“I want you too, Sebastian,” she quietly stated.
Hope flared in his eyes, but then a shuttered expression closed down upon them. “You’re not the sort of girl one tangles with, Livie. You and I can never be. You do understand that, don’t you?”
She took in a deep breath, very aware of the truth in his words. “Of course I do. I also know I will never marry. Which means the only way I will ever know what it’s like to experience physical pleasure is right here. Right now. With you.”
Boldly, she reached up to the buttons of his shirt, and with a quick flick of her fingers she unbuttoned the top button, her hand brushing across his bare skin underneath.
Seb sucked in a sharp breath. “What are you doing?”
“Enjoying myself,” she replied, continuing to undo all of the remaining buttons. “Probably for the first time in my life. Besides, you unbuttoned my nightgown. I think it only fair I repay the favor. Don’t you?” Her hand trembled slightly as she came to the last button and opened his shirt fully, exposing the hard planes of his abdomen and upper body, and the dragon boldly tattooed on his upper right chest.
She marveled at it and in seeing the broad expanse of his chest, lightly covered with a scattering of golden chest hair. Livie hadn’t really seen a man’s chest before, and Seb’s was a mighty fine specimen to behold; thrilling in fact. “Did it hurt getting such a tattoo on your chest?” It was a bold black dragon, staring defiantly at her.
“A little.” He shrugged. “But it meant I belonged and protected me in a sense.”
“It’s magnificent.” Reaching her hands up the muscular expanse of his chest, Livie skimmed her hands across his ridiculously wide shoulders before slipping them under his shirt and pushing it off his torso until he was bare from the waist up.
Livie could have sighed, for he looked so very masculine and delectable, but then she noticed the enormous number of scars and old wounds marring his bronzed skin. Some small, others a great deal larger.
Her fingers traced over them and she began to kiss each and every one.
He exhaled harshly.
“Damn it, Livie. I’ve always had a code to never seduce an innocent young woman. I don’t ever want to disrespect a woman.”
She paused kissing each of his old wounds and raised her head. “How could showing me pleasure and seeing my wishes fulfilled ever be disrespectful? I am a grown woman, Sebastian. Not some young debutante, who has no idea of what she’s doing or that she is being unknowingly seduced and debauched.” Livie licked her lips, which were feeling suddenly dry. Was she really about to try to convince the Bastard of Baker Street to pleasure her? Could she really give him her virginity?
Doubts started to swirl in her head, but then she saw her future stretched before her—endless balls, soirées, and Society functions she would be forever expected to attend, and then knew without a doubt that she would forever remember this moment and forever regret it if she didn’t take action.
“I want you, Sebastian Colver, and I know exactly what that means,” Livie said, feeling much more confident and certain. “I’m not asking for a future with you, something we both know is impossible. I just want tonight. Show me what it feels like to be a woman, fully. Please?”
He clenched his eyes shut, his whole body fighting a battle, it seemed. Then he inhaled sharply and opened his eyes. “Are you certain, Livie? Entirely certain? And with me of all people?”
Reaching her hand up, she stroked the side of his face. “I have never felt as attracted to anyone as I do to you, nor have I ever enjoyed a man’s company more. So, yes, Sebastian Colver, I am entirely certain I want you to show me pleasure. You and only you.”
Chapter Forty-One
Sebastian’s nostrils flared, and he jerked his head in a nod. “As you wish, my lady.” He reached around her and pulled her gown back onto her shoulders, though didn’t button it up, and then, before she could gather what he was about, he stood, cradling her in his arms, and stalked from the library.
Navigating the dimly lit hallways with stealth and speed, almost like a cat, Seb climbed the stairs with her nestled against his chest, and then a minute later he stopped in front of what was presumably his bedroom door.
“Are you certain, Livie?” There was such concern and hope warring in his expression as he held her that it completely eased her mind. She reached up and kissed him.
“Quite certain,” she whispered against his lips.
Nodding, he seemed to finally accept what she was asking of him as he opened his bedroom door and carried her over the threshold. He kicked the door shut behind them with the heel of his boot, and then carried her over to his four-poster bed.
There was still a lamp glowing softly, casting a small shimmer of light into the room; enough to still see everything, though without the harsh glare of the overhead light. It rendered the room intimate and cozy, and as Seb lay her down with such care onto his enormous mattress, Livie felt shy and pulled her dressing gown tightly across her chest.
It had just dawned on her that doing what they were about to do, he’d soon be seeing her leg without any clothes covering it, and even though not in full light, she imagined he’d still think the scar across it hideous.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, a glimmer of concern in his gaze as he obviously sensed her unease, while he lay down next to her. “We can stop if you want to.”
“No, I don’t want to stop. It’s just…” She didn’t want to tell him, but not doing so would be cowardly. She twisted onto her side to face him and took a moment to steel her courage. “I’m worried that
