As You Like It

would I were at home. Celia

We’ll lead you thither.
I pray you, will you take him by the arm?

Oliver Be of good cheer, youth: you a man! you lack a man’s heart. Rosalind I do so, I confess it. Ah, sirrah, a body would think this was well counterfeited! I pray you, tell your brother how well I counterfeited. Heigh-ho! Oliver This was not counterfeit: there is too great testimony in your complexion that it was a passion of earnest. Rosalind Counterfeit, I assure you. Oliver Well then, take a good heart and counterfeit to be a man. Rosalind So I do: but, i’ faith, I should have been a woman by right. Celia Come, you look paler and paler: pray you, draw homewards. Good sir, go with us. Oliver

That will I, for I must bear answer back
How you excuse my brother, Rosalind.

Rosalind I shall devise something: but, I pray you, commend my counterfeiting to him. Will you go? Exeunt.

Act V

Scene I

The forest.

	Enter Touchstone and Audrey.
Touchstone	We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey.
Audrey	Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old gentleman’s saying.
Touchstone	A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to you.
Audrey	Ay, I know who ’tis; he hath no interest in me in the world: here comes the man you mean.
Touchstone	It is meat and drink to me to see a clown: by my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
	Enter William.
William	Good even, Audrey.
Audrey	God ye good even, William.
William	And good even to you, sir.
Touchstone	Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?
William	Five and twenty, sir.
Touchstone	A ripe age. Is thy name William?
William	William, sir.
Touchstone	A fair name. Wast born i’ the forest here?
William	Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touchstone	“Thank God;” a good answer. Art rich?
William	Faith, sir, so so.
Touchstone	“So so” is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?
William	Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touchstone	Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a saying, “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?
William	I do, sir.
Touchstone	Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
William	No, sir.
Touchstone	Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
William	Which he, sir?
Touchstone	He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon⁠—which is in the vulgar leave⁠—the society⁠—which in the boorish is company⁠—of this female⁠—which in the common is woman; which together is, abandon the society of this female, or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; or, to wit I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o’errun thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways: therefore tremble and depart.
Audrey	Do, good William.
William	God rest you merry, sir. Exit.
	Enter Corin.
Corin	Our master and mistress seeks you; come, away, away!
Touchstone	Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend. Exeunt.

Scene II

The forest.

	Enter Orlando and Oliver.
Orlando	Is’t possible that on so little acquaintance you should like her? that but seeing you should love her? and loving woo? and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persever to enjoy her?
Oliver	Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her that she loves me; consent with both that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good; for my father’s house and all the revenue that was old Sir Rowland’s will I estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd.
Orlando	You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke and all’s contented followers. Go you and prepare Aliena; for look you, here comes my Rosalind.
	Enter Rosalind.
Rosalind	God save you, brother.
Oliver	And you, fair sister. Exit.
Rosalind	O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf!
Orlando	It is my arm.
Rosalind	I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion.
Orlando	Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
Rosalind	Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to swoon when he showed me your handkerchief?
Orlando	Ay, and greater wonders than that.
Rosalind	O, I know where you are: nay, ’tis true: there was never any thing so sudden but the fight of two rams and Caesar’s thrasonical brag of “I came, saw, and overcame:” for your brother and my sister no sooner met but they looked, no sooner looked but they loved, no sooner loved but they sighed, no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason, no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy; and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before marriage: they are in the very wrath of love and they will together; clubs cannot part them.
Orlando	They shall be