“You’re tough, I’ll give you that much. You don’t have to be here, though. These men won’t hurt you, not unless you give them a reason to. And that reason would be, betrayal. No matter what, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, not ever.”
“Yeah?” I snort. “What happens to me when they kill Jaguar? Where do I go? What do I become?”
She clears her throat, then leans forward slightly. “You’ll go wherever you want to, become whatever it is you desire. The world is yours for the taking, Pamela.”
Licking my lips, it’s my turn to lean forward and tell her the truth. My truth. “I have absolutely nothing, Esther. Not a single thing. My options are limited and now they’re even less.”
“Yeah?”
Nodding, I let out a sigh. “I become a clubwhore and hope that I do a decent job so that I can have a place to sleep and food in my belly.”
“That’s not true, you can do whatever you want.”
“Who’s gonna pay for it?” I spit. “I go to a trade school and who will pay for it, give me a place to live so that I can go to classes? Where is the magic money tree planted? I don’t even have a high school education, Esther. Explain the world to me.”
Esther watches me for another moment, then something akin to pity crosses her face, and I hate it. She reaches out, taking my hand in hers, and squeezes my fingers.
“You’re angry and scared. I get it. But the world isn’t as doom and gloom as you may think. I’ll help you, this club will help you.”
Tears well in my eyes, but I blink them back, refusing to let them fall down my cheeks. “Yeah? And when my dad finds me and takes me back to his club, because no matter what, I’m his property. Who is going to help me then?”
“Pamela,” she exhales. “Don’t.”
Shaking my head, I stand and tug my hand out of her grasp. “It doesn’t matter,” I whisper. “Nothing does. I know my options and the only saving grace I have is that nobody has ever been between my legs. I know I’m valuable because I have a hymen.”
Without another word, I turn from her and walk away. She lives in a world where she works at the Boys & Girls Club, where she has choices. I don’t. I don’t even have a middle school education.
I haven’t been to school since the fourth grade. I can read and write, only because I love to journal and read romance novels. I’m not a complete idiot, mainly because I yearn for knowledge and constantly look things up.
Choices, options, those things don’t exist for a girl like me. I was raised at the clubhouse, raised around the depravity of the Donkey Punchers MC. I was raised to be used, to know my place and know my worth.
I’m not worthless.
I have worth, that worth just lies between my legs and nowhere else.
“She understands, more than you know,” Pinkie says as soon as I walk into the room where the clubwhores hang out.
There isn’t much here, some chairs, a couch, a television. Then there are two bedrooms off of this room and they each have four twin-size beds. Basically, when they aren’t being used, this is where they sleep and hang. It’s not a bad gig, way better than the women at the Punchers were ever treated.
“Maybe she does, but it doesn’t matter. She seems to think that I have options when I know the truth.”
“Yeah, I get that, too.”
Turning to her, I arch a brow, but I know that she is telling me the truth. I can see the depth of Pinkie and she has been through and seen some serious shit. She’ll probably never tell a soul about any of it either. I wouldn’t either. The more knowledge people have, the more they can use against you.
She watches me, but I can’t read her face. Sometimes I catch her looking at me with this weird mixed-up expression. She’s wearing it now. It doesn’t last for long, she shakes it away, but she’s watching me, studying me, looking at me almost as if she can’t believe I’m real.
Chapter Five
EAGLE
The men are looking at me, their expectations clear. They want me to agree to kill him. They want him gone for his betrayal. I should want that too. Except when I look at him, I don’t see a killer. I still see my brother, the man that I betrayed just as much as he did me. Granted, my reason was a bit different than his, but he was fucking blinded.
“I don’t think he should die,” I announce.
There is nothing but silence. So I continue to speak. “He betrayed us. He shot me. But I’m not without blame in the situation. He thought he had claim to my Old Lady, the circumstances around that don’t matter anymore, but he thought he had a legitimate claim to her. He was pissed and he made the wrong fucking choice.”
“No shit,” Silver grunts. “Goddamn, it was the wrong choice if there ever was one.”
“You want him dead?” I ask.
Silver flicks his gaze to me, then to Dragon. “I don’t. Didn’t want him losing his shit the way he did, but I don’t want him dead. When he was just Jag who went fucking crazy and ran away like a coward, thought I did.”
“Now that he’s standing in front of us, after helping us? After helping her the way he did?” I ask.
“There’s good in him, always has been, but fuck it’s deep, hombre,” Silver grumbles. “Seeing that girl strapped down on the
