“It’s not set in stone,” I add, knowing what she must think of even the possibility. He was dead set against coming to California to live, and not once has he visited. We’d done video calls and I’d taken flights to see him during summers when I was still in school. But all that changed when Violet Wonders made it. We saw each other less and less, heard from each other even fewer times, and when we did connect it was never for long because I was always being pushed and prodded somewhere else.
Dad’s pride has always been his biggest downfall, and the only reason he’s been against flying here is because it’s the very reason our family is split. Owning up to that is something he’s never fully done, even if he’s apologized to me in the past.
I’m not the one who really deserves his apology though, and I think he knows it.
Rylee clears her throat. “We’re all set here, so I can get this all cleaned up and we can grab dinner. Manning and Cal stopped in earlier and asked if you’d be down to meet up somewhere tonight.”
“As a group?”
A shoulder lifts. “He said he’d catch you later. I thought he probably would have called you to make plans, so you’d let me know what’s up.”
I shake my head in exasperation. “You’ll learn soon enough that’s not how they roll.”
Mum agrees. “Those boys need a better head on their shoulders. They need schedules.”
While I agree, I still defend them the best I can out of understanding. “They’re enjoying time off a schedule since we’re usually tied to one with touring and promotion.”
That doesn’t appease my mother. “I still think there’s a lot of growing up to be done there. You know I love those boys but…” She shakes her head. “And when on earth are they going to stop pretending they’re not playing house together? I swear, I’ve been waiting for them to come clean for years.”
I choke on nothing but air the same time Rylee asks, “What?”
Pausing the cleanup, Mum stares at both of us with a hand on her hip. “How many adult men live together for this long? Those two have been inseparable since the band got together, and it’s not because they’re best friends. They travel together, they do everything together. The fact that you—” Her eyes dart to me in narrowed slits. “—don’t even see that makes me wonder how observant you are about other things.”
Her implication still rattles me. “What other things do you think I’m missing?”
Rylee grabs a broom from the cleaning closet and walks over, carefully watching me and Mum as my mother sighs at my obvious confusion.
Mum’s eyes go to Rylee, then back at me with a secretive smile. “Sweet boy, I think I’ll let you figure it all out on your own. It’ll certainly be more entertaining for me.”
She goes back to helping fold the plastic that contains a majority of the mess while I stare dumbfounded at the accusation.
How the hell didn’t I see something so obvious all these years?
Rylee walks over and puts her hand on my arm, offering me a small smile. “It doesn’t change anything,” she tells me quietly.
I nod slowly, mindlessly. “Doesn’t mean I don’t wish I’d realized sooner. If Cal and Manning are…” Why is it hard to say? I love those guys like they’re my brothers. It doesn’t matter what they are to each other because they’re still like family to me regardless. “Do you think Zayne and Jax know?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. But you’ve had a lot going on. It’s not the end of the world if you didn’t know, especially if they didn’t outright say anything. Maybe they don’t want anybody to know until they’re comfortable.”
“But why?” I ask aloud, more to myself than to Rylee or Mum. If it’s because they didn’t trust me with the truth then I’d feel like a bigger piece of shit than I already do. “It has to be because of what Zayne said.”
“What about what Zayne said?”
“I’m selfish.”
“Garrick—”
“I was always a selfish friend,” I state, no point in denying it. “I may not be as bad now, but Zayne was right. Cal and Manning probably didn’t want to tell me because they didn’t think I’d care. Or they think I’d react badly.”
“But you won’t. You wouldn’t.”
I shake my head. “No, I wouldn’t. I want them to be happy, Ry. No matter how they get to be. That’s all I want for any of the guys. They’re important to me.”
She smiles. “Then maybe you should tell them that sometime. It’ll probably mean a lot to them if they knew.”
I know she’s right.
But Christ, what else have I missed?
I look at Rylee.
Then my mother.
A lot, apparently.
I’m sitting in the backyard listening to music coming from the speakers attached to the side of the house when the door slides open. Eyes moving over my shoulder, I smile as Rylee approaches in another one of my t-shirts and a pair of leggings.
“I’m starting to think you don’t have enough shirts of your own,” I muse, tugging on the cotton when she’s close enough. “Your husband should really take better care of you. Buy you clothing. Things that make you happy.”
She gasps when I tug her down until her body falls on mine. I readjust us so she’s sitting between my legs with her back against my chest, my arms wrapped around her front as I use the top of her head as a chinrest.
Once we’re settled, she says, “Maybe I like stealing your clothes to wear.”
“Do
