I hear a few of the guys grumble, though nothing audible, but I can’t look away from Dragon as he continues.
“We can start with Jaguar and what will happen with him. Originally, I thought to leave the decision on what was to become of Jaguar to only Eagle, but then I thought about it. His betrayal, though it only physically affected Eagle, it mentally affected all of us. This will be an open forum. We’ll all talk and then together make a decision that we can all agree on.”
I expect the room to erupt with talking, but nobody says a single word. Their attention shifts from Dragon to me, then slowly, as if they are one, back to Dragon.
“Take him back to his room so we can talk,” Eagle grunts.
A hand clamps around my bicep, the grip too hard, but I don’t fight it. There is no sense in fighting it, in fighting anything. I’m dragged away from church and I’m okay with that. Though, I wish Dragon would have just named the time, place, and how, so that I could stop thinking about my impending death.
I don’t get far from the conference room when I hear my name being called. I close my eyes, letting the sweet sound of her voice wash over me. The person at my back stops and I turn to see Pammy hurrying in my direction.
The look on her face makes me feel sick. My stomach twists at the sight of her expression. She’s so fucking good, she does not need to look at me the way that she does. She’s watching me with worried admiration. She thinks I’m good like her, but she doesn’t realize that I’m just as bad as her own fucking father, just in a different way.
“Are you okay?” she breathes as she arrives in front of me.
Dipping my chin, I hold her gaze with mine. “Yeah. You okay, babe?” I ask.
She presses her lips together, rolling them a few times and my dick twitches. Something it should absolutely not do when it comes to her. She’s twenty years younger than me. She’s here for safety, and I’m standing here trying to keep from getting wood.
I’m completely fucked up.
“I’m okay. I’m worried about you though.”
Her voice is just as soft and sweet as she is. She reaches for me and hesitantly touches my chest. I can feel her hand through my shirt. It feels like it’s scalding my skin. It’s the best sensation I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
I let out a hiss at the feeling, and my gaze doesn’t shift from hers. Her eyes widen at the same time that I hiss, but she doesn’t pull away, instead she moves a little closer and I want to tell her to run, but I don’t say shit.
Tipping my chin, I look into her green eyes and wonder what the fuck I did in this life to have them gazing up at me the way that they are. Nothing. I’ve done nothing to deserve the way she looks at me, but I wish that I could keep them—keep her.
“Don’t worry about me, Pammy. No fuckin’ reason to worry about me at all. Don’t deserve your worries.”
She blinks, licking her lips. They’re parted as she looks up at me, watching me. I wish I could lean down and taste her. I’ve never tasted innocence before, I want it, but I also know that I can’t have it.
Taking a step back, I jerk my chin forward. The brother behind me doesn’t hesitate in pushing me forward. I don’t look back at Pamela. I’m taken back to my holding room and I’m good with that. I don’t need to be free—another thing I don’t deserve.
PAMELA
I stand in the middle of the room and watch him being led away, pushed away, whatever you want to call it. I feel sick. This entire thing makes me feel sick, because I have a feeling that it isn’t going to have a good outcome and these people, they just don’t understand how good Dylan truly is.
“Girl, you have got it bad,” a voice says from behind me.
Spinning around, I blink at the sight of the woman standing across from me. She isn’t Della or Pinkie. She’s beautiful, dark-haired, but she’s watching me and scrutinizing me. Flicking my eyes down, I notice that her shirt reads Boys & Girls Club Staff.
“I’m Esther,” she says, introducing herself.
“Pamela,” I murmur. She nods her head once, then jerks her chin toward a sofa against the wall.
“Wanna talk? You look like you could use an ear.”
I could use an ear, but I don’t know these people, and I’m worried that they’re going to trick me into something. I’ve seen the way that my dad’s club was, the games that they would play. The way that they would lure people in, only to break them down.
I don’t want to believe that the Savage Beasts could be the same way, that Jaguar would take me from one hell just to send me into another, but I really don’t know what is going on. Walking over to the couch, I sink down, my ass on the edge and ready to run at any second.
“Jaguar did some bad things. Really bad things, but he’s not necessarily a bad person,” she says. “I’ve known him for a long time.”
“You’re telling me this…”
Esther leans back slightly, her eyes focused on me, sharp and intuitive. She sees a lot, she is trying to look deep inside of me, but she isn’t going to find anything. I don’t have anything for her to see or find—nothing that is for her anyway.
“I just want you to be aware. He’s in deep shit. He may not survive, but I don’t want you to believe that he’s bad to his core.”
Crossing my leg over my knee, I bounce my
