“Tell me about it,” I said. “Sometimes it feels like yesterday, and sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. Spend a few hours with a teenager, and you’ll realize just how old you really are.” I let out a chuckle then added, “Oh, but I guess I shouldn’t assume you don’t have kids yourself. Do you? Have kids or…a wife?”
“Nope,” he said, popping the p before taking another sip of his beer. “There’ve been a few contenders here and there, you know? But no one ever, uh, no one ever…made the cut, I guess.”
I drew in one side of my mouth with exaggerated sympathy. “Hey, that just means you have no one making sure you’re home on a Saturday night. Total freedom, man.” I couldn’t even summon the mock excitement I needed to feel for him because I was too busy worrying if that would be my fate. I wanted someone to make sure I was home on Saturday nights. I wanted her to worry. I didn’t want freedom if it meant losing her.
“Jesus, don’t say it like you’re a hostage.” He patted my shoulder, a grin on his lips. “You don’t have to pretend marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Food on the table every night, someone to watch stupid movies with, someone to take care of you when you’re sick… Doesn’t sound so bad to me…” He trailed off, his eyes glazing over. When he blinked, he looked as though he’d been lost. “I probably sound stupid. I’m sure you’re like…itching for a break from normalcy, huh? You’ve been married since you were like twelve.”
“Nineteen,” I corrected, shaking my head. “And no, you don’t sound stupid. Not at all. Trust me. It’s…the truth is, marriage isn’t easy. Addy and I certainly aren’t perfect. No marriage is. But I’d kill for a bit of normalcy right about now.” I rapped my knuckles against the bar, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. “We’re having some issues right now, so nothing’s quite as normal as I’d like.”
He looked genuinely downtrodden to hear the news. “Oh, no.” As he lowered his head and clicked his tongue, he took another sip of his beer and another handful of peanuts before saying. “That’s tough, man.”
“Yeah, well, what can you do?” I asked, puffing my chest with a long exhale. When he didn’t say anything, I heard myself going on. “It’s life, you know? I’m not doing enough to make her happy because work has me so busy. But, it’s like you said, we’ve been together for so long. Our marriage is the biggest constant in my life. I can’t…” I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence for fear of breaking down.
“You can’t lose her,” he said, nodding as if he understood completely.
“I can’t,” I confirmed.
“So, don’t,” he said simply.
I raised my brows, leaning additional weight on the bar as I grew more comfortable. I’d never have guessed when I woke up this morning that I’d be ending my night spilling my guts to someone I hadn’t seen since high school. “You say that like it’s just that simple.”
“Isn’t it?” His blue eyes narrowed in the dimly lit bar.
“I wish it was. I’ve tried. Believe me I have. I’m doing everything I know to do.”
“Everything like what?”
I opened my mouth then closed it again. “I don’t want to bore you. You didn’t come here to listen to me whine about my marriage. This was supposed to be fun.”
“I’m having fun. Aren’t you? I hate all that toxic masculinity bullshit. Who says two men can’t discuss their problems. We’re friends, aren’t we?” He smiled at me, the pebble-sized teeth glinting in the glow of the red neon sign behind the bar.
I sucked in a breath. He was right. I did need to talk about what I was going through. Especially since Addy hadn’t seemed interested in listening to my side of things. It would feel good to let it all out.
“Well, I guess it’s just everyday stuff, you know? I work too much. We don’t get to spend enough time together. We have different ideas about parenting now that Rory’s getting older. And then her mom, oh my God, her mom… The woman practically lives at our house. She’s always there. She’ll just show up whenever she wants, and Addy is never bothered by it. Never mind that I pay for the house, that I stock the food in the fridge and…” I sighed. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters because I just want Addy back. I love her, and I’m willing to put up with all that extra crap to be with her.”
“Have you told her that?”
“I have, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She needs space. She wants me to get my own place, but I just don’t think we’re there yet.”
“She kicked you out?” he asked, his brows knitting together.
“Yeah, three weeks ago. I thought it was just a temporary thing, but she made it seem like it’s going to be a lot more permanent than I realized. Seems like I don’t get much say in the matter.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. See, the trouble is…” I didn’t want to admit the biggest piece of my vulnerability. “We can’t really afford it. We’ve got an insane mortgage—”
“Green Hills…” He nodded, his lips pursed with understanding.
“Yeah, and we’re paying for Rory to be in a private school there. And, I mean, I make great money, right? But she’s a teacher; it’s not like they’re well paid. And rent here isn’t cheap. Hell, it’d probably be cheaper for me to buy another house, truth be told. Plus, there’s the whole issue of a lease. I don’t want to be committed to anything when I’m hoping any day now
