Hamlet

in fine
Makes vow before his uncle never more
To give the assay of arms against your majesty.
Whereon old Norway, overcome with joy,
Gives him three thousand crowns in annual fee,
And his commission to employ those soldiers,
So levied as before, against the Polack:
With an entreaty, herein further shown, Giving a paper.
That it might please you to give quiet pass
Through your dominions for this enterprise,
On such regards of safety and allowance
As therein are set down. King

It likes us well;
And at our more consider’d time well read,
Answer, and think upon this business.
Meantime we thank you for your well-took labour:
Go to your rest; at night we’ll feast together:
Most welcome home! Exeunt Voltimand and Cornelius.

Polonius

This business is well ended.
My liege, and madam, to expostulate
What majesty should be, what duty is,
Why day is day, night night, and time is time,
Were nothing but to waste night, day and time.
Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief: your noble son is mad:
Mad call I it; for, to define true madness,
What is’t but to be nothing else but mad?
But let that go.

Queen More matter, with less art. Polonius

Madam, I swear I use no art at all.
That he is mad, ’tis true: ’tis true ’tis pity;
And pity ’tis ’tis true: a foolish figure;
But farewell it, for I will use no art.
Mad let us grant him, then: and now remains
That we find out the cause of this effect,
Or rather say, the cause of this defect,
For this effect defective comes by cause:
Thus it remains, and the remainder thus.
Perpend.
I have a daughter⁠—have while she is mine⁠—
Who, in her duty and obedience, mark,
Hath given me this: now gather, and surmise. Reads.

“To the celestial and my soul’s idol, the most beautified Ophelia,”⁠—

That’s an ill phrase, a vile phrase; “beautified” is a vile phrase: but you shall hear. Thus: Reads.

“In her excellent white bosom, these, etc.”

Queen Came this from Hamlet to her? Polonius

Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful. Reads.

“Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.

“O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers; I have not art to reckon my groans: but that I love thee best, O most best, believe it. Adieu.

“Thine evermore most dear lady, whilst this machine is to him, Hamlet.”

This, in obedience, hath my daughter shown me,
And more above, hath his solicitings,
As they fell out by time, by means and place,
All given to mine ear.

King

But how hath she
Received his love?

Polonius What do you think of me? King As of a man faithful and honourable. Polonius

I would fain prove so. But what might you think,
When I had seen this hot love on the wing⁠—
As I perceived it, I must tell you that,
Before my daughter told me⁠—what might you,
Or my dear majesty your queen here, think,
If I had play’d the desk or table-book,
Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb,
Or look’d upon this love with idle sight;
What might you think? No, I went round to work,
And my young mistress thus I did bespeak:
“Lord Hamlet is a prince, out of thy star;
This must not be:” and then I precepts gave her,
That she should lock herself from his resort,
Admit no messengers, receive no tokens.
Which done, she took the fruits of my advice;
And he, repulsed⁠—a short tale to make⁠—
Fell into a sadness, then into a fast,
Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness,
Thence to a lightness, and, by this declension,
Into the madness wherein now he raves,
And all we mourn for.

King Do you think ’tis this? Queen It may be, very likely. Polonius

Hath there been such a time⁠—I’d fain know that⁠—
That I have positively said “ ’Tis so,”
When it proved otherwise?

King Not that I know. Polonius

Pointing to his head and shoulder. Take this from this, if this be otherwise:
If circumstances lead me, I will find
Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed
Within the centre.

King How may we try it further? Polonius

You know, sometimes he walks four hours together
Here in the lobby.

Queen So he does indeed. Polonius

At such a time I’ll loose my daughter to him:
Be you and I behind an arras then;
Mark the encounter: if he love her not
And be not from his reason fall’n thereon,
Let me be no assistant for a state,
But keep a farm and carters.

King We will try it. Queen But, look, where sadly the poor wretch comes reading. Polonius

Away, I do beseech you, both away:
I’ll board him presently. Exeunt King, Queen, and Attendants.

Enter Hamlet, reading.

O, give me leave:
How does my good Lord Hamlet?

Hamlet Well, God-a-mercy. Polonius Do you know me, my lord? Hamlet Excellent well; you are a fishmonger. Polonius Not I, my lord. Hamlet Then I would you were so honest a man. Polonius Honest, my lord! Hamlet Ay, sir; to be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand. Polonius That’s very true, my lord. Hamlet For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a god kissing carrion⁠—Have you a daughter? Polonius I have, my lord. Hamlet Let her not walk i’ the sun: conception is a blessing: but not as your daughter may conceive. Friend, look to’t. Polonius Aside. How say you by that? Still harping on my daughter: yet he knew me not at first; he said I was a fishmonger: he is far gone, far gone: and truly in my youth I suffered much extremity for love; very near this. I’ll speak to him again. What do you read, my lord? Hamlet Words, words, words. Polonius What is the matter, my lord? Hamlet Between who? Polonius I mean, the matter that you read, my lord. Hamlet Slanders, sir: for the satirical rogue says here that old men have grey beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging thick amber and plum-tree gum and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams: all which, sir, though I most powerfully and potently