Much Ado About Nothing
By William Shakespeare.
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Dramatis Personae
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Don Pedro, Prince of Arragon
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Don John, his bastard brother
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Claudio, a young lord of Florence
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Benedick, a young lord of Padua
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Leonato, governor of Messina
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Antonio, his brother
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Balthasar, attendant to Don Pedro
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Conrade, follower of Don John
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Borachio, follower of Don John
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Friar Francis
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Dogberry, a constable
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Verges, a headborough
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A sexton
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A boy
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Hero, daughter to Leonato
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Beatrice, niece to Leonato
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Margaret, gentlewoman attending on Hero
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Ursula, gentlewoman attending on Hero
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Messengers, watch, attendants, etc.
Scene: Messina
Much Ado About Nothing
Act I
Scene I
Before Leonato’s House.
Enter Leonato, Hero, and Beatrice, with a Messenger. | |
Leonato | I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina. |
Messenger | He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him. |
Leonato | How many gentlemen have you lost in this action? |
Messenger | But few of any sort, and none of name. |
Leonato | A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio. |
Messenger | Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how. |
Leonato | He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it. |
Messenger | I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness. |
Leonato | Did he break out into tears? |
Messenger | In great measure. |
Leonato | A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping! |
Beatrice | I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no? |
Messenger | I know none of that name, lady: there was none such in the army of any sort. |
Leonato | What is he that you ask for, niece? |
Hero | My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua. |
Messenger | O, he’s returned; and as pleasant as ever he was. |
Beatrice | He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight; and my uncle’s fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing. |
Leonato | Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he’ll be meet with you, I doubt it not. |
Messenger | He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. |
Beatrice | You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an excellent stomach. |
Messenger | And a good soldier too, lady. |
Beatrice | And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord? |
Messenger | A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable virtues. |
Beatrice | It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man: but for the stuffing—well, we are all mortal. |
Leonato | You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between them. |
Beatrice | Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother. |
Messenger | Is’t possible? |
Beatrice | Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. |
Messenger | I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. |
Beatrice | No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil? |
Messenger | He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. |
Beatrice | O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost |