Maura shook her head. “You have lived apart from us for many years, but some things never change.” She stood and paced the length of the divan, her wandering, exhausted gaze full of emotion. “No loyalty is higher than devotion to our own kind.”
Becka was well aware her mother was a separatist, although this was the first time she’d spoken it aloud to her daughter. Even though she’d suspected it, having it confirmed hit Becka like a punch to the gut. How could she and her mother be so diametrically opposed on this issue? Sure, having lived so long among humans, Becka had endured never-ending microaggressions and marginalizations, but she’d also enjoyed friendships and connection with other races. She saw the hope beyond the hate and yearned to show others that potential and leave the war behind forever.
What would it take for fae society to recover from losing the Great War, she wondered?
In order to win over her mother, perhaps Becka would need to start by opening herself to listening to Maura’s point of view. After all, if she couldn’t win over her mother, how did she expect to inspire any other fae to step forward into a new future?
“House first and always?” Becka asked, knowing it to be the answer her mother expected. Now, with Maura’s mood piqued in anger, was not the time to discuss the future of the races.
A strained smile spread across Maura’s face. “Always. We are committed to peace, but the safety of our people must come first. We must maintain our perspective. The humans would have preferred to exterminate us. Enforcer Quinn has, in the past, turned over fae accused of crimes against human society. You need to be wary of placing too much trust in him, lest he disappoint you. Or us.”
She’d heard accusations against Quinn before and he had addressed them all to her satisfaction. Hearing Maura’s perspective helped Becka put together the pieces. “Wouldn’t all fae-touched enforcers be bound by the same directive to hold our people to the law?”
Maura chuffed. “The laws they uphold are human-written and human-centric. Most fae who serve as enforcers only do so to fulfill their years of community service. Shifters have remained neutral and thus aren’t targeted by human laws like we have been. Thus, their Enforcers are more fair. Those fae-touched who make a career out of enforcer service, like Quinn, are a different breed altogether.” Maura pursed her lips like she’d tasted something sour.
Becka had heard the converse of that same argument from humans. She’d heard that humans who served alongside fae and shifters as enforcers were either moles intent on catching out fae on any cause or traitors to their own race for working with fae as peers. Distrust between the two races flowed both ways.
But she wanted to understand her mother’s perspective better, so she asked, “What do you mean?”
“All of that time they spend away from their house? It corrupts their spirit and blinds their loyalties.” Maura let out a mirthless laugh. “They are apt to be as lost as a babe in the woods on a cloudy night. Not unlike you at this moment.”
Becka heard her concerns but knew Quinn’s dedication to hunting down the Shadow-Dwellers had motivated him to stay with the enforcers. Becka shivered.
Do others in my house harbor those same thoughts when they look my way, that I’m a lost soul?
“I trust him not to betray me,” Becka said. Although he’d been distant, she’d attributed that to her engagement. What if he was also reacting to the attitude of those in House Rowan toward enforcers? Surely, he didn’t think she agreed with her house, did he? “He’s put his own life at risk to help me.”
Maura’s gaze narrowed on her. “I believe you believe that. What about the rest of us? Is he enforcer, or fae, first?”
Unused to being the sole focus of Maura’s indomitable will, Becka steeled her nerves. She told herself not to take it personally, that Maura would pressure anyone to get the answers she needed to ensure the safety of her house. Yet this was no mother asking her daughter to answer a straightforward question. This felt like an inquisitor demanding answers, and Becka could all too easily imagine her mother assuming this role regularly.
Becka was determined this was not the dynamic she would carry forward with her mother.
Her hesitation lasted only a moment. “Fae. His focus is on hunting down the Shadow-Dwellers, almost to the exclusion of anything else in his life. That’s why he’s stayed with the Enforcers’ Guild. I don’t think he has any bone to pick with fae society.”
Unlike myself, she left unsaid. If anything, their conversation had gelled in Becka’s mind the need in fae and human society to bridge the gap and move beyond their hate.
Maura reached out and touched her shoulder, a genuine smile gracing her lips. “That’s good to know. Thank you for your honesty.”
Becka smiled, feeling a touch awkward, considering Maura’s prior stern warning.
“You and Quinn appear to have grown inappropriately close. Evading being murdered together will do that.” Maura paused, as if considering her words. “In fact, I am confident surviving a psychopath forms a bond unlike any other.”
Becka side-eyed Maura. “I think our connection is rooted in more than that.”
Maura stopped and turned towards Becka, her expression neutral. “I am pointing out that the intensity of your connection to Quinn is likely a byproduct of meeting during your sister’s funeral and Woden’s subsequent attack. That makes it likely that there is no indication of long-term viability.”
A nervous laugh escaped Becka’s lips. Could that be another reason why Quinn was distant? Does he think our connection is trauma-induced? “Since when did you study psychology?”
Maura’s brow arched, but a hint of a smile lifted the corners of her lips. “I never have, but I’m attempting to put this in words I think you will understand. I am the duchess of this house, as one day you will be.
