Chapter Fifty-Seven
Clare slumped, resting her forehead on the metal doors, pulling air into oxygen-starved lungs.
Dorran chuckled as he rubbed her back. “You did it.”
“I did… something.” Clare lifted her head. Dazed, she blinked at the panel of buttons. In her urgency to escape the hollows, she hadn’t paid any attention to which button she’d pressed. She now saw she’d chosen Floor 8. Ultimately, she suspected it didn’t matter much. There would be hollows in every level of the tower by that point.
Only four floors didn’t have access from the elevator: the maintenance room, the labs, and two other restricted levels. The lights above the door flashed as they counted down to 8. The elevator drew to a halt. Its doors slid open with a soft ping.
Mercifully, the hallway was sparsely occupied. Shapes moved through the stairwell at the opposite wall. Two stopped to stare at the elevator as the doors opened. Clare hit the button to close the doors again. The hollows had only just started to move towards them before the metal barrier slid shut.
“We should be safe in here, at least.” Clare stepped back to lean against the railing on the rear wall. “They won’t be able to get in unless they figure out how to press the buttons.”
Dorran sighed and sank to the floor. He’d kept pace with her, but it was clear it had taxed him. He held out his hand, and Clare sat at his side.
“Rest with me a moment, then,” he said. “We have some time before we need to plan our next step.”
She knew what must be going through his head. They might be safe in the elevator, but it was a limited reprieve. With no water, their life span could be counted in hours, not days.
If they were in any other environment, they might have been able to outlast the hollows. The monsters would lose interest eventually and wander off for better pickings. But Helexis’s power was still running, and the recording continued to play. As long as it broadcast its broken message, the hollows would be compelled to mill through the building. Forever.
Clare leaned her head against Dorran’s shoulder. Her eyes burned. She tried to stay present and focussed on their situation, but her mind kept sliding back towards Ezra. The shock on his face as he turned towards the hollows. The screams.
Dorran brushed loose hair behind her ear then ran his thumb over her cheek and down to her jaw. Clare closed her eyes and let herself sink into the touch.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have turned the power off. It’s just made everything worse.”
“We were in a precarious situation. I don’t know if I would have done any differently.”
She chuckled. “You’re too forgiving. Sometimes you just need to tell me I was an idiot.”
He laughed as well then pulled her a little closer. They were both dirty, the once-white coats thoroughly ruined. Clare didn’t care. It was good just to be close to Dorran.
“My darling.” He took her hand and stroked it thoughtfully. “I think we perhaps have less room for remorse in this new world. Our choices will have vastly worse consequences. Simple mistakes can result in life-altering outcomes. Sometimes even death. But as the consequences grow worse, our fear must be proportionally less. Do you understand?”
She frowned. “Maybe. I think?”
“Regret had a purpose in the world. It helped us to learn from our actions, to do better next time. But now, the room for error is so small that regret offers no advantage. Do you have room to regret five things a day? Ten? If you try to carry that weight, it will smother you. To survive, we must release ourselves from remorse.”
“Dorran…”
“I am telling you this because you will need to be prepared. I have a plan.”
She tilted her head back to look up at him.
“It will mean you leave alone.”
A spear of ice-cold panic pierced through her chest. She grabbed the hand that was holding hers. “No. We either leave together or not at all.”
“Shh.” He kissed her forehead. “Don’t be upset. I have thought this through, and it is the only option I can see. My darling, I am spent. I have no strength left to run. But I can create a distraction for you, to buy you time to get out of the city.”
Distraction. He meant sacrifice. Being eaten. Using his own blood as a lure as Clare slipped away.
Fear and anger swelled through her. Clare twisted around. She grabbed Dorran’s head with one hand on either cheek, forcing him to look at her, and snapped, more loudly than she’d intended, “No. That is not happening. We leave together.”
His eyebrows rose, and Clare was horrified to see amusement flit across his face. His hand slid around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. She didn’t try to fight it.
“I love you so dearly.” His lips, bitter with blood, grazed hers before he settled back against the wall. “You are brave and smart and stronger than you think. I know you can survive.”
“Didn’t you hear me? I’m not leaving without you.” Clare’s voice cracked.
Dorran left his hand on the back of her neck, the thumb tracing small, gentle circles. “My darling Clare. You have no idea how badly I wish I could give you everything you want. But I am not able to go further.”
Sitting so close to him, pressed against his body, it was easy to see the toll the last day had taken on him. His skin was an awful ashen colour. New creases lingered across his brows and mouth. The darkness around his eyes was deepening. She pressed one hand to his chest and, through his shirt, felt how cold he was. Tears began to fall. “No, no,
