Not today though.
“Hector, go get prepped,” I said. “But hold off until we send word.”
“Understood,” he said, and left the room.
Bea stood up and stretched. “I’ll make coffee,” she said. “You look like you need it.”
“Thank you,” I said.
She left the room and quietly shut the door. I looked at Gian and he slowly shook his head.
“What a fucked-up situation,” he said.
“Is Ash okay?” I asked. “She’s safe?”
“I sent her out of town,” he said. “She’ll be all right. She’s got the nanny to help with the boy.”
“Good.” I nodded slightly. “Make sure they’re safe. I don’t want any blowback.”
“If shit goes right, it won’t matter.” Gian stood and stretched. “Fuck, Dean. I knew you taking over the family would be a pain in my ass, but I didn’t think it’d start this soon.”
I waved a hand at him dismissively. “Get the fuck out of here, you lazy asshole. Get your guys ready, but don’t make any moves yet. I need a few hours.”
“You got it,” he said, drifted to the door, and stopped. “When this is over, what are you going to do about Mags?”
I drummed my fingers on the desk. I’d been thinking that same thing ever since I realized what was going on, and I just kept coming back to the same conclusion.
I didn’t want to let her go.
“I’m a good Catholic,” I said. “Marriage is for life.”
Gian snorted. “Pretty sure they’ve got annulments for that.”
“I think that only applies when you haven’t consummated the relationship.”
He rolled his eyes. “Good for you, I guess. But just be careful, is all I’m saying.”
“I like the girl,” I said softly. “I plan on keeping her.”
“Good.” Gian nodded then left.
I found Mags sitting out back with her feet in the pool. She looked about as exhausted as I felt. An inflatable gorilla floated past and she nudged at it with her foot.
I crouched down next to her and touched her shoulder gently. “You doing okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine.” Her feet swished up and down in the water. “Just wondering how it got to this, you know?”
“I know,” I said softly. I sat down and took my shoes and socks off, rolled up my slacks, and sat with my legs touching hers. She leaned her shoulder against me, and we sat there for a little while as the sun rose. The water was cold on my skin and goosebumps rolled up my arms, and I wanted to stay in this moment for as long as I could, before the violence, before whatever would come next.
Right now, we were safe, and it felt good.
“What’s going to happen to my dad?” she asked.
“He’ll disappear,” I said, hoping Mattias already took care of him. “You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
She glanced at me, her lips pulled down into a frown. She opened her mouth to ask me something, and I wouldn’t lie to her, although I knew the truth would be bad. Instead though, she closed her lips again and shook her head, letting out a long breath.
“I don’t want to know,” she whispered down to the water. “Whatever you do, just don’t tell me.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, smiling slightly.
She kicked her legs up and let the water run off them and lowered her feet back down. “If I hadn’t married you, do you think all this would’ve happened?” she asked.
“Something like it,” I said. “Roy would’ve made his move. Your father would’ve still been a bastard.”
“But maybe he wouldn’t have sold me out.”
I nudged against her. “If I could change that for you, I would.”
“I know,” she said, and tilted her chin up toward me. “It’s strange. I didn’t want to marry you, but you’re the only person in this whole thing that ever gave a damn about me.”
I touched her cheek gently, but didn’t kiss her. I wanted to badly, wanted to pull her into the water with me and swim laps with her naked body but I had to keep myself focused on the task ahead.
“Something bad’s coming,” I said, voice nearly a whisper. Wind blew through the trees nearby, and I remembered the afternoon spent swimming in this pool while a string of nannies watched me, most of them old ladies, at least one of them fairly young and hot and also weirdly German. I didn’t have a lot to do back then when my father didn’t give a shit about me and let me roam the house and the grounds more or less however I wanted. I’d swim then go for long hikes back on the trails, and the nanny would follow, and sometimes I’d try to lose them in the woods and hide away in burrows and up trees for hours.
I didn’t hide anymore. But there was that instinct still in me from when I was a boy to climb a tree and stay there. Safety was in a tree, hidden from my father, from my life.
“I know,” she said. “I’m afraid.”
“Before it happens, I want to give you this chance.” I took her hand in mine, leaning closer. “If you want to leave, you can go right now. I’ll give you a divorce, and I’ll pay you as if you kept your promise for five years.”
She pulled her hand away. “What are you saying?”
“I’ll pay you,” I said. “You can leave, right now, if you want. It would be safer for you if you left this all before.”
She stared at me, mouth open, and I was torn in half, one part wanting her to take the money and run, to have a normal life, to grow up and be happy, and the other wanted her to stay so badly it made my stomach twist in knots. I couldn’t force her, not after what her father did, not after what her uncle tried to do. She deserved so much
