“Is that what you want to happen to her?” Tracy asked. “You want her to open her heart to him and then have it broken?”
“Yes!” She whisper-exclaimed. “I was hurt by David but if I had the chance to do it all over again, I would, with all of my heart. And I would gladly get hurt all over again, because during that time, I knew what it meant to truly be alive. To give yourself so completely to someone, to have your heart set on fire. To be fucking awake!” She turned to me. “What are you so fucking afraid of? I can see just how much this man affects you. What if there’s something here? It doesn’t have to be a lifetime, but what if with him, you’ll get to experience the most amazing week of your life, or month, or even year? He’s already given you the most amazing night, I’m sure. I have never seen you this floored by someone in all the years I've known you. And you’ve only known him a few days. Leah, be honest with me and yourself… has anyone ever fucked you the way he did?”
I couldn’t respond, but her words were eating me up inside in a way I couldn’t seem to dispute. “Anne,” I stated with gritted teeth. “If you don’t stop right now I'm going to leave.”
“I’m almost done,” she said. “So listen carefully. You should have kissed him in that bathroom, and if nothing else, it would have brought you some closure but yet again, you pushed him away. And now, you’re always going to wonder about it.” She nodded as if she were confident of her little speech. “What an amazing life of what ifs you’re racking up thus far,” she concluded. “Keep it up.”
Just then, our food arrived and it all came to a close… our discussion and our light heartedness for the evening.
Chapter 10
Leah
Later that night, I went to bed battling demons and by the next morning, I was ready to completely get rid of them.
“Let’s go paragliding,” I said to the girls at breakfast.
For a moment, they both stared at me like I had gone crazy.
Then Anne agreed with a shrug. “Sure.”
Tracy’s gaze shot towards her, eyes filled with horror. “Are you out of your mind? I’m not doing that!”
“Oh…” Anne’s fork clattered dramatically to the plate. She leaned back against her chair. “So now you don't want to explore?”
“I’m not jumping off a mountain for no goddamn reason.”
“But yet, you want me to stand on a damn flat board and paddle across the sea. What’s the reason for that?”
My sigh was heavy. “You both need to calm down.”
“Oh, I’m calm,” Anne said. “Tracy, if you don't come paragliding with us, I’m not participating in anything else that you want to for the remainder of this trip.”
Three hours later, the three of us were riding up the mountain in a Safari jeep.
As we bumped along, towards the point where we would take-off, about a thousand meters above ground level, we all remained extremely quiet, deep into our thoughts and contemplating the adventure before us.
To Tracy, however, it seemed to be more of an ordeal. “I feel nauseous,” she said.
“It’s the car,” Anne mocked her with a smile. “When you’re thousands of feet above the air in nothing more than a balloon attached to some cables, you’ll feel better. The air too will be fresher.”
I smacked her across the knee, while Tracy gave her a deadly stare.
After we arrived, we received the needed instructions and met our pilots.
Then Tracy began to tremble. Her knees were knocking together so badly that I had to settle her down on the ground.
“I can’t do this,” she muttered over and over again, especially after we saw another patron jump off into the air.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “You don’t have to. Anne and I—”
“Actually, none of us have to,” Anne came out of nowhere. “I just wanted to torture Tracy and my goal has been achieved. So let’s leave a big tip for these pilots for wasting their time, and go over to Cleopatra Beach. I have a lounge chair and a Mai Tai with my name on it, waiting for me.” She took off her helmet.
Tracy jumped to her feet.
I couldn't leave. I needed to get rid of my demons. I didn't know how this paraglide would even help me do that, but for once, I wanted to jump, especially with the belief I felt I would feel completely free afterwards. “You guys can go ahead,” I said. “I want to do this. Funny enough we’ll be landing at Cleopatra Beach, so save a bed for me, and three Cosmos. I’m going to need it.”
They both gazed at me, looking stunned by my decision.
Tracy stared at me with concern. “Leah—”
“It’s fine,” I said. “And it’s safe. I’ll have a great time and then I’ll come tell you both about it.” I turned around and walked away before either of them could change my mind.
In no time, I was strapped in with an instructor strapped to my back, so we could jump off the mountain. My heart kept pounding so hard in my chest I thought I might just pass out.
I shut my eyes the moment my legs lifted off solid ground, and all that came to mind was... Carter.
His almost boyish grin, but with that intensity raging in the depths of his glare.
Why am I doing this? I kept chanting to myself, until my instructor called out to me.
“Open your eyes,” he urged. “It’s incredibly beautiful right now.”
It took me a little while longer to find the courage to, but I eventually did, and my breath was stolen from me in a whoosh.
In the distance, I could see the clear, blue waters of the Mediterranean Sea, then the lush undulating green treetops and fields of the landscape. The only alternative way to such a view
