“Wonderful,” I’d replied duly and dully. I knew I’d be happy about it once it sunk in, I’d felt the same when they announced they were expecting Noah. But all I wanted to do in that moment was wallow in self-pity.
“I can’t believe it,” Mum had answered, her words coming thick and fast, “and they’re identical!”
“I can’t believe it,” I’d echoed, breathing a sigh of relief as I’d retrieved my key. “It’s lovely news, pass on my congratulations.”
“You should call Nick yourself, he’d be glad to hear from you,” Mum said, and I’d humoured her with a non-committal “hmmm” before ending the call, going into my house and sobbing. I felt like the most selfish sister in the world for being jealous of my brother and his perfect family, and even more than that, being jealous of how happy he’d made my mum. I’d never done anything that had filled her with such obvious pride.
Tawna prodded the magazine in her hand, annoyed the attention had shifted away from her and the wedding. “Can we get back to looking at dresses please?” She pushed a handful of the glossy brochures towards me and directed me to the pages showing her favourite dresses. Most were much of a muchness – floaty fabrics in one ice-cream shade or another. The selection ranged from knee-length to floor-skimming, and I was quietly hoping Tawna would pick the shorter style. My body wasn’t as svelte as the women’s in these glorified catalogues, but walking everywhere to save money ensured my legs had become one of my best features.
“I like that one.” Eve pointed to a simple dusky lilac dress with a classic cut. Rounded neck, capped sleeves and falling just below the knee, the only detail was in the ruched folds of fabric around the bust. “The colour is subtle. It looks classier than the bright dresses.”
“That’s what I thought.” Tawna beamed at Eve for the vote of confidence, before looking warily my way. “Do you like them, Soph? It’s you two who need to be happy; it won’t be me wearing it.”
“Sure.”
I took the magazine from Eve, scrutinising the detail of the dress. It was pretty, and I tried to imagine me and Eve wearing them as we followed Tawna and her mum down the aisle. That in itself was enough to make my emotions brim over. Tawna had been incredibly close to her dad and it had hit her hard when he’d died a few years earlier. A lump rose in my throat and I clamped my lips together to stop the tears welling in my eyes from falling. We’d been through so much together, all three of us.
“Oh, Soph, you old softie.” As Tawna folded me into a hug, the tears started flowing good and proper. “I thought it was the bride who was supposed to get emotional. If you’re like this now, what will you be like on the day?”
“I’m sorry,” I snivelled. “It’s just strange to think of you getting married. It doesn’t seem long since we were sat at the back of history class, making fun of Mr Maloney’s comb-over.”
I sniffed and laughed at the same time. What would those cocksure young girls make of the three of us now? Eve would be proud of her academic achievements, I’m sure. Tawna would be happy too, marrying a good-looking self-made businessman and living the dream in her glamorous pad. But me? My dream as a fifteen-year-old had been simple – marry Milo V and live happily ever after. Somewhere along the line I’d realised that wasn’t going to happen and that had been the end of my dreaming. Why hadn’t I replaced my ambitions to marry the delectable star with something else, something more achievable that I had control over? I couldn’t say. Instead I’d chosen to float through life, watching, as everyone else moved towards their goals.
“A lot’s happened since school,” Eve said, joining the hug.
“It has,” Tawna agreed, “and I know how fortunate I am to have friends like you two. Having one best friend is lucky, but having two – I’m blessed by the friendship fairies. So what do you think? Shall I call the bridal shop and ask if they have this dress in stock?”
Tawna clapped her hands together excitably as Eve and I nodded. “You’re both going to look gorgeous!” Tawna stated gleefully. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d started jumping up and down. “Totally stunning.”
“I’m sure we’ll look lovely, but you’re going to be the star of the show,” I said. “The most beautiful bride in the whole wide world.”
Then Tawna welled up too, frantically flapping her hands in front of her tear-filled eyes so it was hard to believe it was the same opinionated person we knew and loved (and, in all honesty, often got frustrated by). She was suddenly softer, in need of reassurance that she could fit the criteria for “perfect bride”.
“Sometimes I can’t believe it’s really going to happen. Me and Johnny getting married.” Her eyes sparkled with tears. “He could have anyone he wanted.”
“But he loves you,” Eve pointed out rationally. “Anyone can see you’re his absolute world. When the two of you are together he goes from one of the lads to a gooey-eyed mess. He’s crazy for you.”
“Good,” Tawna replied, taking a deep breath to regain her composure. She blinked, then shook the tension out of her shoulders. “Because I’m crazy for him too.”
As she retreated to the kitchen to call the bridal shop, my chest heaved. Had anyone ever loved me like that? Darius might have, once. Maybe, if what Tawna said was right, he still did. Could Max, maybe, with time?
Chapter 10
A bell tinkled melodically as we entered the shop – correction, “bridal boutique” – to search for the perfect bridesmaids dresses. Tawna had tried the shop
