I glance away, my eyes drifting back to the door as Alicia comes back inside.
Her smile is guarded as she walks forward into the small semi-circle we’ve made. “The grounds are yours for the weekend. Let me know any accommodations you need and my mom will do her best. She’s happy to host.”
“Oh my goodness.” Jill closes the space between them and wraps her friend in a hug. “Thank you so much. You’re a total lifesaver. Please, tell your parents thank you.”
“It’s nothing,” Alicia says, but that isn’t true. She just saved the wedding and I can’t help but view the gesture as a big step in reuniting their lost friendship.
“Fuck.” Jill pulls back, looking around. “We need to make a plan. No one leaves until they’ve been given an assignment.”
“I thought this was supposed to be a party,” someone calls out.
“Yeah, feels more like boot camp,” another says.
Cam shakes his head. “You assholes will do whatever I ask, or you’ll be working holidays until I retire.”
“Yeah, yeah.” They laugh and wave off his threats.
“I can help too,” Alicia says, her voice cutting above the jeering laughter of Cam’s friends. “Whatever you need.”
“Is there room for storage? Somewhere we can keep items before Saturday?”
“Yeah, there are several empty garage bays you can use.”
“Good.” Jill nods, turning to point her finger at me. “Then you can help Chase collect tables and chairs tomorrow.”
“Oh.” Alicia shifts the weight of her body from one foot to the other, not meeting my gaze. “Um.”
I like this idea more than I should, but by her concerned stare I can already tell she’s about to bail. I don’t want her to and I reach for the first idea to pop into my mind. “I don’t know. Alicia’s too much of a princess to do any heavy lifting.” It’s a shot fired, a cheap jab, but it gains the desired result.
“What?” Alicia’s brows furrow with a sharp frown she narrows my way. “Who are you calling princess?”
Bingo.
“Okay. Well, if you two can keep from killing each other, that’s settled.” Jill studies my satisfied smile and Alicia’s irritation with a little too much interest. “I’ll email specifics, but why don’t you make a plan to hook up tomorrow?”
Hook up? There’s no way she could know, but Jill’s choice of words hits close to the past. A smirk pulls at my lips, and I turn to see if Alicia caught the same double meaning. My amusement is short-lived.
Alicia’s eyes widen with panic as they meet mine. Her mouth parts, as if maybe there’s something she wants to say, but instead her gaze darts across the room to where Simon plays with Matthew.
I’m confused at first. But when my stare follows hers, it gets stuck on Matthew.
His dark eyes and hair are exactly like Alicia’s, and also mine. Wait. He couldn’t be—? Fuck. It’s like looking at old snapshots from when I was a child. I shake my head, but the resemblance remains. It must be a coincidence. It has to be. She wouldn’t leave pregnant with my child and keep him a secret—would she?
Alicia is a lot of things but heartless isn’t one of them.
But if she thought I wasn’t able to stay sober?
Fuck. Maybe that’s why she’s here now. Maybe she’s back for more than this wedding. Maybe I have a son I never knew about and I’m staring at him for the first time. My body stiffens, my breath catches, and my imagination runs wild. Is Matthew mine? Or has seeing Alicia again made me fucking delusional? Either way, I’m sure as hell not missing an opportunity to spend time with her, and get to the bottom of my suspicions.
8
Alicia
I watch in horror as the pieces click together and Chase draws his conclusion about Matthew. My gut tumbles and twists as the seconds tick by, wishing things could be different. Torn between telling him everything and running away from the truth. My primary concern is for my son, but I also hate the distress I cause Chase. He didn’t ask for this. Blindsiding him isn’t kind or fair.
Immediately, I regret doing this.
I shouldn’t have brought Matthew and Simon today.
I shouldn’t have come here. I don’t know what I expected, but this—this is just cruel. But it’s too late to run or hide; I’m in this now.
I square my shoulders and turn back to Chase, ready for whatever he has to say. Hoping he doesn’t hate me, though he has every right to. I search his face looking for threads of the man I fell for, and my heart skips a beat. He looks good. Damn good. I want to know everything I’ve missed. I want to ask him about the summer after I left. Did he get sober right away? How hard did he fall? Did my letter make a difference? A tiny part of me hopes it did, which is so self-absorbed. I don’t have the right to ask any of those questions. I’m too chicken anyway. Instead, I settle for something easy. “So, what time do you need me tomorrow?”
“Uh.” His gaze drifts back across the room to where Simon holds my son. His jaw works back and forth as if he’d like to ask me questions too. “We can meet up at ten, if that’s not too early.”
“Sure,” I say, not wanting to argue. I can’t believe Jill has us paired up, but then again, why would she think anything of it? It’s not as if she knows about the summer Chase and I shared.
“I’ll pick you up. Where are you staying?”
“My parents’ house.”
“Okay, why don’t you text me the address.”
“Sure.” Maybe this will be good. It’ll give us time to talk privately.
His lips pull, a slow smile spreading across his mouth. “You’re going to need my number.”
“Right.” I nod, biting down on my lip so I won’t admit I still have it
