Ash looked at me now, his eyebrows knitting together. “Beach...body...” he whispered.
“That’s the name of the garage,” I said. “You remember.”
“‘We’ll give you a better body at Beach Body.’” He hummed the tune of the ancient advertisement Mike had made for radio years ago, and never updated, and I let out a laugh as I covered my eyes with one hand.
“That’s not my handiwork. We used to make fun of that damn thing all the time. This is amazing, Ash. I can’t believe that came back.”
“Neither can I,” he said. “I wish there was more, things about us.”
I hesitated for a moment. “We could go back to Maryland, see if it helps.”
He shook his head, his expression changing to one of concern. “No, I can’t. I promised Maya I wouldn’t leave again. Besides, a large part of my memories is here. I have to try to find those first. Figure out who I am, not to mention why I left. I owe it to Maya, and to myself, and you.”
“Then let me help,” I said. “Because I’m not giving up on you.”
“I lied, gave you a false name, and you still want to help me. Why?”
“Because I want you to find the person you truly are.” I looked at him, the doubts I’d had lessening. “You must’ve had a good reason for what you did. Let me help you figure out what it was. I know you. You’re not a bad person. You’re incapable of hurting anyone.”
“Are you sure?”
“A thousand percent.” I took in the contours of his face, the edge of his chin, the amber in his eyes. My belly fluttered. “I’m still angry about what happened but...I fell in love with you the second I first saw you, and I can’t let you go through this alone.”
“Lily...” he whispered. “I don’t know what I can offer in return.”
“I know, and I understand, but it doesn’t change how I feel.”
The air between us shifted and crackled. It would’ve been so easy to give in to my longing, so simple to put my arms around him, kiss, touch and seduce him under the pretext of trying to get him to remember me, us. My body ached for his, and I wanted him, no question, but it wouldn’t be right. It would make me unscrupulous, something I promised myself I’d never be again after I got out of prison. I moved my leg so it no longer touched his.
“I should go,” Ash said. “Let you get some sleep.”
“I’m not tired,” I said, shaking my head, thinking I’d never been more awake. While my conscience wouldn’t let me seduce him, there was nothing wrong with me spending as much time with him as I could. “I have some wine in the fridge. Unless you’re driving?”
“I walked.”
“That far at this time of night? Are you nuts?”
Ash let out a laugh. “There’s a shortcut and I’ve got long legs, and to be honest, this is the first night in a while I’ve felt alive. Honest to God, sometimes it’s been as if I was drowning.” When he caught my expression, he closed his eyes. “Christ, that was as subtle as a brick, wasn’t it?”
I burst out laughing and Ash joined in, the tension evaporating. As I collapsed on the bed in a ridiculous, giggling heap, for that short moment, it was us again—Jack and Lily—and I wanted it to last forever. I fished the bottle from the fridge and retrieved a couple of paper cups, and as I filled them both, Ash sat down next to me on the bed, which seemed both strange and intimate at the same time.
“A toast,” I said. “To new beginnings.”
“To new beginnings,” Ash replied, taking a sip.
The wine flowed as easily as the conversation, and not long after, we both stretched out. Ash put his hands under his head, listening intently as I described our lives in Brookmount, how he’d worked as a carpenter, and my job at the garage. I talked and talked, told him everything about my history, my relationship with my parents and brother, but I still couldn’t bring myself to share the sordid details about Dominic Martel, or my conviction. Not yet, I thought. Don’t give him a reason to leave.
“But we weren’t living together in Brookmount?” he said when I took a breath.
“Uh, no...”
“Why the hesitation?”
“Well, I went through your things because your landlord is selling the place, which reminds me—” I sat up and reached for my keys “—I put it all in storage. This is the key. You should have it now. I’ll give you their details and contact them to make sure they have your name in case you want to...” I waved a hand, not daring to finish the thought of him getting his stuff without me because our lives were no longer entwined.
Ash slipped the key in his pocket. “Thank you for doing that. And thank you for not giving up on me, for coming all the way to Newdale. It means...a lot.”
I glanced at him and smiled. “You’re welcome.”
“So...back to our living arrangements...”
“Ah...well, at the risk of being completely wrong—”
“Which I wouldn’t remember anyway.”
“Har, har. I see you haven’t lost your funny bone. Anyway, I found a gift you’d addressed to me.”
“Please tell me I got you something good.”
I laughed. “It was a key to your place. I think you were going to ask me to move in.”
Ash’s smile faded, the jovial banter popping like soap bubbles around our heads. “I wish I could remember that. Seriously, why the hell did I go swimming that evening? Who does that, anyway? Head into the ocean when a storm’s coming? What an idiot.”
“You swam almost every night, it wasn’t unusual,
