The instructor pulled the strings to control the glider aircraft, so that we soared and sailed with the direction of the wind like a feather floating along in the breeze.
It all seemed too surreal to completely take in, but thankfully the driver gave me twenty minutes to enjoy this state of complete tranquility and freedom. From up here, everything else seemed so small and inconsequential… a perception that being in the midst of it all would never have allowed.
I had been so scared to do this, but then here I was, flying and feeling more at peace than I had in a long time.
Anne had been right… what was I afraid of?
The world was cruel, and so protecting yourself from hurt became necessary, but why did that have to mean never taking jumps that might be potentially fatal… never giving yourself the opportunity to soar, even if it would be just for a little while.
Tears rolled down from my eyes. “Could we land a little bit earlier?” I asked the pilot.
He granted my request.
Anne and Tracy were waiting for me on the beach.
But the moment I landed, I didn’t take the time to speak to them. “I’ll be right back,” I said, and ran to the nearest taxi I could find. My heart was painfully full, with longing and regret. I needed to catch him before he disappeared out of my grasp forever.
He had never mentioned when his flight would be, so I was queasy with the fear that I was too late, that he had already flown out of the country. I tried calling his number multiple times but then it would ring to disconnection and he wouldn’t pick up.
When I arrived at his hotel, I ran straight up to his room and pounded on the door. “Carter!” I called out. “Carter…”
No response.
With a sinking feeling in my stomach, my legs gave out and I melted down into a puddle on the floor. I thought of what to do, now beyond panic as the realization I had been too late set in.
I looked at my phone and at the unanswered calls. It wasn’t too late. I was still able to reach him. So I peeled myself off the floor to head down to the reception. There, I would be able to confirm if he had checked out yet or not.
I hurried away from the door, but had barely gone a few steps when I heard his door click open. I scrambled to a halt, and then spun around to see him.
He stared at me with groggy sleepy looking eyes. “Leah?” he called, surprised.
Staring at him, my knees nearly gave out. “H-hey,” I stuttered.
He didn't say a word, but it was impossible to miss the frown that dug into his forehead at the sight of me.
I placed my hand on the wall of the hallway for some stability, and forced my legs to move towards him. “I umm… I wanted to confirm if you had already left.”
“My flight is tonight,” he said and folded his strong arms across his chest.
I almost shuddered in relief. “Umm… well, I’m sorry for waking you. I just went paragliding and it was amazing.”
He stared at me, his face emotionless, his eyes unblinking.
“H-have you ever been?” I asked. “Paragliding?”
His gaze moved then.
Only when it settled on my hands did I realize I had been wringing them mercilessly.
He returned his gaze to mine and released a heavy sigh. “Come in,” he said and went into the room.
I hesitated for a moment and then followed, locking the door behind me.
“I only have a bit of orange juice left,” he said as he retrieved a jug from the fridge and poured some into a glass. He came over to me, only dressed in a pair of dark briefs, and handed it over. His hair looked tousled in that unruly but boyish way that it got when he’d spent quite a while in bed, like he had with me. He sat on the edge of the bed, and watched me.
“Thanks for the juice,” I said and took a long sip.
“Why are you here, Leah?” he asked.
I hadn’t planned on finishing the juice but as the question came out, I kept drinking it to bide my time before I had to give a response. When I was done, I held the glass in my hand and hoped it wouldn’t shatter. “I uh…” My voice shook. “I went paragliding.”
“So you’ve said. And no, I've never been.”
“It’s uh… it’s really scary. You jump off the mountain strapped to the balloon an… whatever happens, happens.”
He gave me a ghost of a smile. “I’m sure it’s safer than that.”
“Well yeah… it is. I’m still here. It was amazing.”
He watched me with those emerald eyes of his.
I knew it was time to say exactly what I wanted, but I didn't know how to form the words in my mouth. Somehow, I felt as though he could see right through me… like he understood me. “I need a little bit of help—to say what I want to.”
He smiled, his gaze lowering briefly to the floor.
Suddenly, I felt a bit foolish.
“You don’t advise me to go paragliding?” he asked. “Is that it?”
He was toying with me and although it stung, I knew I completely deserved it.
He rose to his feet. “Leah, I have a flight to get to soon. Please let me know why you’re here.”
“You know why,” I accused him.
“Actually, I don't. You’ve pushed me away now, twice. So how do you expect me to be completely positive that I know why you’re here?”
“I’m sorry. I-I took things too seriously. It’s my fault.”
“So now, you’re here because you don't want to take things too seriously anymore?”
I exhaled deeply, fed up with the unmistakable notes of condescension. “Carter, are you still
