The Taming of the Shrew

her lips with such a clamorous smack
That at the parting all the church did echo:
And I seeing this came thence for very shame;
And after me, I know, the rout is coming.
Such a mad marriage never was before:
Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play. Music. Re-enter Petruchio, Katharina, Bianca, Baptista, Hortensio, Grumio, and Train. Petruchio

Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains:
I know you think to dine with me to-day,
And have prepared great store of wedding cheer;
But so it is, my haste doth call me hence,
And therefore here I mean to take my leave.

Baptista Is’t possible you will away to-night? Petruchio

I must away to-day, before night come:
Make it no wonder; if you knew my business,
You would entreat me rather go than stay.
And, honest company, I thank you all,
That have beheld me give away myself
To this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife:
Dine with my father, drink a health to me;
For I must hence; and farewell to you all.

Tranio Let us entreat you stay till after dinner. Petruchio It may not be. Gremio Let me entreat you. Petruchio It cannot be. Katharina Let me entreat you. Petruchio I am content. Katharina Are you content to stay? Petruchio

I am content you shall entreat me stay;
But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.

Katharina Now, if you love me, stay. Petruchio Grumio, my horse. Grumio Ay, sir, they be ready: the oats have eaten the horses. Katharina

Nay, then,
Do what thou canst, I will not go to-day;
No, nor to-morrow, not till I please myself.
The door is open, sir; there lies your way;
You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;
For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself:
’Tis like you’ll prove a jolly surly groom,
That take it on you at the first so roundly.

Petruchio O, Kate, content thee; prithee, be not angry. Katharina

I will be angry: what hast thou to do?
Father, be quiet: he shall stay my leisure.

Gremio Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work. KATARINA

Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner:
I see a woman may be made a fool,
If she had not a spirit to resist.

Petruchio

They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.
Obey the bride, you that attend on her;
Go to the feast, revel and domineer,
Carouse full measure to her maidenhead,
Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves:
But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.
Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;
I will be master of what is mine own:
She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house,
My household stuff, my field, my barn,
My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing;
And here she stands, touch her whoever dare;
I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he
That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,
Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves;
Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.
Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch thee, Kate:
I’ll buckler thee against a million. Exeunt Petruchio, Katharina, and Grumio.

Baptista Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones. Gremio Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing. Tranio Of all mad matches never was the like. Lucentio Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister? Bianca That, being mad herself, she’s madly mated. Gremio I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated. Baptista

Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants
For to supply the places at the table,
You know there wants no junkets at the feast.
Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place;
And let Bianca take her sister’s room.

Tranio Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it? Baptista She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go. Exeunt.

Act IV

Scene I

Petruchio’s country house.

	Enter Grumio.
Grumio	Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis.
	Enter Curtis.
Curtis	Who is that calls so coldly?
Grumio	A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire good Curtis.
Curtis	Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
Grumio	O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast on no water.
Curtis	Is she so hot a shrew as she’s reported?
Grumio	She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but, thou knowest, winter tames man, woman and beast; for it hath tamed my old master and my new mistress and myself, fellow Curtis.
Curtis	Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.
Grumio	Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand, she being now at hand, thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office?
Curtis	I prithee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?
Grumio	A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
Curtis	There’s fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news.
Grumio	Why, “Jack, boy! ho! boy!” and as much news as will thaw.
Curtis	Come, you are so full of cony-catching!
Grumio	Why, therefore fire; for I have caught extreme cold. Where’s the cook? is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and