The Two Gentlemen of Verona

welcome:
I’ll leave you to confer of home affairs;
When you have done, we look to hear from you. Proteus We’ll both attend upon your ladyship. Exeunt Silvia and Thurio. Valentine Now, tell me, how do all from whence you came? Proteus Your friends are well and have them much commended. Valentine And how do yours? Proteus I left them all in health. Valentine How does your lady? and how thrives your love? Proteus

My tales of love were wont to weary you;
I know you joy not in a love-discourse.

Valentine

Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter’d now:
I have done penance for contemning Love,
Whose high imperious thoughts have punish’d me
With bitter fasts, with penitential groans,
With nightly tears and daily heart-sore sighs;
For in revenge of my contempt of love,
Love hath chased sleep from my enthralled eyes
And made them watchers of mine own heart’s sorrow.
O gentle Proteus, Love’s a mighty lord
And hath so humbled me as I confess
There is no woe to his correction
Nor to his service no such joy on earth.
Now no discourse, except it be of love;
Now can I break my fast, dine, sup and sleep,
Upon the very naked name of love.

Proteus

Enough; I read your fortune in your eye.
Was this the idol that you worship so?

Valentine Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint? Proteus No; but she is an earthly paragon. Valentine Call her divine. Proteus I will not flatter her. Valentine O, flatter me; for love delights in praises. Proteus

When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills,
And I must minister the like to you.

Valentine

Then speak the truth by her; if not divine,
Yet let her be a principality,
Sovereign to all the creatures on the earth.

Proteus Except my mistress. Valentine

Sweet, except not any;
Except thou wilt except against my love.

Proteus Have I not reason to prefer mine own? Valentine

And I will help thee to prefer her too:
She shall be dignified with this high honour⁠—
To bear my lady’s train, lest the base earth
Should from her vesture chance to steal a kiss
And, of so great a favour growing proud,
Disdain to root the summer-swelling flower
And make rough winter everlastingly.

Proteus Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this? Valentine

Pardon me, Proteus: all I can is nothing
To her whose worth makes other worthies nothing;
She is alone.

Proteus Then let her alone. Valentine

Not for the world: why, man, she is mine own,
And I as rich in having such a jewel
As twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl,
The water nectar and the rocks pure gold.
Forgive me that I do not dream on thee,
Because thou see’st me dote upon my love.
My foolish rival, that her father likes
Only for his possessions are so huge,
Is gone with her along, and I must after,
For love, thou know’st, is full of jealousy.

Proteus But she loves you? Valentine

Ay, and we are betroth’d: nay, more, our marriage-hour,
With all the cunning manner of our flight,
Determined of; how I must climb her window,
The ladder made of cords, and all the means
Plotted and ’greed on for my happiness.
Good Proteus, go with me to my chamber,
In these affairs to aid me with thy counsel.

Proteus

Go on before; I shall inquire you forth:
I must unto the road, to disembark
Some necessaries that I needs must use,
And then I’ll presently attend you.

Valentine Will you make haste? Proteus

I will. Exit Valentine.
Even as one heat another heat expels,
Or as one nail by strength drives out another,
So the remembrance of my former love
Is by a newer object quite forgotten.
Is it mine, or Valentine’s praise,
Her true perfection, or my false transgression,
That makes me reasonless to reason thus?
She is fair; and so is Julia that I love⁠—
That I did love, for now my love is thaw’d;
Which, like a waxen image, ’gainst a fire,
Bears no impression of the thing it was.
Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold,
And that I love him not as I was wont.
O, but I love his lady too too much,
And that’s the reason I love him so little.
How shall I dote on her with more advice,
That thus without advice begin to love her!
’Tis but her picture I have yet beheld,
And that hath dazzled my reason’s light;
But when I look on her perfections,
There is no reason but I shall be blind.
If I can check my erring love, I will;
If not, to compass her I’ll use my skill. Exit.

Scene V

The same. A street.

	Enter Speed and Launce severally.
Speed	Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
Launce	Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess say “Welcome!”
Speed	Come on, you madcap, I’ll to the alehouse with you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia?
Launce	Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest.
Speed	But shall she marry him?
Launce	No.
Speed	How then? shall he marry her?
Launce	No, neither.
Speed	What, are they broken?
Launce	No, they are both as whole as a fish.
Speed	Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
Launce	Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it stands well with her.
Speed	What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
Launce	What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff understands me.
Speed	What thou sayest?
Launce	Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I’ll but lean, and my staff understands me.
Speed	It stands under thee, indeed.
Launce	Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
Speed	But tell me true, will’t be a match?
Launce	Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
Speed	The conclusion is then that it will.
Launce	Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
Speed	’Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest thou, that my master is become a notable lover?
Launce	I never knew him otherwise.
Speed	Than