I need your dorky brain to rub off on me. If I flunk this class, I’m off the basketball team.
So we’re on for that study session?
Yeah! Library at lunch?
Sounds good!
Thanks, Jess.
I’m going to laminate that page. I’ll tack it to my wall so I can marvel at its beauty. Hell, I’ll sleep with it under my pillow.
By the time the bell rang, I felt weightless. It hardly even bothered me that I needed to wait for Courtney to finish whispering a story to Annie before we could leave class together.
Annie knows me so well. The second she saw my face, she knew something was up. She raised her eyebrows at me and commanded, “Spill it! What’s going on?”
“Nothing . . . I just made some lunch plans with my lab partner. I hope you don’t mind if I take off after we eat.”
She stopped dead in her tracks. “Are you shitting me?”
“It’s not a big deal,” I assured her. “We’re just both really behind, so we’re going to meet in the library to go over some stuff together.”
“You like him.”
“Of course I like him. He’s my lab partner.”
“Yeah, right. I mean, you like like him.”
“Are we really having this conversation?”
“Don’t get all pissy with me! I can tell you like him!”
We turned the corner into the arts corridor, where the crowds were thinner. “Annie. Seriously. I don’t like like him. I just think he’s nice, and I want to do better in science. Plus, he’s Scott freakin’ Hutchins. I wouldn’t stand a chance even if I did like him. Which I don’t! Please don’t make a bigger deal of this than it is, or I’ll feel all awkward and nervous.”
I don’t know why I lied to her. I know Annie wouldn’t make fun of me. She’d be happy. But I can’t admit that this might be the beginning of something. Guys like Scott do not fall for girls like me without the assistance of a full-on makeover or a fairy godmother.
“Ooookay. I believe you, but if anything happens, you need to tell me. Right away. Got it?”
I put a hand on my heart and the other in the air. “I swear to you, Annie Miller, that if I develop a crush on my lab partner, you will be the first to know.”
“Good.”
“Now . . . what’s up with you and bitchface?”
Annie looked puzzled for a minute and then realized who I was talking about. “She’s not that bad, Jess.”
“Yeah, right. Courtney Williams is a real sweetheart.”
Annie looked ready to say something, but she stopped herself. The second bell rang, and we stood there awkwardly for a second before heading off to class.
I watched her walk away, memories of Courtney haunting the edges of my brain. Stop it, Jess, I told myself. Things are different now. I have Annie. She’d never turn on me like Courtney and Larissa did. Our friendship is stronger than that.
“You are such a liar,” Annie accused at lunch, leaning back in her chair and shaking her head at me.
I dragged my eyes away from my science textbook and tried to focus on her. I was due in the library in ten minutes, and I was trying to cram as much knowledge into my brain as possible before meeting Scott.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, rubbing my sweaty hands on my jeans.
“If you’re really not hot for Scott, why are you so nervous? And don’t tell me you’re not, because you normally scarf down twice the amount of food that’s on your plate right now, and you’ve barely even eaten a bite of what’s there.”
“Of course I’m nervous,” I told her. “I’ve never studied with anyone but you. And this is one of the most popular guys in school. I’m not nervous because I want something with him . . . I’m nervous because I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of him.”
The temptation to tell her the whole truth was strong, but the need to avoid utter humiliation was stronger. I mean, let’s face it, I’m pretty much the most socially challenged person alive. The odds were good that I was misreading the whole situation.
Annie’s smile was blinding. “Is that it? That’s what you’re nervous about? Jessie! You’re the smartest girl I know. You couldn’t look dumb if you tried. He’s gonna be blown away by your tutoring ability.” Annie peeled the lid off her container of yogurt and dug in. “You had me really worried there.”
“Worried?”
“Yeah . . . you know. You’re my best friend.” She gave me a playful kick under the table. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
My mouth was suddenly dry. “Wh-why would I get hurt?” My voice came out so squeaky it made me cringe.
She shrugged. “You know . . . if you liked him or whatever and he wasn’t interested.”
A rush of feelings hit me so hard I couldn’t sort them out. I was embarrassed and hurt and angry all at once. Annie could not imagine a situation in which Scott would be interested in me. That bothered me much more than it should have, given that I could barely imagine such a scenario myself. But Annie is supposed to be my best friend.
I swallowed hard and fought to keep the quiver out of my voice. “Obviously he wouldn’t be interested. I’m not delusional, Annie.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she protested. But it was what she meant, and we both knew it.
By the time I walked into the library, I was a mess. And it didn’t help that Scott wasn’t there. I was just starting to panic when I felt a tug on my backpack. I turned and flashed him a beaming smile . . . only to find Charlie standing where Scott should have been.
“Wow,” he said, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “It’s good to see you looking so . . . happy. We miss you at lunch.”
I looked at him sideways. “Really? I figured I was kind of annoying, always
