I feel a warmth inside of me. He remembered what I’m studying. I nod and shrug. “Yeah. Business is practical, but you were talking about dreams.” I notice as I’m talking that Matt is focused on my lips. I can see that look in his eyes again; the look that tells me the way I’m feeling isn’t one sided.
He’s watching my lips like he wants to taste them, his tongue licking over his own lips.
Before I can stop myself, I’m leaning in closer to him. My heart is pounding. I’m moving in for a kiss, and I’m suddenly terrified that Matt will laugh at me.
He doesn’t though. Instead, he starts to lean in towards me as well.
I am so wet, so ready for this. I need to kiss him like I’ve never kissed anyone before. I need to kiss him in a way that says take me home and fuck me all night long. Our lips are almost touching, and I close my eyes. Matt’s lips graze mine so gently I could convince myself I imagined the touch if it wasn’t for the way my lips tingle.
Before he can deepen the kiss I long for, his phone rings. My eyes fly open as he jumps away from me as though I’ve burned him.
“Dammit,” he shouts. He seems angry to have been disturbed, but he shrugs apologetically and moves away from me, pulling his phone out of his pocket and taking the call.
I am so fucking frustrated. It’s like fate is stopping us from kissing. Twice it’s almost happened, and twice we’ve been stopped.
I’m a little annoyed at Matt too, if I’m being honest. He couldn’t very well have ignored the girl in the party without looking like a major dick, but he could have ignored the call. He could have waited until after we’d kissed and then called them back.
He’s only gone for three or four minutes, and when I see him coming back, I’m determined to put aside my annoyance, laugh off the interruption, and pick back up where we started. One look at Matt’s expression tells me that’s not going to happen.
“I’m sorry Callie, I have to go,” he says to me.
I can hear the genuine regret in his voice and for a moment, my own disappointment takes a back seat, overpowered by concern for him. I stand up and touch his arm. “Is everything okay? Has something happened?” I ask.
“Yeah everything’s okay. Just… something came up. I’m sorry, I really do have to go … see you tomorrow.” The hint of regret has gone from his voice, leaving it a little cold and expressionless, and he turns and walks away from me without any further explanation. He doesn’t even wait for an answer.
“Yeah, bye then,” I say under my breath as I watch him walk back to the patio and into the house.
He doesn’t look back once and I feel lost suddenly. In that moment, I know. I don’t just like Matt. I don’t just want a wild night with him. It’s more than that. I’ve developed feelings for him. Feelings that are all too close to love — feelings that he clearly doesn’t share.
I sit back down on the bench, feeling the cold I didn’t notice before seeping into my bones. I bite my lip, forcing myself to hold back the tears that threaten to spill down my cheeks. I take a few deep breaths, then I stand up and hold my head up high.
Fuck this.
I’m not going to sit out here crying over some guy who clearly doesn’t want me. I’m going to go back into the party and have the night of my life. I’m going to show myself I don’t need Matt here to have a good time.
They’re the right thoughts for me to have, I know that. Now I just need to find a way to make myself believe them. I have a heavy heart when I walk back into the party, but I force myself to put a smile on my face and at least look like I want to be there.
Chapter Seven
Callie
I walk out of my lecture, a lecture about direct marketing that I’ve barely heard a word of, with my head down, trying not to catch anyone’s eye. I’m really not in the mood for polite conversation, or any conversation for that matter. I just want to head back up to my dorm room and hide away until it’s time for work. Not that I particularly want to go there either. In fact, that will no doubt be worse than here. At least in class, I can be miserable if I want to. At work, I have to plaster on that smile and pretend like everything is just fucking awesome all the damned time.
Well, it isn’t. It isn’t at all.
“Hey, I know it’s a Monday, but is there really any need for that expression?” Chloe asks as she comes up from behind me and slips her arm through mine.
I force myself to smile. I think for a second about the irony of it all. How I’m meant to be allowed to be miserable here and already, just seconds after thinking it, I’m wearing my work smile. “I was just thinking,” I finally reply.
“Bullshit,” Chloe replies. “Something’s wrong. You think I don’t know when your smile is fake? I swear, looking at it, I wonder how you keep a job working with people all day. And I know this mood has something to do with that guy at the party on Friday. We’re going to go and grab a coffee and you’re going to tell me all about it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say shaking my head.
I told her this same thing on Friday at the party when she tried to coax it out of me there, and nothing has changed. If I didn’t pour my heart out to her when I was drunk, I’m certainly not going to do it now, when
