Our American Cousin

Our American Cousin

By Tom Taylor.

Table of Contents

1. Titlepage
2. Imprint
3. Dramatis Personae
4. Our American Cousin
   1. Act I
      1. Scene 1
      2. Scene 2
      3. Scene 3
   2. Act II
      1. Scene 1
      2. Scene 2
   3. Act III
      1. Scene 1
      2. Scene 2
      3. Scene 3
      4. Scene 4
      5. Scene 5
      6. Scene 6
      7. Scene 7
5. Colophon
6. Uncopyright

Imprint

This ebook is the product of many hours of hard work by volunteers for Standard Ebooks, and builds on the hard work of other literature lovers made possible by the public domain.

This particular ebook is based on a transcription produced for Project Gutenberg and on digital scans available at the Internet Archive.

The writing and artwork within are believed to be in the U.S. public domain, and Standard Ebooks releases this ebook edition under the terms in the CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication. For full license information, see the Uncopyright at the end of this ebook.

Standard Ebooks is a volunteer-driven project that produces ebook editions of public domain literature using modern typography, technology, and editorial standards, and distributes them free of cost. You can download this and other ebooks carefully produced for true book lovers at standardebooks.org.

Dramatis Personae

• Lord Dundreary

• Asa Trenchard

• Sir Edward Trenchard

• Capt. De Boots

• Harry Vernon

• Abel Murcott

• Mr. Coyle

• Mr. Buddicombe

• Mr. Binny

• John Wickens

• Mrs. Mountchessington

• Florence Trenchard

• Mary

• Augusta

• Georgina

• Sharpe

• Skillet

Our American Cousin

Act I

Scene 1

Drawing room in 3. Trenchard Manor, C. D., backed by interior, discovering table with luncheon spread. Large French window, R. 3 E., through which a fine English park is seen. Open archway, L. 3 E. Set balcony behind. Table, R., books and papers on it. Work basket containing wools and embroidery frame. A fashionable armchair and sofa, L. 2 E., small table near C. D. Stage handsomely set, costly furniture, carpet down, chairs, etc.

	Mr. Buddicombe discovered on sofa reading newspaper. Skillet and Sharpe busily arranging furniture as curtain rises.
Sharpe	I don’t know how you may feel as a visitor, Mr. Buddicombe, but I think this is a most uncomfortable family.
Mr. Buddicombe	Very uncomfortable. I have no curtain to my bed.
Skillet	And no wine at the second table.
Sharpe	And meaner servants I never seed.
Mr. Buddicombe	I’m afraid Sir Edward is in a queer strait.
Skillet	Yes, for only this morning, Mr. Binny, Mrs. Skillet says he⁠—
	Enter Mr. Binny, L. 3 E.
Mr. Binny	Mind your hown business instead hof your betters. I’m disgusted with you lower servants. When the wine merchant presents his bills, you men, hear me, say he’s been pressing for the last six months, do you?
Skillet	Nor I, that the last year’s milliner’s bills have not been paid.
Sharpe	Nor I, that Miss Florence has not had no new dresses from London all winter.
Mr. Buddicombe	And I can solemnly swear that his lordship’s hair has been faithfully bound in this bosom.
Mr. Binny	That’ll do, that’ll do; but to remember to check hidle curiosity is the first duty of men hin livery. Ha, ’ere hare the letters.
	Enter John Wickens, L. 3 E., with green baize bag. Mr. Binny takes bag, takes out letters and reads addresses.
Mr. Binny	Hah! bill, of course, Miss Augusta, Mrs. Mountchessington, Lord Dundreary, Captain De Boots, Miss Georgina Mountchessington, Lieutenant Vernon, ah! that’s from the admiralty. What’s this? Miss Florence Trenchard, via Brattleboro’, Vermont.
Mr. Buddicombe	Where’s that, Mr. Binny.
John Wickens	Why that be hin the United States of North Hamerica, and a main good place for poor folks.
Mr. Binny	John Wickens, you forget yourself.
John Wickens	Beg pardon, Mr. Binny.
Mr. Binny	John Wickens, leave the room.
John Wickens	But I know where Vermont be tho’.
Mr. Binny	John Wickens, get hout. Exit John Wickens, L. 3 E.
Mr. Buddicombe	Dreadful low fellow, that.
Mr. Binny	Halways himpudent.
Mr. Buddicombe	Looking at letter in Mr. Binny’s hand. Why, that is Sir Edward’s hand, Mr. Binny, he must have been sporting.
Mr. Binny	Yes, shooting the wild helephants and buffalos what abound there.
Mr. Buddicombe	The nasty beasts. Looking off, R. 2 E. Hello, there comes Miss Florence tearing across the lane like a three year old colt.
Sharp and Skillet	Oh, Gemini. Run off, R. 2 E. Mr. Buddicombe runs off, L. 2 E.
	Enter Florence Trenchard, R. 2 E.
Florence Trenchard	As if after running. Oh! I’m fairly out of breath. Good morning, Mr. Binny, the letter bag I saw coming, Wickens coming with it. I thought I could catch him before I reached the house. Sits R. So off I started, I forgot the pond, it was in or over. I got over, but my hat got in. I wish you’d fish it out for me, you won’t find the pond very deep.
Mr. Binny	Me fish for an ’at? Does she take me for an hangler?
Florence Trenchard	Give me the letters. Takes them. Ah, blessed budget that descends upon Trenchard Manor, like rain on a duck pond. Tell papa and all, that the letters have come, you will find them on the terrace.
Mr. Binny	Yes, Miss. Going, L. 3 E.
Florence Trenchard	And then go fish out my hat out of the pond, it’s not very deep.
Mr. Binny	Aside. Me fish for ’ats? I wonder if she takes me for an hangler? Exit disgusted, R. 3 E.
Florence Trenchard	Reading directions. Lieutenant Vernon. This is a large letter with a large white envelope, red seal. In her Majesty’s service. Admiralty, R. N. Ah, that’s an answer to Harry’s application for a ship. Papa promised to use his influence for him. I hope he has succeeded, but then he will have to leave us, and who knows if he ever comes back. What a foolish girl I am, when I know that his rise in the service will depend upon it. I do hope he’ll get it, and, if he must leave us, I’ll bid him goodbye as a lass who loves a sailor should.
	Enter Sir Edward Trenchard, Mrs. Mountchessington., Augusta, Capt. De Boots, Harry Vernon, L. 3 E.
Florence Trenchard	Papa, dear, here are letters for you, one for you, Mrs. Mountchessington, one for you, Capt. De