“I can’t hurt my family.” She pressed her lips together before taking a deep breath. “You have no idea how much my mother’s death devastated my family. And it was my fault she was taken from them. I can’t break their hearts again and leave them, too. Can’t you understand that?”
He dropped her hand and took a step back from her. “So you will break my heart instead.”
“That is the last thing I want to do,” she cried, frustration and upset nearly overcoming her. “But what else can I do? How do I give up the people I love without care or thought, putting my own desires first? I just can’t, as much as I might desperately want to.”
“Very well then.” He bowed to her, his posture distant and formal. “Clearly, you’ve made up your mind and I shall not try to convince you further. I will escort you back to my house and ensure your and your aunt’s safe passage back to London. Then we shall have no further interaction with each other.”
“What of the gazette?”
“Ah yes, your precious publication.” His jaw was clenched and there was such coldness in his eyes. “Don’t worry, Lady Olivia. I am a businessman first and foremost, even if I did try to deviate from that with you. I will honor our agreement and stay as a silent partner, for I do expect it will make me money. Now come. Your aunt will be worried.”
And with that, he stalked off ahead, his entire body rigid as he navigated through the forest. With each step Livie took, following him, her heart withered away, bit by bit, and a horrible sinking sensation in her stomach nearly made her gag. For she feared she had just made a decision that she would forever regret. But what else could she have done? Loving the Bastard of Baker Street was always going to get her heart broken. She just never realized how agonizing it would be, until this very moment.
Chapter Fifty-One
“Is everything all right, my daughter?”
Slowly, Livie turned her gaze from the rain-splattered windowpane to glance over at her father, who stood in the doorway of the sitting room, concern etched in the creases around his eyes. “I’m fine, Father. Why do you ask?”
Of course, she was anything but fine, her heart broken since her return to London a fortnight ago. Even the smashing success of the first edition of the gazette being released and selling over thirty thousand copies had done little to appease her melancholy.
Although, her day had brightened yesterday when Etta had visited with news that Daverell had fled to the continent, his engagement called off by the Duke of Bremmley after news had broken in the gazette of Daverell’s financial woes and philandering.
But even with that, and the news that Lord Chilton had been arrested for his involvement in conspiring to conceal Alice’s murder, Livie still woke every morning with regret heavy in her heart and Sebastian’s image haunting her dreams.
But what else could she have done but rebuff his love? Her aunt had been right; her actions would have consequences for all those around her. How could she have placed her own selfish wants and needs before those of all her family and friends?
Her father walked over to her, his long stride covering the space with ease. He sat beside her and picked up her hand, his blue eyes probing her own. “You haven’t been the same since your trip to the country with Demelza and all that occurred.”
When they’d arrived back in London, both Livie and Demelza had had to apprise her father and brothers of what had transpired, particularly as both would most likely have to give evidence in Lord Chilton’s trial. So her father knew most of the happenings at Sebastian’s estate, but obviously Livie had told no one, not even Etta, about what had arisen between Seb and her.
“Did something else happen, Livie, that you haven’t told me about? Something to make you so desperately unhappy?”
There was such understanding in her father’s eyes that, before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face, and she buried her head in his chest just as she used to when she was young. His arms wrapped around her tightly, so strong and comforting, that Livie’s tears began falling in earnest.
“There, there, my darling girl,” he soothed, holding her as a torrent of her tears unleashed. “Everything will be all right. I am here for you, no matter what.”
Livie had no idea how long they sat there, while she cried her heart out and her father simply held her close, until she had no tears left.
“Did someone hurt you, my daughter?” He squeezed her hand tightly. “If so, you can tell me without fear.”
Raising her head, she wiped away the wetness from her cheeks. “No, it is nothing like that, Father. In fact, it was I who did the hurting. You see, I’ve fallen in love with the most unsuitable man in the world.”
Her father was quiet for a moment. “Sebastian Colver?”
“I really am an open book, aren’t I?” She laughed without mirth. “I should try to mask my emotions more. But, yes, I am in love with Sebastian.” How could she deny the truth to her father? “Now can you understand why I’ve been so miserable? To love someone who you can never be with… ’Tis torture.”
“He does not return your love, then?”
The very image of Sebastian declaring his love and trying to convince her they could make being together work, sent a fresh shaft of pain through her. She glanced out the window, unable to look her father in the eyes. “He does. Or at least he did before I rebuffed him. I doubt he still feels the same way now, though.”
“I wouldn’t have thought Colver to be a fickle man,” her father said.
“He’s not,” Livie replied, watching as the rain continued to pummel the glass. “But after I rejected him, I imagine he’s steeled
