An Ideal Husband

wife the whole story. Sir Robert Chiltern That I will not do. Lord Goring Robert, believe me, you are wrong. Sir Robert Chiltern I couldn’t do it. It would kill her love for me. And now about this woman, this Mrs. Cheveley. How can I defend myself against her? You knew her before, Arthur, apparently. Lord Goring Yes. Sir Robert Chiltern Did you know her well? Lord Goring Arranging his necktie. So little that I got engaged to be married to her once, when I was staying at the Tenbys’. The affair lasted for three days⁠ ⁠… nearly. Sir Robert Chiltern Why was it broken off? Lord Goring Airily. Oh, I forget. At least, it makes no matter. By the way, have you tried her with money? She used to be confoundedly fond of money. Sir Robert Chiltern I offered her any sum she wanted. She refused. Lord Goring Then the marvellous gospel of gold breaks down sometimes. The rich can’t do everything, after all. Sir Robert Chiltern Not everything. I suppose you are right. Arthur, I feel that public disgrace is in store for me. I feel certain of it. I never knew what terror was before. I know it now. It is as if a hand of ice were laid upon one’s heart. It is as if one’s heart were beating itself to death in some empty hollow. Lord Goring Striking the table. Robert, you must fight her. You must fight her. Sir Robert Chiltern But how? Lord Goring I can’t tell you how at present. I have not the smallest idea. But everyone has some weak point. There is some flaw in each one of us. Strolls to the fireplace and looks at himself in the glass. My father tells me that even I have faults. Perhaps I have. I don’t know. Sir Robert Chiltern In defending myself against Mrs. Cheveley, I have a right to use any weapon I can find, have I not? Lord Goring Still looking in the glass. In your place I don’t think I should have the smallest scruple in doing so. She is thoroughly well able to take care of herself. Sir Robert Chiltern Sits down at the table and takes a pen in his hand. Well, I shall send a cipher telegram to the Embassy at Vienna, to inquire if there is anything known against her. There may be some secret scandal she might be afraid of. Lord Goring Settling his buttonhole. Oh, I should fancy Mrs. Cheveley is one of those very modern women of our time who find a new scandal as becoming as a new bonnet, and air them both in the Park every afternoon at five-thirty. I am sure she adores scandals, and that the sorrow of her life at present is that she can’t manage to have enough of them. Sir Robert Chiltern Writing. Why do you say that? Lord Goring Turning round. Well, she wore far too much rouge last night, and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. Sir Robert Chiltern Striking a bell. But it is worth while my wiring to Vienna, is it not? Lord Goring It is always worth while asking a question, though it is not always worth while answering one. Enter Mason. Sir Robert Chiltern Is Mr. Trafford in his room? Mason Yes, Sir Robert. Sir Robert Chiltern Puts what he has written into an envelope, which he then carefully closes. Tell him to have this sent off in cipher at once. There must not be a moment’s delay. Mason Yes, Sir Robert. Sir Robert Chiltern Oh! just give that back to me again. Writes something on the envelope. Mason then goes out with the letter. Sir Robert Chiltern She must have had some curious hold over Baron Arnheim. I wonder what it was. Lord Goring Smiling. I wonder. Sir Robert Chiltern I will fight her to the death, as long as my wife knows nothing. Lord Goring Strongly. Oh, fight in any case⁠—in any case. Sir Robert Chiltern With a gesture of despair. If my wife found out, there would be little left to fight for. Well, as soon as I hear from Vienna, I shall let you know the result. It is a chance, just a chance, but I believe in it. And as I fought the age with its own weapons, I will fight her with her weapons. It is only fair, and she looks like a woman with a past, doesn’t she? Lord Goring Most pretty women do. But there is a fashion in pasts just as there is a fashion in frocks. Perhaps Mrs. Cheveley’s past is merely a slightly décolleté one, and they are excessively popular nowadays. Besides, my dear Robert, I should not build too high hopes on frightening Mrs. Cheveley. I should not fancy Mrs. Cheveley is a woman who would be easily frightened. She has survived all her creditors, and she shows wonderful presence of mind. Sir Robert Chiltern Oh! I live on hopes now. I clutch at every chance. I feel like a man on a ship that is sinking. The water is round my feet, and the very air is bitter with storm. Hush! I hear my wife’s voice. Enter Lady Chiltern in walking dress. Lady Chiltern Good afternoon, Lord Goring! Lord Goring Good afternoon, Lady Chiltern! Have you been in the Park? Lady Chiltern No; I have just come from the Woman’s Liberal Association, where, by the way, Robert, your name was received with loud applause, and now I have come in to have my tea. To Lord Goring. You will wait and have some tea, won’t you? Lord Goring I’ll wait for a short time, thanks. Lady Chiltern I will be back in a moment. I am only going to take my hat off. Lord Goring In his most earnest manner. Oh! please don’t. It is so pretty. One of the prettiest hats I ever saw. I hope the Woman’s Liberal Association received it with loud applause. Lady Chiltern With a smile. We have much more important work to do than look at each other’s bonnets,