The Way of the World

would have him ever to continue upon the rack of fear and jealousy. Mrs. Fainall Ingenious mischief! Would thou wert married to Mirabell. Mrs. Marwood Would I were. Mrs. Fainall You change colour. Mrs. Marwood Because I hate him. Mrs. Fainall So do I; but I can hear him named. But what reason have you to hate him in particular? Mrs. Marwood I never loved him; he is, and always was, insufferably proud. Mrs. Fainall By the reason you give for your aversion, one would think it dissembled; for you have laid a fault to his charge, of which his enemies must acquit him. Mrs. Marwood Oh, then it seems you are one of his favourable enemies! Methinks you look a little pale, and now you flush again. Mrs. Fainall Do I? I think I am a little sick o’ the sudden. Mrs. Marwood What ails you? Mrs. Fainall My husband. Don’t you see him? He turned short upon me unawares, and has almost overcome me. Enter Fainall and Mirabell. Mrs. Marwood Ha, ha, ha! He comes opportunely for you. Mrs. Fainall For you, for he has brought Mirabell with him. Fainall My dear! Mrs. Fainall My soul! Fainall You don’t look well today, child. Mrs. Fainall D’ye think so? Mirabell He is the only man that does, madam. Mrs. Fainall The only man that would tell me so at least, and the only man from whom I could hear it without mortification. Fainall Oh, my dear, I am satisfied of your tenderness; I know you cannot resent anything from me; especially what is an effect of my concern. Mrs. Fainall Mr. Mirabell, my mother interrupted you in a pleasant relation last night: I would fain hear it out. Mirabell The persons concerned in that affair have yet a tolerable reputation.⁠—I am afraid Mr. Fainall will be censorious. Mrs. Fainall He has a humour more prevailing than his curiosity, and will willingly dispense with the hearing of one scandalous story, to avoid giving an occasion to make another by being seen to walk with his wife. This way, Mr. Mirabell, and I dare promise you will oblige us both. Exeunt Mrs. Fainall and Mirabell. Fainall Excellent creature! Well, sure, if I should live to be rid of my wife, I should be a miserable man. Mrs. Marwood Aye? Fainall For having only that one hope, the accomplishment of it of consequence must put an end to all my hopes, and what a wretch is he who must survive his hopes! Nothing remains when that day comes but to sit down and weep like Alexander when he wanted other worlds to conquer. Mrs. Marwood Will you not follow ’em? Fainall Faith, I think not, Mrs. Marwood Pray let us; I have a reason. Fainall You are not jealous? Mrs. Marwood Of whom? Fainall Of Mirabell. Mrs. Marwood If I am, is it inconsistent with my love to you that I am tender of your honour? Fainall You would intimate then, as if there were a fellow-feeling between my wife and him? Mrs. Marwood I think she does not hate him to that degree she would be thought. Fainall But he, I fear, is too insensible. Mrs. Marwood It may be you are deceived. Fainall It may be so. I do not now begin to apprehend it. Mrs. Marwood What? Fainall That I have been deceived, madam, and you are false. Mrs. Marwood That I am false? What mean you? Fainall To let you know I see through all your little arts.⁠—Come, you both love him, and both have equally dissembled your aversion. Your mutual jealousies of one another have made you clash till you have both struck fire. I have seen the warm confession reddening on your cheeks, and sparkling from your eyes. Mrs. Marwood You do me wrong. Fainall I do not. ’Twas for my ease to oversee and wilfully neglect the gross advances made him by my wife, that by permitting her to be engaged, I might continue unsuspected in my pleasures, and take you oftener to my arms in full security. But could you think, because the nodding husband would not wake, that e’er the watchful lover slept? Mrs. Marwood And wherewithal can you reproach me? Fainall With infidelity, with loving another, with love of Mirabell. Mrs. Marwood ’Tis false. I challenge you to show an instance that can confirm your groundless accusation. I hate him. Fainall And wherefore do you hate him? He is insensible, and your resentment follows his neglect. An instance? The injuries you have done him are a proof: your interposing in his love. What cause had you to make discoveries of his pretended passion? To undeceive the credulous aunt, and be the officious obstacle of his match with Millamant? Mrs. Marwood My obligations to my lady urged me: I had professed a friendship to her, and could not see her easy nature so abused by that dissembler. Fainall What, was it conscience then? Professed a friendship! Oh, the pious friendships of the female sex! Mrs. Marwood More tender, more sincere, and more enduring, than all the vain and empty vows of men, whether professing love to us or mutual faith to one another. Fainall Ha, ha, ha! yyu are my wife’s friend too. Mrs. Marwood Shame and ingratitude! Do you reproach me? You, you upbraid me? Have I been false to her, through strict fidelity to you, and sacrificed my friendship to keep my love inviolate? And have you the baseness to charge me with the guilt, unmindful of the merit? To you it should be meritorious that I have been vicious. And do you reflect that guilt upon me which should lie buried in your bosom? Fainall You misinterpret my reproof. I meant but to remind you of the slight account you once could make of strictest ties when set in competition with your love to me. Mrs. Marwood ’Tis false, you urged it with deliberate malice. ’Twas spoke in scorn, and I never will forgive it. Fainall Your guilt, not your resentment, begets your rage. If yet you loved, you could forgive a jealousy: but you are stung to find you are discovered. Mrs. Marwood It shall be all discovered. You too shall be discovered; be sure you shall. I can but be exposed. If I do it myself I shall prevent your baseness. Fainall Why, what will you do? Mrs. Marwood Disclose it to your wife; own what has past between us. Fainall Frenzy! Mrs. Marwood By all my wrongs I’ll do’t. I’ll publish to the world