’ texts force me to pause. Yeah, except for having had zero taste in men when I was a teen, I can’t turn bad people into decent ones with the flip of a magic wand. We all have to deal with our choices, and I’ve come to terms with mine. It’s killing me not to be there to comfort Tegan, but I’m also strangely relieved to know she’s with Lucas. Despite our rocky relationship, he’s the only man I’ve ever trusted with the wellbeing of my daughter. Weird, uh?
***
When they arrive home much later that evening, Tegan flies into my arms, hugging me tightly. I hold her, too, and we stay in this position for a few minutes.
Lucas is keeping a few steps back, waiting respectfully on the front porch. I mouth a “Thank you,” at him over Tegan’s shoulder. He nods.
Once Tegan lets me go, I invite Lucas in, but he refuses. “I’d better go. It’s late, and you girls have a lot to talk about.”
Upon hearing his favorite human’s voice, Max comes rushing down the hall to greet Lucas.
I give Lucas the leash and thank him again. Tegan does the same, hugging him, and then both the dog and his owner are gone.
Tegan and I sit on the couch, and I don’t know where to start. I have so many
